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26 replies to this topic

#11 KarmaB

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    Posted 01 June 2008 - 11:57 AM

    I totally agree. I feel like it's a little out of line for her to ask you to move your dream wedding to a whole other country!! If ROR is where you want to get married than you should stand your ground. I chose a more expensive hotel in Ocho Rios, and in turn NONE of our guests are staying at the hotel. Yes, it sucks a little because we are having to spend a ton for them to be at our reception, but we choose to suck it up because we wanted the wedding of our dreams at this particular hotel. Other people told us to change all the time too, but in the end it's about what you want not them!

    I don't think you should take back your invitation for her to be your MOH, just let her know that your decision has been made and you hope that she finds a way to make it to Jamaica!

    #12 jajajaja

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      Posted 01 June 2008 - 12:01 PM

      I have not read other responses but this is what I would do.

      Tell her that you are getting married at ROR. If she can't make it, you understand but there shouldn't be any other discussion beyond that. It's your and your fiances top priority to get married at ROR and it's a bonus if others can join you. Remind her that it's not about her.
      Happily married since 2008

      #13 adias.angel

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        Posted 01 June 2008 - 12:12 PM

        If her only problem is price and the fact she seems internet savy, give her the option of staying a different place in Jamaica, finding her own flights, etc. That way she can afford it and you still have your MOH....

        #14 raquelmaddox1

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          Posted 01 June 2008 - 01:21 PM

          I am currently in kind of the same situation, except that a good friend of mine (she is not my MOH, but is one of my best high school friends and have known each other since 1993!!), is giving me grief! I'm planning a wedding in DR at Paradisus Punta Cana next April. I was originally going to do a different hotel in Jamaica that was very reasonable in price, but something inside of me knew that it wasn't what I wanted. I was originally concerned with the amount of money everyone would have to pay, and wanted to be considerate. Then I found Paradisus, and for a few hundred dollars more per person, my guests would ejoying a luxuriuos vacation! I figured it was worth it, and the hotel had EVERYTHING I wanted in terms of wedding options. So all of my friends are down for the trip, and this one girl is giving me such a headache...she is basically complaining about the cost. I told her, if you think about it, its the same amount of money that i would be spending on your wedding (she is getting married a few months after me). You are saving $350 on a bridesmaids dress that you will never wear again, I dont expect gifts so there is another $300-400 bucks, i am giving up an away bachelorette party, so there is $1000, etc...and best of all -- YOU GET A VACATION OUT OF IT! Anyway, she is asking about only staying 2 nights (friday to sunday) so she can save money. I tried relaying to her that flying on friday is the most expensive, so that doesnt make any sense. She also looked online to compare prices of other hotels! and said that it sux my hotel is double the prices of other hotels...ugh sorry for the long response but im P.O. TOO!!!!!!!
          Part of me doesnt even want her to come anymore, why can't she be like my other friends who are super excited? Oh, and did I point out, my friend still lives at home with her parents and that daddy would be paying for her whole trip?? Not sure what all the fuss is about......... UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

          #15 ~*petals*~

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            Posted 01 June 2008 - 04:17 PM

            Originally Posted by adias.angel
            If her only problem is price and the fact she seems internet savy, give her the option of staying a different place in Jamaica, finding her own flights, etc. That way she can afford it and you still have your MOH....
            I agree- if she really wants to go, tell her she can make her own travel arrangements and pay for a day-pass to the Riu for the wedding.

            #16 KLC77

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            • 2,207 posts

              Posted 01 June 2008 - 04:29 PM

              I agree with pp that you should tell her you really want her there, but understand that the DW might make it so she is unable to attend. It sounds like maybe she has realized that it is more than she can afford and instead of backing out she wanted to explore some other options. If its possible, maybe you can contribute some $ toward her trip so she can attend and feel comfortable with what she has to spend. Either way I would sit down with her and explain that you have already made final decisions and find out what her concerns are.

              Our Awesome Wedding Pics: http://www.delsolpho...ings/kelly&ron/

              #17 Ericka7885

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              • 63 posts

                Posted 01 June 2008 - 05:53 PM

                Yes the thing that really pushed me over the edge was asking me to move it to another country! I will be sure to pint out that she could stay at a different hotel and I will pay for her day pass. It's just frustrating because most of my other friends are super excited and I feel like she's just being really negative. It really ruined my whole mood because I was so excited when I finally got everything worked out. I guess you just can't please everyone right!!

                #18 sarahbrown1979

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                • 90 posts

                  Posted 01 June 2008 - 06:11 PM

                  You can't please everyone now and you won't be able to in the future. My best friend didn't come to my DW and I went through the same frustrations during the planning process. In the end, I'm glad she didn't come because I would have spent the whole time worrying about her. I think she would've been critical of everything (hotel, wedding, etc) since she felt "forced" to go.

                  #19 Maura


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                  Posted 01 June 2008 - 06:22 PM

                  let me start by saying i didnt read the responses above mine.

                  sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but your friend is a bitch!

                  she has no right to tell you what to do or where to have your wedding. if she thinks jamaica is too pricey thats tough shit! you need to stand up to her and tell her "while i appreciate your opinions, my FI and i have chosen to get married in jamaica. if you are not able to join us, we'll be sad, but we'll understand." you need to give her a gracious opportunity to exit your wedding party. she has some serious balls trying to come back to you with different dates and places... whose wedding is it anyway

                  listen, you are not the first, nor are you the last to lose a MOH or a bridesmaid around here. trust me when i say it is not worth the stress she is going to cause you if you keep her in the wedding party. the planning process needs to be as stress-free as possible when it comes to things you can control. if she is causing you stress, cut her loose.

                  #20 Martha

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                    Posted 01 June 2008 - 07:53 PM

                    She doesn't have to stay that long....what if she just goes for 3 or 4 nights?

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