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Marriage before children?

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45 replies to this topic

#11 jajajaja

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    Posted 28 May 2008 - 05:58 PM

    Oh and to add, if we got pregnant prior to that, it wouldn't have been a big deal. I would have been 26/27 and him 30/31. At that point in our life, we were more than ready to have a baby.
    Happily married since 2008

    #12 ErinB


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      Posted 28 May 2008 - 06:01 PM

      Rachel - that is too funny! FI can't stand that he is 30 with no kids. I told him we had to be married for a year before we had a baby, so he think's he'll never be a dad.

      His parents (were nuts) and had all 3 boys on top of one another. Seriously at one point they had 3 UNDER 3! and they were both under 25!

      The thought of have that many kids right now makes my head hurt!

      #13 Hartyt509

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        Posted 28 May 2008 - 06:03 PM

        Its funny because I'm not bothered if I got pregnant before we got married either lol the only thing that would piss me off would be that I'd have to get married here and then a blessing in Mexico as they won't marry you if you're pregnant apparently lol - i reckon that might be crap however lmao

        By the time I get married I'll be 36 kicking 37 and trust me I'm thinking hmm that might be a wee bit too late lol

        #14 jamisoncollette

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          Posted 28 May 2008 - 09:49 PM

          I don't think the norm has changed though the media would have us think everyone has children and then a wedding. I also was told I would never have children due to having only one fallopian tube/ovary (surgery when I was nine). So I used bc, but irregularly and ended up pregnant. Was it my ideal, no but I don't regret it. I'm just thrilled that I do have a child and will be getting married, not to her father, but to a man who has old fashioned ideals very similar to mine. We want more children and will be trying as soon as the honeymoon begins.

          #15 Bride010101

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            Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:29 PM

            I am old fashioned and wanted to wait until I was married. Plus I know that I am no where near ready to support a child right now... its tough now that many friends are having them because I love kids! We'll see how the cards fall... but I have told my FI from the beginning that I want kids before I am 30. (no clue where that number came from... but its stuck in my head hehe)

            #16 kevsgirl

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              Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:43 PM

              I guess FI and I are in the "old fashioned" club too. We both want to get married first. BUT, if we were to get pregnant (not really possible now b/c of on bc) I think we'd both be so ecstatic that it would be fine.

              BTW, congrats, Martha, on your pregnancy! I love the way you say that nothing else matters because you are over the moon with it. I think I'd be the same way,were it to happen.

              I wanted to have kids before 30, but this year has come and gone! LOL! We plan on starting to try seriously... (ha ha!) right before the wedding.

              #17 CJEB

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                Posted 29 May 2008 - 04:02 PM

                congratulations Martha, a dream come true.

                I guess lots of us take our fertility for granted. I wish you all the best.

                #18 AmandaR

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                  Posted 29 May 2008 - 08:05 PM

                  When we were dating, DH and I weren't sure we even wanted kids, but when we got engaged I started using 30 as my benchmark bc it gives us time to be a married couple. Well, now that we've been married just over a week I've got the baby bug - BAD, and think that 4.5 years is too long to wait! I need to decided if the baby bug is just me feeling lost and needing another project since wedding planning is over, or if it's the real deal. Hmmmm, I think we need to babysit our 1 year old niece again to test this out!


                  #19 EricaG

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                    Posted 30 May 2008 - 06:13 PM

                    Well I am one of a few on this thread, but that is alright. FI and I have 2 kids together and our wedding is 6 months from today! Our daughter was not planned though, and I had her during my last year of nursing school. Then we decided to try and have another one when our friends were trying, so we went to Cuba for their DW and well...now we have our little guy. We would still like to have one more, but I said that would have to wait until we were married. Might as well have one of them the 'old fashioned way'. LOL
                    I don't really think that most people are starting families before getting married now, but I think it is happening more often because it is so excepted now a days. It isn't really uncommon for families with common-law parents anymore. Either way, it all depends on works for you. After all, kids are so amazing, and you really have no idea at all until you have your own! They are a blessing!
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                    #20 wayneswifey

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                      Posted 30 May 2008 - 10:49 PM

                      Well me and my FI took all precautions to avoid pregnancy but Elijah is here. I love every minute with him.
                      I guess it wasn't a big deal because we have finished college, own our home, and are able to support ourselves.
                      I actually hope to get pregnant with our 2nd child on our honeymoon.

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