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I am so confused-many questions, PLEASE SHARE ADVICE!**


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#1 Jen5372

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    Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:45 AM

    HI! This board has saved my sanity for wedding planning in Vegas and only having 10 weeks to do it-now 7 3/4th! ha ha

    I was married before-so no shower, no bachelorette for me.


    But.........
    Here's the questions:

    1. Is it appropriate to have a reception/picnic AFTEr the wedding back in our hometown at a local park (cabin w/ fireplace/outdoor games, etc) and invite everyone to that?

    2. DF wasnt ever married, so can we register and ONLY include the registry cards for people on his side of the family and friends?

    3. DO I walk down the aisle myself(second wedding, dad wont be there)?

    Thanks for the replies!!!!!!! I appreciate it! :)

    #2 lucy106

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      Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:51 AM

      1. Is it appropriate to have a reception/picnic AFTEr the wedding back in our hometown at a local park (cabin w/ fireplace/outdoor games, etc) and invite everyone to that?

      Totally, I think the majority of us plan on doing something like that

      2. DF wasnt ever married, so can we register and ONLY include the registry cards for people on his side of the family and friends?

      I was married before to and my FI was not so we were not going to register. But everyone get bugging us to (both sides). I would give cards to all. As a friend told me "you dont want to end up with the ugly leaf plate like I did"

      3. DO I walk down the aisle myself(second wedding, dad wont be there)?

      You can walk yourself or if your mom is going she can walk you or a brother, just another positive of a DW, anything goes. It is what YOU are comforatble with

      #3 LCBride2007

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        Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:52 AM

        in one answer - DO WHAT YOU WANT! lol seriously, there are no rules, so do what you want to do, ya know?

        But since my situation was the same (married before, Paul wasn't), here is what I did ...

        1. Is it appropriate to have a reception/picnic AFTEr the wedding back in our hometown at a local park (cabin w/ fireplace/outdoor games, etc) and invite everyone to that? Yes, many girls on here have had an AHR (at home reception) varying in formality, etc. I didn't have one - but just because I didn't want to plan anything else!

        2. DF wasnt ever married, so can we register and ONLY include the registry cards for people on his side of the family and friends? We weren't going to register at all, just because we had everything we needed. But since his mom insisted on throwing a shower, we did register. We didn't use registry cards though. People will want to give you a gift, even if they already have. I would either just share with everyone (about the registry) or no one at all - don't segretage people.

        3. DO I walk down the aisle myself(second wedding, dad wont be there)? Again, do what you want! I walked down myself 1/2 the way, then picked up my dad, then a few steps later picked up my mom (they're divorced). In my first wedding, I walked alone.

        #4 Jen_S

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          Posted 09 June 2008 - 11:59 AM

          1. Is it appropriate to have a reception/picnic AFTEr the wedding back in our hometown at a local park (cabin w/ fireplace/outdoor games, etc) and invite everyone to that?

          Yes I believe you should have a reception when you get home. Your wedding should be something you should celebrate.

          2. DF wasnt ever married, so can we register and ONLY include the registry cards for people on his side of the family and friends?

          Since we are doing a DW we are not going to register.

          3. DO I walk down the aisle myself(second wedding, dad wont be there)?

          It is up to you. Is there someone else you would like to walk down the aisle with?
          Our Honeymoon In Ireland!!

          #5 rodent

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            Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:04 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Jen5372
            HI! This board has saved my sanity for wedding planning in Vegas and only having 10 weeks to do it-now 7 3/4th! ha ha

            I was married before-so no shower, no bachelorette for me.


            But.........
            Here's the questions:

            1. Is it appropriate to have a reception/picnic AFTEr the wedding back in our hometown at a local park (cabin w/ fireplace/outdoor games, etc) and invite everyone to that?

            yes, I think that sounds like fun.

            2. DF wasnt ever married, so can we register and ONLY include the registry cards for people on his side of the family and friends?

            I wouldn't include the registry cards. They are considered bad ettiquette. You can spread your registry info via word of mouth or put a link on your wedding website. Many people called & emailed me so i told them where we were registered. Don't fight the registry. People will talk you in to doing it because they want to send something. I wasn't interested in registering, but now taht the gifts are rolling in I'm really enjoying them & i feel so loved. I never imagined people would send so much.

            3. DO I walk down the aisle myself(second wedding, dad wont be there)?

            Walk with who you want. If my dad couldnt make it to my wedding, I'd walk in with my mom. She is the one that raised me. I'm walking with my dad because it's a big deal that he has lost a lot of weight so that he can walk me. If on the day of my wedding he isn't feelling up to it I'll walk with my mom.

            Another option is to walk in together with your soon-to-be husband.



            I think you can still have a bachellorette if you want. there is never anything wrong with just having fun with your girls.

            i don't think a 2nd marriage should have to be treated that differently. I understand not having a shower because many of those guests have attended a shower for you or you already have all the stuff you could need. I haven't been married but I still had no interest in having a shower.



            Thanks for the replies!!!!!!! I appreciate it! :)
            I have been more excited about 2nd marriages when i know the person is marrying the right one this time. To me it wasn't any less special. I'm so happy to see my friends get it right the 2nd time around & find the happiness they deserve. it's still a huge occasion to celebrate.

            #6 DanielleNDerek

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              Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:09 PM

              1. A party once you go home is a great idea. a lot of girls have an ahr (at home reception), some are really fancy and others are more like a huge kick ass party.

              2. i think you should let everyone know where your registered. hmmm i don't think you should put it with invites though not sure how everyone would know.

              3. you can definately just walk yourself down the isle unless you had anyone else that you feel is special to you do it. I just saw a wedding on tv this weekend and the girl walked herself down the isle while her dad played the trumpet, sounds a little strange but it was actually very nice.
              ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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              #7 jajajaja

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                Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:10 PM

                I agree with all the responses thus far but I wanted to add something else. It seems that you are having some guilt over this being your 2nd marriage and you feel that people will not consider it as special. That's ridiculous in my opinion. Those that love you will be more than ecstatic that you have found love again. It's so hard to bounce back from a divorce. You should celebrate that you were able to recover and find love again. If others have issues that it's your 2nd marriage and feel you don't deserve all the congratulations, then that's their problem. They are probably negative dirtbags anyways. :)
                Happily married since 2008

                #8 rodent

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                  Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:13 PM

                  [QUOTE=DanielleNDerek;413820]1. A party once you go home is a great idea. a lot of girls have an ahr (at home reception), some are really fancy and others are more like a huge kick ass party.

                  2. i think you should let everyone know where your registered. hmmm i don't think you should put it with invites though not sure how everyone would know.

                  3. you can definately just walk yourself down the isle unless you had anyone else that you feel is special to you do it. I just saw a wedding on tv this weekend and the girl walked herself down the isle while her dad played the trumpet, sounds a little strange but it was actually very nice.[/QUOTE]

                  I like that idea. At one point I had thought about having my dad sing as my mom walked me down the aisle (before my dad was up & walking again). But, i relized he'd cry the whole time so he was going to make a recording instead. He never got around to it so I'm just bringing a copy of the song. If he wants to do an impromptu version of it after the wedding that would be great.

                  #9 DanielleNDerek

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                    Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:15 PM

                    that would of been so sweet Morgan but an impromptu later will be really sweet too.
                    ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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                    #10 rodent

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                      Posted 09 June 2008 - 12:16 PM

                      Quote:
                      Originally Posted by LC_Rachel
                      I agree with all the responses thus far but I wanted to add something else. It seems that you are having some guilt over this being your 2nd marriage and you feel that people will not consider it as special. That's ridiculous in my opinion. Those that love you will be more than ecstatic that you have found love again. It's so hard to bounce back from a divorce. You should celebrate that you were able to recover and find love again. If others have issues that it's your 2nd marriage and feel you don't deserve all the congratulations, then that's their problem. They are probably negative dirtbags anyways. :)
                      that is exactly what I was trying to say, but you say it so much better. I love the LC Rachel spin on everything :)

                      I think wedding guilt is common. I felt so much guilt when we first started planning that it was completely ruining the happiness of being engaged. My guilt was all from asking people to meet us in mexico. Now I know that the guilt was a waste of time & our family can not wait. if people try to make you feel guilty that is their problem. But, don't make your self feel guilty. Celebrate & get excited about your awesome wedding coming up!




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