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Problem with bridesmaid

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46 replies to this topic

#21 EricaG

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    Posted 04 June 2008 - 04:12 PM

    I agree with ending the friendship. She obviously feels the same way if she has already threatened to do so. I think that she just wanted to be acknowledged by having you ask her to be a bridesmaid, without really caring about the position itself.

    Unfortunatly, weddings are one of those things that can make you realize who your friends really are. Sorry for your stress, but don't worry about the backlash from others, as this is between the two of you! Get her out of the wedding!
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    #22 Copita

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      Posted 04 June 2008 - 04:28 PM

      Originally Posted by Lagen
      She said, "I'm hurt that you weren't excited for me".

      So, now the drama continues......I was called manipulative in attempting to get her to go shopping. She also called me a bully and verbally abusive.

      And, instead of calling me to tell me this she IMed my fiance and told all of this to him - she's met him 3 times. So, now I'm pissed that she was so socially inapprorpaite as to say negative things about me to him and cause triangulation. UGH!

      And after I told her it would be very inappropriate to contact Todd again like that she said she would anyways because it made her fel better, despite irritating me. DRAMA!!!

      Perhaps because she said yeseterday she was going to terminate the friendship if it weren't for my fiance........I'm not sure why his words are so powerful to her?!?!
      Oh my word. Please re-read everything that you wrote, and I highlighted, what were to me, the parts that showcase that woman as a complete psycho. She seriously sounds like a sociopath. Me, Me, Me.
      First, It's not ABOUT her. It's YOUR wedding so she is the one who's supposed to be excited FOR YOU, not the other way around. And how on EARTH were you manipulating her when all you asked was for her to go and find a dress that fit, after she threw a temper tantrum a million times before?
      Seriously, I do not know this chick and really really really want to throw a stapler at her foot. LOL.
      Her IMing YOUR FI to talk smack about you IS completely inappropriate and furthermore, THREATENING YOU that the only reason she didn't terminate her friendship with you was over something that you FI said, is the bottom line/dealbreaker for me. I wouldn't have let her say another word past that.
      Tell her, You know, I thought a lot about what you said, about terminating our friendship, and it may just be the best thing at this point.
      She sounds like a ungrateful, self-absorbed, impertinent dumbass. Sorry, but it's true.
      She will try to ruin your wedding day, I bet. Cut her off now!

      #23 jajajaja

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        Posted 04 June 2008 - 07:01 PM

        I think she is just a vile, distructive person. Can you say good things about her? Or honestly, is this how she is? I would really take time to sit down and consider why you are even friends with her to begin with.
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        #24 stacey


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          Posted 04 June 2008 - 07:10 PM

          [QUOTE=Lagen;408323] And, instead of calling me to tell me this she IMed my fiance and told all of this to him - she's met him 3 times. So, now I'm pissed that she was so socially inapprorpaite as to say negative things about me to him and cause triangulation. UGH! .[/QUOTE]

          You need to get rid of her. If she has only met your FI, 3 times why the hell is she contacting him to vent about you. FUCK that, who the hell does she think she is making it into a threesome problem? This is the man you are going to marry.. If she was really your freind she would never contact him to bitch about you. Is she trying to get the two of you to fight? It kinda sounds like she is after your man. Tell her to stick her med school books up her ass, and let her go!!!!!
          Stacey & Ely 10.14.2008

          #25 caroline

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            Posted 04 June 2008 - 07:16 PM

            Yikes! With friends like that, who needs enemies?!! I'd be giving her the opt out option - and forcing her to take it!

            Just finished up reading your follow-up and am horrified! IMing your FI and she's only met him 3 times?! WTF is up with that?! That's WAY shady! And totally inappropriate! Nip that shit in the bud!

            I'm going to sound like a complete bitch here, but I hope you make the choice to cut her out of the wedding (and your life) and am keeping my fingers crossed that SHE paid for her own BM dress...

            #26 shellb

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              Posted 04 June 2008 - 07:26 PM

              I totally agree with what everyone else is saying.

              Some people are poison. Friends should enrich your life and add to it, not take away and attempt to destroy, be mean, spiteful, and manipulative. There's a deeper issue going on for her that you probably are not aware of.

              It's like the saying goes..."People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime"... I think you have to figure out which one it is when it comes to her. I'm betting on "reason".

              #27 Davematthews16

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                Posted 04 June 2008 - 07:29 PM

                CAN HER ASS!!!!! (oops did I just say that) Seriously, too much drama to even worry about!

                #28 Maura


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                Posted 04 June 2008 - 08:02 PM

                I'm sorry but...


                she does not care about your friendship. she violated the rules by talking to your fiance over IM, and after you said it made you uncomfortable she said she didnt care. i would think as a person with education in psychology, that is all the info you need to know.

                she is a total complete BITCH. you need to "terminate" your relationship with her immediately and let her know shes not wanted as part of the bridal party anymore. PLEASE i urge you to reread your own story of what you posted how the events transpired, HOW IN THE WORLD COULD YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT STAYING FRIENDS WITH A "SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY" LIKE THAT?

                i do not use the C word often, my friends, but i think in this case, it most DEFINITELY applies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                #29 Yari

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                  Posted 04 June 2008 - 08:17 PM

                  CAN HER ARSE! OMG, she is a total bitch. WTF, IM'ing your FI? That is inappropriate. She only cares about herself. Who needs a friend like that.

                  Hey, perhaps you can get the dress from her and give it to one of your BM's.

                  #30 antonia321

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                    Posted 04 June 2008 - 10:03 PM

                    wow. i think i got stressed out just by READING this thread!

                    I do not know the history of your friendship with your BM and how you came to chose your BMs. I am not really one to complain about BMs as I had four and they were wonderful.

                    But I do have two very close childhood friends, one is in med school and the other doing their residency. Both are completely stressed out, cranky from lack of sleep and proper nutrition from 36 hour rotations in different hospitals, getting 20 minutes of sleep at a time. I know they love me to death but it would have been definitely hard for me to get to do much. Only one of them could even make it to my wedding, so I felt lucky for that while the other called me so guilty at the very last moment saying she couldn't come.

                    Wedding planning is stressful for EVERYONE. My mom and my sister got into a HUGE fight one afternoon about wedding planning. It was actually over something very stupid now that I think about it. My dad got involved, my sister's boyfriend, then me and the drama got bigger over something so small. Its an emotional time. But at the same time, my mom didn't disown my sister. Everyone got over it and the wedding was awesome.

                    remember STRESS + STRESS = MESS

                    I think its really important to vent, which is what is great about this forum. And let me tell you, if I had discovered it soon rather than 3 months before my wedding, you would have heard every story!

                    I am in no place to judge or give advice but I guess I would be sad to lose a good girlfriend, if that is what she is, since they are so rare. And a future doctor friend at that for samples and advice!!! LOL!

                    Good luck!

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