The in laws
Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:50 AM
My fiance's family is constantly a sore subject between the two of us. I feel as though we shouldn't invite his older brother Devan to our wedding. We found out that we were pregnant a few months back and his brother proceeded to say horrible things to my fiance about me and about our twins. Things like we should get an abortion, that they probably weren't his, that he is settling for someone beneath him. He made it quite clear that he doesn't approve of me, nor is he willing to get to know me.
I'm worried that if invited and granted he shows up that he will cause a scene or even say something ot my family. I don't get along with his sister. I have a myspace and I generally don't pay attention to it but she goes over and has read every single thing on my page and has tried to use it against me to her brother...uhhh, childish. Also, she constantly talks to my family members and friends via the net, trying to find dirt on me so her brother will leave me.
She also isn't accepting of the fact that we're having children together. I mean, when Kaid told her she worked it out all in her head and tried to convince him that they weren't his. I feel selfish for thinking this...but I mean, if you do it right you're only supposed to get married once and I just want it to be perfect. What do I do? Is it appropriate to not invite them? Do I just have to grin and bear it? ((sigh))
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:04 PM
aside from that, has your FI dealt with them and let them know the way they are acting is not OK with him? what is his deal in defending you? is he?
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:06 PM
How does your FI feel about them?
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:15 PM
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:17 PM
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:28 PM
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:29 PM
IMHO it doesn't sound like a civil sit down would solve much. To do things like that, they really have to dislike you. I doubt airing it all out will make it all better. They can continue on dislking you, but they need to at least treat you civily. There is a person in my family that most of us don't like. We do treat that person with respect but we aren't exactly buddy buddy with him. It can work out BUT your FI will have to play a major part in it working.
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:42 PM
Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:45 PM
Posted 09 June 2008 - 01:29 PM
My in laws wouldn't dare do that to me mostly because they know I would punch everyone of their lights out - even so I can't stand them and his sister is NOT invited to the wedding!! However that was FI's decision which I was only too glad to agree to and if i'm honest I probably convinced him she was an alchy lush that would be a pain in the arse lol
Can not just elope come back and say we're married deal with it? Do you really want the big wedding? If not you have your answer.
You can only express your feelings but unfortunately you can't cut them completely out unless you are a horrible hard faced cow like me who has managed easily to do it lol
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