Problem with bridesmaid
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:25 PM
My solution was to have the MOH overnight her dress to the bridesmaid and have her go shopping to find something of similar color, and possibly style. First the birdesmaid refused to have the dress mailed to her - didn't want to be responsible for it. Then she refused to go shopping and try dresses on. She said, "You go shopping and buy whatever you want me to wear and bring it to Mexico. I really don't care what I wear or what you choose. It's not important to me". I guess this is the problem. I want her to care! And, second....we all know how hard it is to shop for ourseleves, let alone another person. So, I'm not sure how she expected me to pick a dress that would fit her perfect w/o the option for alterations? I was really hurt by this. She kept demanding that I do the leg work. I offerred to find dresses in a store near her and then for her to drive to the store to try it on and she said, "I'll have to see how i feel about doing that. I just don't think it's my responsibility."
To her defense she is in medical school and is very busy. However, I'm also busy planning a wedding and doing a lot of DIY projects. Plus, isn't the role of a BM and/or MOH to help when there is stress like this? Thank goodness for my other BM and MOH ....they were shopping and calling the Watters and Watters Headquarters within minutes.
Ok, feedback please. I know the story is missing details....but am I out of line here? Would you be upset? She thinks I'm bridezilla for designating the job of finding her own dress?!?!?
Honesty please! Our friendship rides on it. I'm frustrated and she thinks I'm being narcissistic and told my fiance today that she doesn't know if she wants to be in the wedding?
Thanks in advance!
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:29 PM
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:35 PM
| Originally Posted by Yari |
I am going to be blunt here...get rid of her now! You don't need extra baggage weighing you down. If she is not honored to be in your wedding then she doesn't deserve to be in it period.
trust me when i say let her go. you can still be friends, but give her the option to bow out gracefully -- tell her you understand she's busy, and you dont have time to screw around tracking stuff down. if she cant fulfill her BM duties, tell her you still love her, and are sorry she cant manage her schedule to help out with her end of the planning (which is really to just get a fricking dress that fits, come on how hard is that?).
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:36 PM
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:57 PM
What's with her not wanting to try on dresses? Maybe ask her if she still wants to be a bridesmaid? Is she doing to be involved in your shower or any projects? If not, what's the point of her being in your wedding party. She could just be there to witness and celebrate with you as a guest. Maybe she's regretting saying yes with everything else going on in her life?
Don't let her stress you.. (I know, easier said than done!)
Posted 02 June 2008 - 06:58 PM
I appreciate the feedback. I think I will give her an "out" if she wants it. Her responses make me feel that she doesn't want to be part of it. And the funny thing is.....she kepy asking about being a BM until I finally made her one. So, she appeared to want it really bad in the beginning?!?!?! Just doens't make sense.
Thanks again for the feedback!
Posted 02 June 2008 - 07:28 PM
Posted 02 June 2008 - 09:30 PM
Posted 02 June 2008 - 09:51 PM
One thing I've truly learned since planning my own wedding is that most people don't share your passion and people whom you thought were "good" friends end up disappointing you. I have stopped asking my bridesmaids to help me with things and not because I think they won't I just would rather save myself the disappointment of them giving a litany of excuses of why they can't. You really find out who your friends are when you ask them to be apart of your wedding!
Posted 02 June 2008 - 11:23 PM
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