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Is it worth it to have a bridal party?


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#11 Nrvsbride

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    Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:44 PM

    I think having a bridal party is fun and it gives you some kind of moral support. I would love to have a bridal party. That being said, my friends are nothing but drama (my wonderful sister included) and for me it would turn into a headache.

    Just wanted to share a cultural thing that I think is so cute and if anyone is Persian feel free to jump in here:

    One of my friends is Persian and she got married a year ago. She told me that in her culture the BM's don't get asked until a date very close to the wedding. So even though friends kind of know that they will be asked, they won't know until that specific date. So each friend works super hard throughout the planning process to show the bride what a great friend she is by being super helpful and hosting an array of parties for the bride. The bride feels spoiled and stress free so that aspect is great.

    Then finally the bride announces who she would like to be her BM's. Each BM wears the dress that they were planning to wear all along to the wedding. So there are no BM dresses, which I also think is great b/c then you don't make people spend money on dresses they may not like.

    So I went to this wedding and each girl was wearing a different colored dress and they all looked beautiful. I guess they spoke amongst themselves and made sure not to wear the same color and/or dress. I loved everything about that wedding.

    #12 ACDCDCAC

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    Posted 06 June 2008 - 04:54 PM

    i wish i was persian
    that does sound lovely :)

    all but one of mine are under 13 yrs old, so it's been pretty stress free for the most part. BUT the part i am regretting is just asking only my BFF and my 3 girl cousins who are all adults, and have been like sisters to me. i sort of wish i had only had those 4 ladies and dougs daughter, instead of all little girls.

    #13 rodent

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      Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:12 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by Nrvsbride
      So I went to this wedding and each girl was wearing a different colored dress and they all looked beautiful. I guess they spoke amongst themselves and made sure not to wear the same color and/or dress. I loved everything about that wedding.
      This is what I would have done if I had BMs. I was going to pick some bright colors & then let the girls pick their color. They would get a solid color dress in their color or any style. I do sort of miss the fun of seeing how that looked. I feel like it would have shown all the girls individuality.

      I like being a BM & supporting the bride, but I don't enjoy buying the dress. It's my least favorite part of being a BM. It's not fun like shopping for a new dress is & it's always way more money than I spend on clothes.

      #14 Nrvsbride

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        Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:16 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Morgan
        This is what I would have done if I had BMs. I was going to pick some bright colors & then let the girls pick their color. They would get a solid color dress in their color or any style. I do sort of miss the fun of seeing how that looked. I feel like it would have shown all the girls individuality.

        I like being a BM & supporting the bride, but I don't enjoy buying the dress. It's my least favorite part of being a BM. It's not fun like shopping for a new dress is & it's always way more money than I spend on clothes.
        Me too Morgan! I just paid $300 for a BM dress and when I get it altered it will cost even more. Plus the bride wants us to get shoes and get them dyed. Ugggh so annoying!

        #15 Jessica

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          Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:24 PM

          No advice. Just wanted to say I didn't have a bridal party and honestly am glad. There really was no stress in planning my wedding. The actual planning part for me was a breeze because I didn't really have to take a bridal party into consideration.

          #16 Birdie07

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            Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:25 PM

            I didn't have a bridal party. I only had both sets of parents and my DH's cousin come. While I am happy I didn't have the stress of picking dresses I did feel very alone on my wedding day. I got my hair done ALONE, did my makeup ALONE, my MIL came and helped me with my dress. My mom's plane was cancelled so she made it late and we had to stall the wedding. I felt a bit hurt b/c I was MOH and BM's for my sisters wedding and they didn't come to mine. But oh well. I had GF's say they were coming but they didn't. So I do wish I had some girls to help me get ready but I'm glad I didn't have the stress of gifts and dresses.

            #17 rodent

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              Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:27 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Nrvsbride
              Me too Morgan! I just paid $300 for a BM dress and when I get it altered it will cost even more. Plus the bride wants us to get shoes and get them dyed. Ugggh so annoying!
              Yikes! I've never had to spend that much. I could imagine being a BM in NYC would be more expensive. I'm the kind of girl who likes to spend $20 on a dress, so these $100 & $200 BM dresses do stress me out. I only spent $200 on my wedding dress. I go along with it, but it would make me happy if that wasn't part of the whole BM thing. I love the time before the wedding when we are all getting ready together, I like posing for silly pictures, I like helping with projects & decorating, & I like being there for the bride to vent about whatever problems she is having. I just don't like buying the dress. I say no to matching shoes. It's in my BM contract. I will do whatever my friend needs, but I'm picking out my own shoes. I'll wear a dress I look ugly in, but I'm not wearing shoes that are not comfortable.

              #18 Alyssa

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                Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:27 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Morgan
                interesting responses. I do think it's a individual case decision, but it's still great to hear others perspectives.

                I'm hoping some girls hang out with me while I get ready, but I'm leaving it up to them. if they want to be at the pool or beach thats fine with me. I doubt I'll end up getting ready alone the whole time. Someone is bound to want to hang out :)
                Morgan,
                Why don't you invite them to hang with you?
                Even though i have 6 girls in my bridal party who will be there with me the day of the wedding, i have 3 other really close friends that are part of that group that will be there - i invited them to hang with me and the girls and get ready - they were so honored!

                my wedding day will be crazy...

                Bride
                MTOH
                MOH
                4 BM's
                3 good friends
                1 M-O-Bride
                1 FMIL
                hair and makeup

                HAHAHAHA

                i am going to order lunch and champagne for everyone :)

                #19 blkladylaw

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                  Posted 06 June 2008 - 05:36 PM

                  I'm not. My 3 close girlfriends have all been providing advice and going to look at places with me, they are shower planning now, etc. They have no official title or anything they are like sisters to me and are just doing what they would have done anyway without a title and special dress. They won't be standing next to me but sitting right in front of me front row and center. They've been there with me every step of the way through the 20s and 30s and will be there on Sept. 5th as well. I don't really think it is necessary and I think it would have just added more things for me to worry about. I plan to give them something at the wedding to show my appreciation.
                  ___________
                  Wed 9/5/08 at Lake Las Vegas Chapel Fiorenza with yacht cruise reception on the La Contessa and party the next night in VIP section at Club Poetry at Caesars Palace. Stayed at the Ritz at the Lake and checked into the Trump hotel on the strip after our reception.
                  Our first baby (a...

                  #20 Nrvsbride

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                    Posted 06 June 2008 - 06:02 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Morgan
                    Yikes! I've never had to spend that much. I could imagine being a BM in NYC would be more expensive. I'm the kind of girl who likes to spend $20 on a dress, so these $100 & $200 BM dresses do stress me out. I only spent $200 on my wedding dress. I go along with it, but it would make me happy if that wasn't part of the whole BM thing. I love the time before the wedding when we are all getting ready together, I like posing for silly pictures, I like helping with projects & decorating, & I like being there for the bride to vent about whatever problems she is having. I just don't like buying the dress. I say no to matching shoes. It's in my BM contract. I will do whatever my friend needs, but I'm picking out my own shoes. I'll wear a dress I look ugly in, but I'm not wearing shoes that are not comfortable.
                    See you are such a good friend. You are all I could ever ask for in a BM. Someone who will take silly pics and be there for me while I get ready. Unfortunately in the world I live in being a BM means spending a small fortune. I hate dyeable shoes! Hate them!




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