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Lagen

Problem with bridesmaid

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Originally Posted by Lagen View Post
And, today I learned that she is going through all kinds of medical problems. SHe's lost 2/3 of her hair and her thyroid has stopped functioning. So, I'm sure her stress level is high. While this does NOT excuse everything, I am human and want to take that into account. Our health plays a huge role on our emotions and ability to functioning. So, perhaps I should re-evaluate the situation and talk to her some more. ANd, perhaps she's freaking out about being a bit bald in the pictures?!?! Maybe she really doesn't feel comfortable being in the wedding with what's going on in her life
Don't mean to sound hard or callous, (but I am lol) but so what everyone has horrible shit to deal with - she needs to deal with and stop being a total twat to you - its also not an excuse for being an arsehole!! my mum had to have a kidney transplant and was ill for years she never took it out on anyone once!!

Do yourself a favour and cut her off she is going to end up being a thorn in your side fencing.gif

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I hope that everything works out for her healthwise, but I still think that you should give her the out. After all, you did say that she has always been difficult, and her stress from school & health problems doesn't excuse her from IM-ing your FI like that. If you want to still give her a chance to get through her own things, I would tell her that she is more than welcome to come to the wedding, but as a guest. That way there isn't the added stress of the wedding taking a toll on her, you, your FI or anyone else involved in the wedding. That is my 2-bits.

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honestly, i agree.... let her go. your moh should care. Not only that if she has made a comment of possibly not wanting to be in the wedding she doesn't deserve and obviously shouldn't be your MOH. Your MOH is supposed to be helping you... not stressing you out!

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Originally Posted by Hartyt509 View Post
Don't mean to sound hard or callous, (but I am lol) but so what everyone has horrible shit to deal with - she needs to deal with and stop being a total twat to you - its also not an excuse for being an arsehole!! my mum had to have a kidney transplant and was ill for years she never took it out on anyone once!!

Do yourself a favour and cut her off she is going to end up being a thorn in your side fencing.gif
OMG, you said twat! I seriously love you.

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Originally Posted by PDXlove View Post
OMG, you said twat! I seriously love you.
LMAO is this another language barrier thing lol its not really a swear word over hear lmao

Before I get a deluge of people saying how inappropriate that word is it isn't in my country lol and I apologise if I offended anyone pmsl smile124.gif

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Originally Posted by ethrondson View Post
I hope that everything works out for her healthwise, but I still think that you should give her the out. After all, you did say that she has always been difficult, and her stress from school & health problems doesn't excuse her from IM-ing your FI like that. If you want to still give her a chance to get through her own things, I would tell her that she is more than welcome to come to the wedding, but as a guest. That way there isn't the added stress of the wedding taking a toll on her, you, your FI or anyone else involved in the wedding. That is my 2-bits.
I agree!

And I must add- I've known some people who have gone through some really stressful situations- like you hope it never happens to you situations. They were NEVER horrible like that. I don't care if your left leg fell off- it doesn't give a person the right to treat everyone horribly. Granted, I know people in extremely stressful situations might bite your head off a time or two. But this is so much more than that. She is being vindictive- that takes some planning and some forethought. IMO, this is not something you can chalk up to "stress."

Only you can decide how much you want to put up with and where you will draw the line. But I really hope you consider pushing her aside for awhile to deal with your own stressors. She obviously isn't capable right now of being a good friend.

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Oh, Lagen... I feel awful for you. I know that you want to be a good frined... and understanding and compassionate. But this is one of THE major events in your lifetime. It is stressful in and of itself... without everyone elses drama added onto it. As someone else said, I'd give her the out and still let her attend the wedding (if you so choose) but she obviously (at least, it seems somewhat obvious to me) isn't in a position to be a part (in the proper sense) of all of this. She may have too much on her plate. Or, she may just be a 'see you next Tuesday...' wink.gif

 

WHY are you friends with her, BTW? I'm very curious about that... What is it that she brings to the table exactly?

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