Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:00 PM
I completely realize that this post doesn't really pertain to destination weddings on their own, but am really hoping people can offer me some advice or relate to some of the problems I've been having with my inlaws lately.
My fiancee and I are both teachers, so it was absolutely necessary to get married in July or August (unless we asked guests to pay way more money over Christmas or March Break)...we chose July. This is where all of our problems began--my FFIL had a fit that he would have to go down when it is "ridiculously hot". My fiancee is an only child and I thought my FFIL would be much more excited about their only son's wedding. Since we announced our engagement, things have only gotten worse...when we came over to show his parents my ring...they were in the middle of watching TV and didn't really take any interest in anything we were saying...we spent too much money on our house, we shouldn't renovate anything in our house since we have no money (which as announced at Thanksgiving dinner)...they don't understand why we sent invitations out (why did we waste our money??)...in other words we are just incredibly irresponsible with our money...and to top everything off last night we went over there to tell them about the things we had bought for the wedding (our bands, my fiancee's suit) and before I could explain what either of these looked like or how happy we were about them we were told that my FFIL is NOT wearing a suit to our wedding and that they don't think they should have to get dressed up. I feel like everything I say, suggest, or try to talk to them just turns around to how stupid we are with our money and why are we wasting it. It's gotten to the point that I don't even want to go over there/have them over...because I feel like absolute garbage when we leave. I feel it is really starting to cause a rift between my fiancee and I as well.
Sorry for the long post---but I'm hoping someone out there can relate or at least offer some advice!
Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:09 PM
Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:12 PM
Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:16 PM
Dreams Los Cabos
June 28, 2007
Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:18 PM
Posted 04 February 2007 - 03:23 PM
Posted 04 February 2007 - 04:09 PM
a) Try my best to not tell them about plans for spending money.
Try to figure out where they are coming from. It sounds like maybe they may have had a hard time with money and maybe they don't want to see you go down that path. Or...maybe someone else has not been financially responsible and then relied on the them (the parents) to bail them out. I know it's not really their business as long as the two of you are not being a burden on them, but maybe you could reassure them that you are indeed being financially responsible and not burning up the credit cards, etc.
Posted 04 February 2007 - 04:13 PM
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Posted 04 February 2007 - 04:29 PM
Money is such a touchy subject too. I'd try cutting off all ties to their knowledge on where and how you spend your money. They are lookiing out for you... but they need to focus more on your wedding and celebration of your love rather than putting all their visits focussed on your bad (their opinion) spending. This is YOUR and FH'S wedding, no one elses. Don't cater to everyone's needs or wants; because you may end up on the verge of a break down.
My opinion is vent to your friends not your FH about your future in-laws, don't tell your future in-laws about your money and where it's going, and surround yourself with positive people who will enjoy planning your wedding with you and give you valuble input.
Posted 04 February 2007 - 05:26 PM
I agree with the advice of the others who say just stop sharing your decisions with them. If they aren't going to be supportive then they don't need to know.
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