Is this rude

[karahmia]

That's totally inconsiderate. She will need your mother very soon in the coming days and weeks and she should only hope your Mom is the mature one and let's it all go. As for your brother, I really think he needs to have a convo with his wife, not for your Mom sake but for his as well or he's always going to feel stuck in middle. As the Olsen twins would say "How rude!!"

[caroline]

I haven't even gotten through the first page and all I can say is... "oh" (with deflation) That is so, so sad. I actually started this thread earlier on tonight and my blood was boiling! Utter disrespect... =(

 

And even if I really didn't like FIs parents (which thank God! I do... lovely people - who are SO much like my own parents) I would NEVER, ever do something so distasteful!

 

Telling her own parents and not yours?! (ie: the parents of the FATHER of the baby?!) As someone else said, they have every much a right as "grandparents" as her own parents...

 

It really upset me to read this post and my heart breaks for your parents. Well out of order... but your brother is a whole other story and whole other situation... tsk! tsk! What a pussy! "We" had a very similar situation in our family (though not quite as cutting as yours) and it caused some havoc between sibling (mine) and partner (his)

 

It's a no-win either way... I wish you luck... and will offer up a prayer for your parents. They sound like they have been such good people through all of it. Ugh! Poor, poor people... =(

[Opice34]

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry! Maybe she's crazy hormonal or something, but holy cow that baby is so blessed to have an incredibly loving extended family! A lot of children do not have nearly that many people who want to love and hug it! And I'm sad that SIL hasn't recognized what a wonderful event this is for your family as well. Grandbabies are a big deal!

 

I'm sorry! Hopefully her behavior will improve once she settles into motherhood a bit...

[caroline]

"... she doesn't want anyone coming to visit who can't help her with the baby (MIL is going through chemo and is weak a lot of the time)." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!! OMG! I am repulsed! (back to reading... and my blood boiling...)

 

D&D... I just read the part about your brother being 29 and her being 35... and I got it... =(

I'm no psycho-analyst... but me thinks this is definately a case of her asserting herself and letting ALL involved know their place (your brother included) I'm hoping your parents have the where-with-all to tell her to go and whistle-dixie when she comes knocking on their door for assistance... and she will. Guarenteed...

[Karen]

Your poor parents!!! I can not stand it when people use life events such as having a baby or getting married as an excuse to be a self centered Diva (or Divo). And the bonding excuse......pullllllease! The child willbe living with a raised by her and her husband right? Plenty of time for bonding. I can understand calling ahead and not overwhelming a new mom. But your SIL should be thankful that she has such a wonderful family who loves her child. Some people have no one in their lives. Hope she your bro wake up soon. BTW Congrats Auntie!!!

[Jessica]

Danielle... let me just say you have the most awesome FI. What a caring guy. Now that is a man!!!

[wayneswifey]

SMDH IMO your sil is a real .

How can you not bond with your baby? How can someone holding your baby slow your bonding process. She will have her baby for the rest of her life. When I had Elijah we were happy that people wanted to come share our joy. My only request was that people wash their hands before holding the baby.

Even when the lactation expert came in I only asked the men to leave. As women we all have the same parts. Anyway nursing a baby is natural not sexual. We videotaped me nursing the 1st time. I feel so sorry for your mom. I bet when you and your husband have a baby she will be the 1st person to say that your mom is showing favortism. It's almost like they are using your mom. My MOH did not pay for my shower my friends did. My group of friends always get together and host each others baby showers.

For some reason this has really ticked me off.

[Celina]

Wow Danielle, how sad. My heart aches for your mom. Your SIL is a you know what. That bonding story is a bunch of BS and she knows it! I had my son at 11pm and didn't hold him till 9am the next morning! Oh whatever! Your brother needs to step in NOW and get his wife in check!

 

She should not be able to use that precious baby as a pawn. Your parents sound SO lovely and she should be lucky and fortunate to have such caring in-laws. Tell your parents not to back off. That is their 1st grandbaby and they NEED to be in it's life. She is making a HUGE mistake in pushing them away. All she is creating is animosity between herself, her family, her friends and your family. Nothing good will come out of this if it isn't snipped in the bud right now.

 

Tell your bro to get his balls out of her purse and step up. Just because she is older than him does not make her wiser!

[DanielleNDerek]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wayneswifey I bet when you and your husband have a baby she will be the 1st person to say that your mom is showing favortism.

I just said the same thing to my mom, that when i have a baby i know that i'll prob have my mom and fi's mom over a lot. esp since i'm clueless and wouldn't have a clue what to do with a baby! i'm sure sil and my bro will be like "hey your always with Danielle's baby, you never did that with Roman (that's babys name btw).

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoontobeMrsE Tell your bro to get his balls out of her purse and step up. Just because she is older than him does not make her wiser!

I love that...balls out of her purse. lol I think she's being really immature and my bro is being a tool!

Quote:

Originally Posted by redheaney I'm no psycho-analyst... but me thinks this is definately a case of her asserting herself and letting ALL involved know their place (your brother included) I'm hoping your parents have the where-with-all to tell her to go and whistle-dixie when she comes knocking on their door for assistance... and she will. Guarenteed...

I know they'll be calling my mom for help this summer. esp when my bro goes back to work and my mom has the summer off. I kinda want my mom to say no, at least for a little while till they beg her to help them. Let them stew a little in regret.

[DanielleNDerek]

Thanks girls for all the support for me and my parents.

 

I never got to announce how happy i was to be an aunt, even if i won't be able to see the kid till its 1st bday part j/k.

 

Baby's name is Roman. He was born 6lbs 6oz and 19 inch longs. Here's a pics:

 

 

***Update on the situation*** My parents are just going to wait to hear from them. they have a place in the mountains and they figured they wouldn't be able to see the baby anyway. And didn't really want to see my bro and his wife so they went away for weekend.