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#13731 IvanG

IvanG
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    Posted 26 July 2011 - 11:10 AM

    I have to mention this was at Plaza Zavaz.

     

    Best,



    #13732 bryteyedbride

    bryteyedbride
    • Newbie
    • 68 posts

      Posted 26 July 2011 - 02:54 PM


      Hi Rachael,

       

      I am so sorry that you are having this experience.  Unfortunately, in times like this, people will disappoint you.  The brides that did not get disappointed by anyone that they love and care about are truly the lucky ones.  This is YOUR DAY and YOUR FIANCE'S DAY, and YOUR CHILDREN'S day.  My advice would be:  Do not let ANYONE rain on your parade.  Savor every happy moment that you can.  I paid for the room of a person that did not show up but plans to go on vacation in a few months, had a cousin come up with some bogus excuse about not being able to reschedule her flight until the day after my wedding (thus another no show), and a friend that said she could not afford to come while showing me 3 coats that she bought. I say this to say that some people will just disappoint you. Some people may not truly be happy for you.  Some people may be happy for you but are miserable with their own life and take it out on you.  I think that if your mother shows up, embrace it.  If she doesn't this is YOUR TIME and don't let anyone ruin it.  Stay strong!  You will pull through this, and it sounds like you are gaining a wonderful mother-in-law.   Remember, the most important thing is the new life you are building with your fiance.  It is going to be a great day!!
       

      Originally Posted by Rachael 

      Hi

       

      I feel like a stressed bride atm!....... looking for some advice please!. Had an argument with my mam and dont know what to do!!!    

       

       

         I have alway's had a strained relationship with my mam. She aslway's worked when we were younger and I cannot remember much laughter in our house as a child. My brother and I were always alone as children. She has not helped me with any of my wedding plans. I took her to see my dress, she loved it, which really choked me up, as this is the only time I have seen her get excited about anything to do with my wedding! The last few week's I have said to her, I feel as tho she doesnt really care about my wedding and does she definitly want to go?. She replied of course I want to see you in that beautiful dress. ( not the fact of our wedding ) and rambled about how she does not want to work till the age of 67! she is only 55 and what this had to do with my wedding .....I dnt know!!!!!

       

      I have sat all morning making  thank you for booking boarding pass card's and my mam walked in on her lunch. I showed her the card's and she lifted her head up, nodded and walked in the kitchen to make a cup of tea! My patience is running out by this time! I thought maybe she will say they look good when she walk's back in. No not a thing! she sat down and started eating her lunch. I closed my computer down and said I'm sick of this, you could not care less about my wedding. She replied I dont know why your stressing. would any of you other brides have felt like this???? or am I just being far to emotional!!! I said i have worked on them all morning and you lift your head up like that. Had that have been my future mother in law she would have looked and said they great. My mam replied well I'm not that type of person. I said I'm your daughter! I would be very excited about my son's wedding. It feel's you do not care about mine.

      She said I dnt know why you are having a go at me and taking your stress out on me. I said this is my wedding, you should be helping me plan it. She said your taking your stress out on me because you carn't afford it! I feel so angry she said that because my fiance has worked so hard this year to pay for our wedding. He is a kitchen fitter and got all the invoices saved with extra jobs he has done to pay for our wedding. This has made me feel sick that my own mam has said we cannot afford it.When infact we can and are paying for every detail ourselves! I have never asked or expected for anyone to contribute anything apart from their own holiday cost. Before we booked we told everyone our plan's and the people who booked all said they wanted to come inc my mam and she would pay for her hol.  

      My mam had booked and paid £500 (she tell's me it was, I personally think it would cost more to fly from England to malaysia)  to go to Malaysia in May. To her boyfriends niece's wedding. She had never met this lady getting married but still flew over to her wedding. I said you were more excited going to Malaysia. She said that cost me £500 and your's is costing me £1700. That is for her holiday for 2 weeks. She said I never got any help with my wedding. I paid for everything myself. I said I dnt want any help to pay for it. I just want you to help plan it. She said well I dont like wedding's and I'm not interested in Weddings.I said just because yours never worked out, doesn't mean you have to tie every wedding with the same brush!. She stormed out.

       

       

      I have cried and cried! carn't get the thought of her being so cheeky to say we carnt afford it out of my head!!! when all i wanted was for her to have some excitement about going!

       

      I chose to get married abroad as my 2 sons have not been christened due to my mam saying if I invited my dad's side of the family then she would not go. I thought to get married abroad would be far easier and it is something that I have alway's dreamed of.

       

      My mam never bother's with my children.

       

      I feel as tho I don't want my mam to come, if she does not want to help me plan.

       

      Has anyone got any advice or experiencing similar things with their mum?

       

      Also my brother may not be able to come as he is not getting as much work and might not be able to afford it. My niece is going to be bridesmaid too.

       

      My dad has now told me he will need to sell his house to be able to come. His house has been on the market for quite some time. He is a driving instructor and not getting much work. I feel ill with worry about the whole thing now

         



       



      #13733 KerryL613

      KerryL613
      • Newbie
      • 113 posts

        Posted 26 July 2011 - 04:54 PM

        Congrats LauraMinn!  I hope you have awonderful time and can't wait to hear (and see) all about it!



        #13734 allysmi

        allysmi
        • Newbie
        • 29 posts

          Posted 26 July 2011 - 05:55 PM



           

          Listen chickie... I have had a similar experience with my family. I have 6 siblings, only 2 are coming. 1 has been wishy washy from the very beginning. I gave everyone more than a year's notice to sufficiently plan. My sister was more concerned with going on a trip for her birthday and tried to recruit my other siblings to go with her. She has criticized everything about the wedding from my fiance, to the location, to the dress yada yada yada. I had to realize that not everyone is happy for you, some people are jealous and just plain unhappy with themselves. I had to come to the realization that you cannot control what other people do, say or think. You can only control how you react to it. At the end of the day, if someone doesn't want to come (regardless of the reason), you truly do not want them there because they will negatively impact your experience. If your mom is not responding the way you want her to, don't include her. While you are saddened by it, it's definitely the less stressful approach. I'm sorry you are having this experience but if you want to be happy I suggest you worry about yourself and your soon to be and planning your day the way you want it. Once I let go of all of the negativity, I was able to get so much done and actually started to have fun planning. I feel like this huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Dry your tears sweetie - you're getting married. :-)

           

          Originally Posted by Rachael 

          Hi

           

          I feel like a stressed bride atm!....... looking for some advice please!. Had an argument with my mam and dont know what to do!!!    

           

           

             I have alway's had a strained relationship with my mam. She aslway's worked when we were younger and I cannot remember much laughter in our house as a child. My brother and I were always alone as children. She has not helped me with any of my wedding plans. I took her to see my dress, she loved it, which really choked me up, as this is the only time I have seen her get excited about anything to do with my wedding! The last few week's I have said to her, I feel as tho she doesnt really care about my wedding and does she definitly want to go?. She replied of course I want to see you in that beautiful dress. ( not the fact of our wedding ) and rambled about how she does not want to work till the age of 67! she is only 55 and what this had to do with my wedding .....I dnt know!!!!!

           

          I have sat all morning making  thank you for booking boarding pass card's and my mam walked in on her lunch. I showed her the card's and she lifted her head up, nodded and walked in the kitchen to make a cup of tea! My patience is running out by this time! I thought maybe she will say they look good when she walk's back in. No not a thing! she sat down and started eating her lunch. I closed my computer down and said I'm sick of this, you could not care less about my wedding. She replied I dont know why your stressing. would any of you other brides have felt like this???? or am I just being far to emotional!!! I said i have worked on them all morning and you lift your head up like that. Had that have been my future mother in law she would have looked and said they great. My mam replied well I'm not that type of person. I said I'm your daughter! I would be very excited about my son's wedding. It feel's you do not care about mine.

          She said I dnt know why you are having a go at me and taking your stress out on me. I said this is my wedding, you should be helping me plan it. She said your taking your stress out on me because you carn't afford it! I feel so angry she said that because my fiance has worked so hard this year to pay for our wedding. He is a kitchen fitter and got all the invoices saved with extra jobs he has done to pay for our wedding. This has made me feel sick that my own mam has said we cannot afford it.When infact we can and are paying for every detail ourselves! I have never asked or expected for anyone to contribute anything apart from their own holiday cost. Before we booked we told everyone our plan's and the people who booked all said they wanted to come inc my mam and she would pay for her hol.  

          My mam had booked and paid £500 (she tell's me it was, I personally think it would cost more to fly from England to malaysia)  to go to Malaysia in May. To her boyfriends niece's wedding. She had never met this lady getting married but still flew over to her wedding. I said you were more excited going to Malaysia. She said that cost me £500 and your's is costing me £1700. That is for her holiday for 2 weeks. She said I never got any help with my wedding. I paid for everything myself. I said I dnt want any help to pay for it. I just want you to help plan it. She said well I dont like wedding's and I'm not interested in Weddings.I said just because yours never worked out, doesn't mean you have to tie every wedding with the same brush!. She stormed out.

           

           

          I have cried and cried! carn't get the thought of her being so cheeky to say we carnt afford it out of my head!!! when all i wanted was for her to have some excitement about going!

           

          I chose to get married abroad as my 2 sons have not been christened due to my mam saying if I invited my dad's side of the family then she would not go. I thought to get married abroad would be far easier and it is something that I have alway's dreamed of.

           

          My mam never bother's with my children.

           

          I feel as tho I don't want my mam to come, if she does not want to help me plan.

           

          Has anyone got any advice or experiencing similar things with their mum?

           

          Also my brother may not be able to come as he is not getting as much work and might not be able to afford it. My niece is going to be bridesmaid too.

           

          My dad has now told me he will need to sell his house to be able to come. His house has been on the market for quite some time. He is a driving instructor and not getting much work. I feel ill with worry about the whole thing now

             



           


          It is not only marrying the right person -- it is being the right partner.


          #13735 Mwise17

          Mwise17
          • Member
          • 528 posts

            Posted 26 July 2011 - 06:17 PM

            Canadian Ladies....anyone know where to get that emergen-c stuff from?



            #13736 Rachael

            Rachael
            • Site Supporter
            • 142 posts

              Posted 26 July 2011 - 06:44 PM

              Love your pics Jaime. Stunning, looks like you had so much fun doing ttd. Congratulations x 


              Photo's http://www.facebook....&l=da84190beaMy wedding review http://www.bestdesti...ewestpost/79537 x I became Mrs Readman on the 23rd of April 2012 and married my best friend x

              #13737 Rachael

              Rachael
              • Site Supporter
              • 142 posts

                Posted 26 July 2011 - 07:05 PM

                Thank you very much girls. You are all right, im not going to mention any details to my mam. She knows how I feel and there is nothing I can do to change that. I have 2 excited lil boys aged 6 and 2 that cannot wait for Mammy and Daddy's wedding! They are both going to be our page boys. My 6 year old asked me the other day if he can have the job of giving the cake out after our wedding. When I said yes, his little face lit up! So that is his special job! My 2 year old cannot wait to play in the swimming pool. I am going to focus on savouring them details and not any negatives. We have decided the children will join in the sand ceremoney too. Which I am really excited about! My 2 year old is a right charactor and will probs throw the sand around rather than pour into the vases....it'l all be fun!

                 

                Thank you very much Murmel, mwise and bryteyedbride thankyou for making me realise the important thing's again 

                 

                Rach x 

                  


                Photo's http://www.facebook....&l=da84190beaMy wedding review http://www.bestdesti...ewestpost/79537 x I became Mrs Readman on the 23rd of April 2012 and married my best friend x

                #13738 brit canuck

                brit canuck
                • Newbie
                • 50 posts

                  Posted 27 July 2011 - 02:40 AM

                  Hi there!  Popeye's Canada apparently has it  http://www.popeyesca..._emergen-c.php  or I believe my sister has bought it at Walmart before.  j
                   

                  Originally Posted by Mwise17 

                  Canadian Ladies....anyone know where to get that emergen-c stuff from?



                   


                  Marrying my lobster October 31, 2011 - could I be more excited?!


                  #13739 murmel

                  murmel
                  • Resort/Area Ambassadors
                  • 1,407 posts
                  • Wedding Date:January 24, 2011
                  • Wedding Location:Azul Sensatori Mayan Riveria

                  Posted 27 July 2011 - 06:39 AM



                  Originally Posted by Mwise17 

                  Canadian Ladies....anyone know where to get that emergen-c stuff from?

                  I bought mine from Winners. But have also seen it at Wal-Mart. If I see it around, I'll let you know ASAP!
                   

                  Originally Posted by Rachael 

                  Thank you very much girls. You are all right, im not going to mention any details to my mam. She knows how I feel and there is nothing I can do to change that. I have 2 excited lil boys aged 6 and 2 that cannot wait for Mammy and Daddy's wedding! They are both going to be our page boys. My 6 year old asked me the other day if he can have the job of giving the cake out after our wedding. When I said yes, his little face lit up! So that is his special job! My 2 year old cannot wait to play in the swimming pool. I am going to focus on savouring them details and not any negatives. We have decided the children will join in the sand ceremoney too. Which I am really excited about! My 2 year old is a right charactor and will probs throw the sand around rather than pour into the vases....it'l all be fun!

                   

                  Thank you very much Murmel, mwise and bryteyedbride thankyou for making me realise the important thing's again 

                   

                  Rach x 

                    

                  What a blessing that you have two wonderful little boys that will just be grinning ear to ear for every moment of your wedding! Concentrate on that and making it a day to remember for your family and it will be amazing! In the meantime, you can show us all your little details! LOL 
                   

                   


                  Married my best friend on January 24, 2011 at Azul Sensatori! :wub:

                   

                  Ambassador for Azul Sensatori and Karisma resorts

                   

                  Official Azul Sensatori thread:

                  http://www.bestdesti... azul sensatori

                   

                  Recommended Travel agency: Wright Travel

                  http://www.wrighttravelagency.com/


                  #13740 kerry872

                  kerry872
                  • Jr. Member
                  • 165 posts

                    Posted 27 July 2011 - 07:40 AM



                    Rachael,

                     

                    Remember what a wedding is about. Its about you and your hubby to be wanting to spend the rest of your lives together.

                     

                    Unfortunately not everyone will have the same excitement or feelings about the wedding.

                     

                    They may be an element of jealousy of you gorgeous wedding or guilt that she can't help with money. But either way its not worth the worry as long ans you and your finance are happy with your decisions that should be the most important thing.

                     

                    Any guests friends or family is only a bonus.

                     

                    None of my own friends are going either to do with money or babies. But i have had to bite the bullet and accept my friends and who would have been bridesmaid wont be there.

                     

                    I really hope it all sorts out

                     

                     

                    xxx

                    Originally Posted by Rachael 

                    Hi

                     

                    I feel like a stressed bride atm!....... looking for some advice please!. Had an argument with my mam and dont know what to do!!!    

                     

                     

                       I have alway's had a strained relationship with my mam. She aslway's worked when we were younger and I cannot remember much laughter in our house as a child. My brother and I were always alone as children. She has not helped me with any of my wedding plans. I took her to see my dress, she loved it, which really choked me up, as this is the only time I have seen her get excited about anything to do with my wedding! The last few week's I have said to her, I feel as tho she doesnt really care about my wedding and does she definitly want to go?. She replied of course I want to see you in that beautiful dress. ( not the fact of our wedding ) and rambled about how she does not want to work till the age of 67! she is only 55 and what this had to do with my wedding .....I dnt know!!!!!

                     

                    I have sat all morning making  thank you for booking boarding pass card's and my mam walked in on her lunch. I showed her the card's and she lifted her head up, nodded and walked in the kitchen to make a cup of tea! My patience is running out by this time! I thought maybe she will say they look good when she walk's back in. No not a thing! she sat down and started eating her lunch. I closed my computer down and said I'm sick of this, you could not care less about my wedding. She replied I dont know why your stressing. would any of you other brides have felt like this???? or am I just being far to emotional!!! I said i have worked on them all morning and you lift your head up like that. Had that have been my future mother in law she would have looked and said they great. My mam replied well I'm not that type of person. I said I'm your daughter! I would be very excited about my son's wedding. It feel's you do not care about mine.

                    She said I dnt know why you are having a go at me and taking your stress out on me. I said this is my wedding, you should be helping me plan it. She said your taking your stress out on me because you carn't afford it! I feel so angry she said that because my fiance has worked so hard this year to pay for our wedding. He is a kitchen fitter and got all the invoices saved with extra jobs he has done to pay for our wedding. This has made me feel sick that my own mam has said we cannot afford it.When infact we can and are paying for every detail ourselves! I have never asked or expected for anyone to contribute anything apart from their own holiday cost. Before we booked we told everyone our plan's and the people who booked all said they wanted to come inc my mam and she would pay for her hol.  

                    My mam had booked and paid £500 (she tell's me it was, I personally think it would cost more to fly from England to malaysia)  to go to Malaysia in May. To her boyfriends niece's wedding. She had never met this lady getting married but still flew over to her wedding. I said you were more excited going to Malaysia. She said that cost me £500 and your's is costing me £1700. That is for her holiday for 2 weeks. She said I never got any help with my wedding. I paid for everything myself. I said I dnt want any help to pay for it. I just want you to help plan it. She said well I dont like wedding's and I'm not interested in Weddings.I said just because yours never worked out, doesn't mean you have to tie every wedding with the same brush!. She stormed out.

                     

                     

                    I have cried and cried! carn't get the thought of her being so cheeky to say we carnt afford it out of my head!!! when all i wanted was for her to have some excitement about going!

                     

                    I chose to get married abroad as my 2 sons have not been christened due to my mam saying if I invited my dad's side of the family then she would not go. I thought to get married abroad would be far easier and it is something that I have alway's dreamed of.

                     

                    My mam never bother's with my children.

                     

                    I feel as tho I don't want my mam to come, if she does not want to help me plan.

                     

                    Has anyone got any advice or experiencing similar things with their mum?

                     

                    Also my brother may not be able to come as he is not getting as much work and might not be able to afford it. My niece is going to be bridesmaid too.

                     

                    My dad has now told me he will need to sell his house to be able to come. His house has been on the market for quite some time. He is a driving instructor and not getting much work. I feel ill with worry about the whole thing now

                       



                     






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