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How to keep legal day a Secret?


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#11 happyone

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    Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:22 PM

    Just don't tell anyone. I don't think anyone will ask. Honestly, I've never thought about things like that at a wedding. As long as there's an officiant, it looks legitimate. Just keep the margaritas coming and no one will even think about it.

    #12 verrow23

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      Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:23 PM

      We're having our Catholic wedding in Mexico, then having our civil ceremony when we get back. We're getting legally merried on our 5 year anniversary, and we're having a good friend and her husband be our only witnesses since they can't make our wedding in Mexico.
      I knew he was the man I would marry as soon as we met...

      #13 A10CalGal

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        Posted 16 June 2008 - 11:29 PM

        Well, in theory it should be no big deal. However, if you have investigative, curious, won't let shit go guests, then be prepared for the drama.

        We did the legal ceremony one week before we left for Cabo. Serioulsy, we all know it's way easier to do it in the states, and it's totally just paperwork. The DW is about the REAL wedding, celebrating with friends & fam & just having a kick ass time, right?

        Well goddamn if I didn't have a certain guest, who I have known my whole life, that got lit at the girls pedi-party & started asking questions. I don't know how she knew, but she just kept probing & probing in front of all the women. Only my mom & BFF knew. I was so pissed. I just smiled & didn't say a word. I wanted to strangle her because she made such a big f'ing deal about the person performing the ceremony (we had our own officiant) and how it was legal in Mexico, blah blah blah...

        Point: just be prepared :)

        #14 rodent

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          Posted 17 June 2008 - 07:56 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Christa
          Well, in theory it should be no big deal. However, if you have investigative, curious, won't let shit go guests, then be prepared for the drama.

          We did the legal ceremony one week before we left for Cabo. Serioulsy, we all know it's way easier to do it in the states, and it's totally just paperwork. The DW is about the REAL wedding, celebrating with friends & fam & just having a kick ass time, right?

          Well goddamn if I didn't have a certain guest, who I have known my whole life, that got lit at the girls pedi-party & started asking questions. I don't know how she knew, but she just kept probing & probing in front of all the women. Only my mom & BFF knew. I was so pissed. I just smiled & didn't say a word. I wanted to strangle her because she made such a big f'ing deal about the person performing the ceremony (we had our own officiant) and how it was legal in Mexico, blah blah blah...

          Point: just be prepared :)
          random people were asking me all the time. When I was being secretive about it it was so uncomfortable. I'd try to dodge the question. I hate lying. So finally i started to say, "we are taking care of the paperwork before we go because it's less work, saves $1,000, & allows us to personalize the ceremony." The response is great. And I love my legal day pics. I don't want to hide them from everyone. I want them in my photobook.

          #15 yamille

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            Posted 17 June 2008 - 08:05 AM

            I'm glad to hear all your opinions. This has been something that I have been thinking about. We were going to do legal and scrapped it for the symbolic. It ends up saving almost $1900 with the fee and bloodwork and hotel stay for the extra extra days. I struggled becuase I wondered if guests would feel weird or would I feel weird not telling. I decided that I kind of like the idea. I will probably do something like Morgan and go out for dinner and take fun pics and keep the celebration going all the way to Mexico.

            #16 ntanzob

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              Posted 17 June 2008 - 08:18 AM

              fyi - we are having a symbolic ceremony and we are married already. Our WC asked us if our guests knew that we are already married. I believe they know how to make the ceremony appear as if this is the "only" ceremony you will have. Anyone ask before? just tell them this is your wedding ceremony. Who would inquire as to that anyway....weird.

              #17 Copita

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                Posted 17 June 2008 - 09:15 AM

                Nicole,

                We only told our immediate family (parents, brothers, sisters, etc).
                I am CRIMINALLY good at keeping secrets so this has not been difficult to me.
                Our pastor knows what is up and I asked him if he can give us something from the church stating our union is recognized in God's eyes and he will make us sign this certificate from the church. :) LOL

                If people ask though I will just tell them but if they don't, I won't lie.
                Most of our guests have NO idea though.

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by happyone
                I'm having a legal ceremony two days before we go to Mexico. I told everyone that it is just the bureaucratic paperwork and that we are not recognizing the marriage until we say our vows in front of loved ones. I'm not going to wear the wedding band either until after the symbolic ceremony.
                Same with us. We are not recognizing it as the "real deal" until we get our blessing and aren't exchanging our wedding bands until the symbolic ceremony. Also, on our invitations, we used the words we "request the honour of your presence as we unite our lives in holy matrimony" instead of saying "at our marriage," since we are legally married and I hate lying but I have a way with playing with words!

                #18 Cole5worm

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                  Posted 17 June 2008 - 12:25 PM

                  ^^^^^^^^^

                  Everyone has great Ideas! Thank you so much for your input! I have told my FI parents and Grandma. I haven't told mine but they are cool with it and they live in CA so i kind of don't want them to know just so my dad feels extra special for walking me down the asile!

                  So you don't do rings at the court house PERFECT!

                  How about this my FI's Dad is a big guy and hates to fly and he has been giving us grif about the wedding sicne we have started planning it.. makes me feel liek shit about it! anyways now that we are "legally" married on Friday he said he is off the hook.. he might not go and use the trip another time! what BS huh.. oh well he is such a party pooper anyways.... probably better if he doesn't go!

                  sorry.. had to vent!!

                  #19 Amy&Andy

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                    Posted 17 June 2008 - 12:49 PM

                    So far..no one has asked and we don't plan on telling anyone. No matter what, our family is all looking at this as a great excuse to all get together for a celebration. It wouldn't matter to any one of them if it wasn't "legal" This is our marraige celebration, and they are all so so excited to share it with us. We will keep it quiet when we have our legal ceremony when we get back. I'm hoping the marriage license deal doesn't go in the paper for everyone to see

                    #20 happyone

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                      Posted 17 June 2008 - 02:10 PM

                      You do have to do rings at the courthouse, at least here in California. You can just use your engagement ring, though. I think they want to make sure people are not getting married to commit fraud or something but really someone could just buy a twenty dollar ring and get married. The government is so smart sometimes. hehe That is really messed up of your FI's dad. Hopefully he'll change his mind.




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