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rodent

Is it worth it to have a bridal party?

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I had zero trouble with my 2 BM's. They found their own dresses, asked if I cared what their shoes/hair/makeup looked like, and put together an amazing shower/bach party. I didn't have to hound them to do anything. That said, I didn't care what they wore, what their shoes/hair looked like, etc. These two are the closest thing I have to sisters and I really wanted them to be a part of the day.

 

My DH didn't have anyone because he didn't want to pick between his friends.

 

I think it depends on who you are picking. I knew from the start these two wouldn't add drama. If you think they might then I'd say it's not worth it.

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Originally Posted by Alyssa View Post
!

my wedding day will be crazy...

Bride
MTOH
MOH
4 BM's
3 good friends
1 M-O-Bride
1 FMIL
hair and makeup
I had-
Bride
MOH
BM
M-O-Bride
Groom
BM
BM's girlfriend
Hair & Makeup

AND IT WAS CRAZY.

I have no advice really. I think having a bridal party is really just personal preference. I'm sure the people who asked their good friends to be part of their wedding fesitivities didn't realize they would go ape-shit crazy. smile67.gif

I would however like to see BM's wear dresses they like and less matchy matchy so they don't have to buy shoes, accessories and such. I would also like to see bridal parties responsibilities decreased. I love my friends and I would LOVE to help them out with anything and everything, but I hate that it's expected. It becomes more of a "chore" rather than doing a good act for your friend.

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I've been married twice. My first wedding was a traditional wedding. I had a maid of honor, matron of honor, and two bridesmaids. It was overall a good experiance and my girls helped me a great deal. There was a little drama but not much.

 

Jay and I had a private wedding for two last year. No bridal party. Just us.

Overall I didn't really miss having a bridal party. Maybe because I already went through it before. I loved that it was just the two of us and that it was so initimate. Our wedding planning was easy and pretty much stress free because there was less to manage. One of my best friends treated me to a spa day and lunch in lieu of a shower. And another of my friends threw me a bachelorette party. I really didn't feel like I missed anything.

 

My advice is do what you feel. It really up to you. But whatever you do, communicate your expectations to your girls regarding their duties. Some girls know they will be everything from a dressing asst. to a psychotherapist. Others think they will just be showing up in a pretty dress. Be clear. Also be clear about expenses. Being a brides maid is expensive. I spent a thousand each time I was a brides maid. But i loved both brides and knew what I was in for up front. And lastly keep in mind, this is the biggest day of YOUR life not theirs. They have their own lives too. So be understanding if they can't jump when you want them to.

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We're not having a bridal party & I really don't think we're missing out by not having one. Our wedding is also going to be really small (20 people max), so we really didn't see the point. It's all about your preference.

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As of right now we are having a bridal party... kind of... I am having my bf as moh and my fsil as bm (wow that's like secret code!). Ron doesn't know what he wants to do yet... might just have his dad as bm and my bro as gm or my bro as bm- they are really close... he can't decide.

 

I'm hoping for no stress, but we'll see... at least I know that all of those people are definitely making the trip.

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Originally Posted by Rachelle E. View Post
I agree it's probably up to the individual. But also, I think you need to know your friends and be realistic about what you expect from them.
Absolutely! You'll already know how they will behave throughout the process. It's a matter of deciding if it would be a blessing or a burden to involve them. It is a blast with the right people!

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Originally Posted by LC_Rachel View Post
I had-
Bride
MOH
BM
M-O-Bride
Groom
BM
BM's girlfriend
Hair & Makeup

AND IT WAS CRAZY.

I have no advice really. I think having a bridal party is really just personal preference. I'm sure the people who asked their good friends to be part of their wedding fesitivities didn't realize they would go ape-shit crazy. smile67.gif

I would however like to see BM's wear dresses they like and less matchy matchy so they don't have to buy shoes, accessories and such. I would also like to see bridal parties responsibilities decreased. I love my friends and I would LOVE to help them out with anything and everything, but I hate that it's expected. It becomes more of a "chore" rather than doing a good act for your friend.
I totally agree Rachel - I have been a BM a couple times and it sucks being dressed up like a corny barbie doll to make someone else happy.

I picked out the Victoria's Secret 7 in 1 dress in Teal so all the girls could wear them differently and be themselves - they are cheap too. Also, i told them to wear their hair, nails and makeup however they want. wear shoes or don't - i don't care and wear whatever jewelry they want. i just want them there by my side and i want them to be comfortable and able to enjoy everything!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyssa View Post
my wedding day will be crazy...

Bride
MTOH
MOH
4 BM's
3 good friends
1 M-O-Bride
1 FMIL
hair and makeup

HAHAHAHA
Quote:
Originally Posted by LC_Rachel View Post
I had-
Bride
MOH
BM
M-O-Bride
Groom
BM
BM's girlfriend
Hair & Makeup

AND IT WAS CRAZY.

I would however like to see BM's wear dresses they like and less matchy matchy so they don't have to buy shoes, accessories and such. I would also like to see bridal parties responsibilities decreased. I love my friends and I would LOVE to help them out with anything and everything, but I hate that it's expected. It becomes more of a "chore" rather than doing a good act for your friend.
on the wedding day i have:

bride - pro hair only
MTOH-best friend from college - pro hair only
BM-friend - pro hair only
BM-FSIL - pro hair AND makeup (can we say diva?)
s-mom of the bride - just there for the fun
mother of the groom - pro makeup only

i would really like to limit it, i think any more than me plus 5 people in my suite is going to make me have an anxiety attack. however that being said, there are 2 friends that if they show up, i would be happy to have join us for champagne and makeup.

and rach, i agree, i hate matchy matchy. i told my BM's : listen, here's the color i'd like you to wear. i dont care what shoes you wear (though you should prolly wear sandals without heels because the ceremony is on the sand) and i dont care how you do your hair or makeup. i ordered custom made earrings for each of them as a gift. it turns out that the MTOH and BM are both my sorority sisters from college and wound up choosing the same dress! haha. they asked me if i minded and wanted one of them to pick a different cut, and i was like hell no, whatever floats your boat! so we've got 2 halter dresses and a v-neck/v-back dress. the only other thing theyll have in common other than loving me (haha) and the dress color, is the earrings i am giving them as a gift.


THIS IS GREAT ADVICE KAREN --- I WISH MORE BRIDES WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS:
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky k72 View Post
My advice is do what you feel. It really up to you. But whatever you do, communicate your expectations to your girls regarding their duties. Some girls know they will be everything from a dressing asst. to a psychotherapist. Others think they will just be showing up in a pretty dress. Be clear. Also be clear about expenses. Being a brides maid is expensive. I spent a thousand each time I was a brides maid. But i loved both brides and knew what I was in for up front. And lastly keep in mind, this is the biggest day of YOUR life not theirs. They have their own lives too. So be understanding if they can't jump when you want them to.

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