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DanielleNDerek

Is this rude

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OMG!!! I just read this whole thread and I can't believe this. I have 2 small children and as a nurse I also see many others that have babies and have company (sometimes a LOT of company). Anyway, while I was in labour with my daughter, I had guests come in. My Mom was there for most of the time, except for when she went home to shower and change since she was working nights (we work together as nurses) when I went in @ 1am. My sister was 13 then, and she got off the bus right by the hospital so she could be there. FI Mom came in a few times, then some friends came in and then there were all the nurses that stopped in to see how things were going. I finally ended up with a c-section at 9pm, and my Mom, sis and FMIL were there. My Mom was actually in the OR with us and took pics since she also works in the OR too. The next few days people came to visit and see the baby. It was tiring, yet nice and relaxing if that makes sense. Having a baby is an exhausting experience, and having the company was tiring, but it was relaxing to have a break since they took care of she when they were there.

 

Honestly, I was upset with FFIL, but it wasn't because I didn't want him there, it was because he didn't come to she her. She was about a week old before he saw her because we had to take her out to see him!!!!! I don't care that he doesn't like hospitals, I felt like should have at least came to see her once before we were out of the hospital. After all, we were there for 5 days and he lives 10 mins OOT.

 

Bonding - studies now say that bonding can be done anytime after birth and not essential in the first few hours after birth like they used to say.

After having both my kids I was so out of it because of my sensitivity to anesthetics that I barely remember the first 24 hrs, and I wasn't able to do too much without other people there to help me, and our bonds were great!

 

Visitors - If you don't want visitors, then you don't have them, and that means ALL visitors. Sometimes people only want family, but you don't pick oneside over the other. It is all or none!!!!

 

Rude Comments - Totally not called for!!!

 

Standing up for Family - I agree that your bro needs to say something to his wife or things are only going to get worse. I am glad that you were able to talk to him and hopefully things get sorted out for everyone! Hormones or not, your SIL is being a 'see you next tuesday'! I feel so bad for your parents, give them a hug from me!

 

Sorry for the long rant, but I had some catching up to do. LOL.

 

Oh yeah, Congrats on being an Auntie to that gorgeous little man! He is adorable! That man of yours Danielle is so great for calling your Mom too!

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Roman is adorable! YAY congrats! In time it will all smooth over. I think it's good you let your bro know it wasnt right what had hapened, and in the meantime, just continue doing what you're doing- which is beig there for your mom. And your FI is cute for cheering her up!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ethrondson View Post
Sorry for the long rant, but I had some catching up to do. LOL.
Don't be sorry for the long rant, i loved reading your opinion. It was great having an opinion of both a nurse and a mother.

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My brother did finally call my parents and apologized and his wife apologized too about a week ago. And my mom was really eager to forgive. My dad was still a little pissed until he saw the baby. lol And my bro and his wife have already had my parents babysit. And they want my mom's help when my dad goes back to work. My oh my how things have changed. hehe

 

sil said she was having a really hard time with the baby with breast feeding and she wasn't feeling well. but im still a little pissed at them. I can understand if your having probs with the baby and your not feeling well but it still gives you no right to be rude to my parents. And i feel like my dad gave her the perfect opportunity to retract her comments when he asked her to repeat it to my mother. right then and there she should of realized what she said was inconsiderate and reworded it.

 

But it's done now. i still havent talked to my bro. I plan on calling him soon, i just hold grudges sometimes. But i'm going to stop being stubborn and call him. I want to see the baby!!!

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Awww congrats! I am sorry to hear what Bro & SIL put you through and you were right and they are completely wrong for what they did. I hope everything gets better especially because of the baby!! Good luck!

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I haven't posted here yet, but I've been following it. I'm glad things worked out with your paretns and their new grandson, but I wish you mom told her "NO" at least the first time they asked her to babysit LOL

 

I guess i'm like you...I hold grudges :)

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ok, as someone that just had a baby (first grandchild for my parents also) i have to say your SIL handled it very poorly...also, even if there was an issue your brother should have been the one to talk to your parents.

 

i totally understand the bonding part, etc. but you need to make the rules consistent for everyone or feelings are going to get hurt.

 

i hate to say it but it sounds like SIL has issues with your parents...does she perceive them as being too pushy, bossy, noisy, etc.? i only ask because my parents are totally that way but even so i would still never treat them like that..

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I'm glad it got smoothed over. I tend to hold grudges too. My best friend didn't want anyone in the room at all! Just her husband well his family (which is huge) were all in there running around holding the baby, didn't give her any time at all. Her family (and I) respected her wishes and gave her the first day alone. Even when her DH family was running around causing havoc never did she get rude. She did call me and vent about it but she knew deep down it was because they were so damn excited. I hope this was a wakeup call to your SIL that she isn't going to get away with treating your parents bad.

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