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Are you coming or what?

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#1 beyondsmitten

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    Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:18 AM

    Anyone else having this issue, guests who don't return the reply cards! Etiquette says that you are to respond to a written reply card within 4 days of receipt. Of the 60 invites I have sent I have received 6 replies! (One is my mother) Sure people have told me they are coming, when do they plan on letting me know with the reply card. A verbal response does not replace the reply card!!! Whatever, I will have to call each one myself! In addtion to calling the YES replies to ask them what entree, when are they arriving and if they will attend the welcome dinner!= me & my guests!

    Has anyone (everyone!) faced the same frustration with this? They have had them un-sent so long now the price of stamps went up!

    #2 Debs

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      Posted 02 June 2008 - 12:43 AM

      Been there, done that sister!

      Seems with a DW people don't think it's a 'formal' wedding so they don't need to reply? Bizarre but true.

      #3 Copita

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        Posted 02 June 2008 - 10:09 AM

        Let me tell you, that of the 48 people who have already BOOKED their packages, only THREE of them sent me a response card back. LOL. My wedding is in a month and my 'deadline' is 7/14. At this rate, I seriously doubt I will get more than 2 more back. LOL. And we anticipate about 10 or 15 more people because some are flying in from Europe and some live right in the Caribbean & are booking from the island. Crazy. :)

        #4 Christine

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        Posted 02 June 2008 - 10:17 AM

        do you have a website, we had a lot of people RSVP on the website, also did you put a deadline on it. Honestly I have never heard of responding within 4 days and who really knows proper wedding etiquette, except a current bride and Emily Post?
        Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

        #5 Maura


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        Posted 02 June 2008 - 10:19 AM

        first you should know that nobody who is a wedding guest follows proper etiquette of returning the card within 4 days. second, because your invitations were sent out so far in advance for a jan 2009 wedding, im betting that people dont necessarily know whether they can come yet (i.e. at my job, i cant put in for time off in 2009 until december of 200. to those who told you they were coming but did not submit the official reply card, let them know with a phone call that youre excited theyre coming but they havent returned the reply card with their meal selection and you need that by X date. to those who havent responded at all, put a note up on the home page of your wedding website reminding people that if they plan to attend they must return the reply card with their meal selection.

        I'm guessing you have quite some time before you actually have to give the caterer a firm headcount... looks like you may have to send out a reminder for RSVP closer to the time you actually have to give a firm headcount - i'd say 6-8 weeks prior. then anyone you dont hear from gets a phone call after that.

        #6 Copita

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          Posted 02 June 2008 - 10:22 AM

          Originally Posted by Maura
          first you should know that nobody who is a wedding guest follows proper etiquette of returning the card within 4 days. .
          Amen to that! LOL :)

          #7 LCBride2007


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            Posted 02 June 2008 - 11:15 AM

            this isn't a traditional wedding - keep in mind that not many people can commit to an international trip within 4 days of finding out about it! i wouldn't expect RSVPs that fast, IMHO. usually you put an RSVP deadline on the invite, and it's usually weeks, if not months (for a DW). what was your deadline?

            #8 Alyssa

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              Posted 02 June 2008 - 11:32 AM

              When did you send out your invites?

              #9 Jen_S

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                Posted 07 June 2008 - 06:41 PM

                o so this is what i have to look forward to. LOL sorry your dealing with it.
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                #10 Taradactyle

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                  Posted 07 June 2008 - 06:55 PM

                  I've never heard of the 4-day rule, but yes, some people have been bad about sending in their RSVPs. The 4-day rule might be harder to follow with a DW though because most people will have to request time off from work, get their finances together, before they commit. I've had a ton of guest list issues myself so I understand... hang in there!
                  Tara & Patrick

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