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Vent: Wedding party woes....

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#1 seaprincess

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    Posted 06 June 2008 - 01:38 PM

    So, this week has been a bit tough for my FI and I because 2 bombs have been dropped on us, that although we should be happy for these people, we can't help but be bummed for ourselves.

    First off, I have a MOH and a BM, my two closest friends in the world. My BM lives in Edmonton (other side of the country from Ottawa) where she just moved last fall. So a little difficult coordinating certain things such as BM dresses and such, but not the end of the world b/c it means so much to me that she'll be there with us on our wedding day. My MOH lives in Ottawa, but she told me last week that she will be most likely moving in October to follow her BF out west to Vancouver when he gets placed there for work. She is excited, but I can't help feeling like it's really going to make the last few months before the wedding very lonely and stressful without my best friend in the world right there to help. Especially b/c she is a Project manager by nature and is taking her role as MOH very, very seriously...requesting that we have formal meetings to sort out all the to-do's...she makes me laugh, because that is sooo not in my nature to stress over it. So this started it.

    Then 2 days later, my FI bestman finds out his GF is preggers (major surprise, and totally unplanned) and she's due at the end of January aka during our wedding week....So, he won't be making it, although my man is hoping the dates are wrong, and she'll be due earlier so that his best man can still make it...so bummer #2.

    Then this week, we've had a couple of our close friends tell us they probably won't be able to be there, even though they had originally told us they were, b/c of various reasons which are understandable, but still dissapointing....

    We knew that when we decided on a DW (which I always wanted to do) that some people weren't going to be there, and that some people would say they would be there will later tell us they couldn't...but it still sucks when there are people that mean alot aren't able to come....

    I'm sure I'm not alone, and everyone has probably encountered this sort of thing, but it still sucks...

    We are blessed to be having alot of family coming which is great, so it will still be an amazing celebration. Which brings me to the fact that my father has told me that he won't be there either...this happened about 2 months ago though...

    He told me that he can't afford to bring his family so he won't be able to make it. His family consists of the woman he married 6 months ago (3rd marriage by the way), which I was told about 1 week before the day and obviously went cause its my dad, and her 4 kids and my 1/2 sister from his second marriage (she's 10 years old)...we'll guess what, I don't need 'his family' there, just mine...aka him and my sis. My brother told him just that and he was speachless...

    We haved a strained relationship because of the way he chooses to live his life, but I would have still wanted him to be there....his loss I guess...

    Anyways, thanks for listening to this incredibly long rant....I feel better.
    Lindsay and Jamie - January 28, 2009

    #2 amandalovesryan

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      Posted 06 June 2008 - 01:44 PM

      i feel for you! a lot of my friends did not come to the wedding. and then the crappy thing is some of them did not even call to ask how it went! some of them i emailed my pics to and got no response! WTF!
      your dad should realize that he needs to be there and he does not need to drag the whole clan with him! good luck! maybe you should try talking to him?
      My favorite type of vacation, a relaxing one!


      #3 sarahbrown1979

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        Posted 06 June 2008 - 02:04 PM

        Keep you chin up and remember that your wedding day is ultimately about you and your FI! I'm so sorry so many people won't be able to be there, but focus on the people that will be able to attend.

        #4 Hartyt509

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          Posted 06 June 2008 - 02:17 PM

          Its hard but it happens I originally had about 35 people say they would come to mine its down to about 7 lmao

          My dad won't be there but thats because he lives the other side of the world so just can't make it, FI's mother just re-married and he apparently HAS to come we can't stand him lmao

          So really you're lucky you won't have to put up with his "tribe" and you can relax, you'll be fine just take a deep breath tell him he's a prat and you'll feel so much better x

          #5 DanielleNDerek

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            Posted 06 June 2008 - 02:19 PM

            i'm sure you moh will still do a great job even if she's far away. she'll just do it a little differently, no formal meetings but more phone calls and emails.

            It's a bummer your fi last his bestman but it's really great he's having a baby.

            And your dad should of tried to come. i'm really glad that you had such a great brother that told your dad how it was. i hope your dad will come to his senses and realize that this is one of the (if not the) most important day of your life and he will be missing it.
            ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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            #6 seaprincess

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              Posted 06 June 2008 - 02:34 PM

              Thanks guys...I appreciate the positivety. I do have an amazing brother, and because we've been through the same experience with my father, we have an incredible bond. I wish I could talk to my dad, but I'm so hurt that I don't have any desire to communicate with him right now. I need a bit more time and we'll see what happens closer to the date.

              We are happy for my FI best man, but he's is major shock and they aren't in a position to bring a baby in the world today, so alot will be changing for them in the next 8 months...it is blessing, he just doesn't know it yet....his GF was born to be a mom, in fact, we took a trip one time and I jokingly called her 'mom' the whole week b/c she was super prepared and even brought us healthy snacks on the plane - hahaha.
              Lindsay and Jamie - January 28, 2009

              #7 Chiquita

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              • 2,674 posts

                Posted 06 June 2008 - 03:08 PM

                I feel for ya. Our best man just opted out of our wedding for the exact same reason! His wife became unexpectedly preggers (they weren't planning to have a baby until next year) so they aren't coming now. Hopefully your dad can figure out how important this is to you and get his ass to your wedding.. good for your bro :)

                #8 RyanAmanda

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                  Posted 06 June 2008 - 03:28 PM

                  I know exactly how you feel! We originally had an 'at home' wedding that we cancelled to have a DW. FH had 6 groomsmen - of those 6 only 2 are coming to our wedding. One has no reason for not coming (he has the money, etc.), one just hasn't given us an answer and the other two aren't coming because they can't afford to come with their wifes. Maybe it's just me but if one of my best friends - someone who I had known since I was a baby - was getting married and we couldn't afford for both of us to go, I would go without FH. Nothing would make me miss a best friend's wedding.

                  As for family, we're paying for FH's parents to come because otherwise they won't come. So on top of trying to work out everything, we know need to come up with another three grand.

                  The thing that brightens my day is the fact that there are people who are coming - and they're willing to spend 3 grand a couple just to see us get married.

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