Need advice...

[Jacqueline]

Yeah if Beth isn't a best friend of yours, I agree with the rest of the girsl...def stay out of it. You're intentions might be good ones but it could back fire. And like they mentioned, you haven't seen it with your own eyes..

 

This is a shame and I hate when I hear men (or women for that matter) doing this.

[JennyK]

I think we all have the same opinion in staying out of it. She's not your BFF or anything and although girls should look out for girls, this is something that's Bob's responsibility to correct, not yours or FI. Yea it sucks, but unless Bob blatantly does something in front of you.. just keep quiet.

[jajajaja]

I can offer some reassurance- our (now) good friends had to been together for about a year (They have since been together for like 5 years). Anyways, the guy was friends with my DH and I had met the girl through him. We did things occasionally with them, but she and I were not BFF. The guy would constantly flirt with other girls when she was not around- in front of me too! I would get so pissed because I felt like an accomplice.

 

One time we went camping and the girlfriend couldn't make it and he tried to invite another girl. I put my foot down with that one and told my DH that I would not go camping if he allowed his friend to bring another girl without his current girlfriend knowing. Needless to say, he came alone.

 

Fast forward 5 years, they are the HAPPIEST couple. They arne't engaged yet, but I foresee it coming soon. I really like both of them A LOT. If he were to start doing douche baggy stuff again, I would totally tell her now. But back then, I knew him better than her since he was DH's good friend. I think he just went through a stage and couldn't really accept he was off the market. Maybe Bob is having the same issue.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel I can offer some reassurance- our (now) good friends had to been together for about a year (They have since been together for like 5 years). Anyways, the guy was friends with my DH and I had met the girl through him. We did things occasionally with them, but she and I were not BFF. The guy would constantly flirt with other girls when she was not around- in front of me too! I would get so pissed because I felt like an accomplice. One time we went camping and the girlfriend couldn't make it and he tried to invite another girl. I put my foot down with that one and told my DH that I would not go camping if he allowed his friend to bring another girl without his current girlfriend knowing. Needless to say, he came alone. Fast forward 5 years, they are the HAPPIEST couple. They arne't engaged yet, but I foresee it coming soon. I really like both of them A LOT. If he were to start doing douche baggy stuff again, I would totally tell her now. But back then, I knew him better than her since he was DH's good friend. I think he just went through a stage and couldn't really accept he was off the market. Maybe Bob is having the same issue.

Yeah, I think that may be what it is... He is 22 and all his friends are still out partying and living it up and I think because he has been in this relationship for almost five years he feels like he is missing something. So, he is either fabricating these stories or living out the slighly cheating life to feel like he is still part of the crowd. Maybe hanging out with Fi will help though because Fi would NEVER allow it if he were arounnd. He really likes Beth and knows how good Bob has it.
You girls have really made me feel better about this. Beth and I are becoming really close with the boys out of town we hang out a lot. I hope this all works out. I don't want her to find out anything and know that I knew and didn't tell her ya know? SIGH

[Hartyt509]

I agree stay well out of it because even if its true you'll get the brunt of the anger.

 

Unless you see something with your own eyes I never believe it.

 

I've got a really good friend that flirts but would never do anything about it - I think it makes him feel younger and that he can still pull lol

 

So my advice have a memory lapse that you ever had the convo with FI lmao

[Kat81]

So, to make matters worse.....

Beth just stopped by my work and she looked really sad. She brought me my favorite drink and said she was just running around and thought of me so she decided to bring me a drink. Said Bob was supposed to come home last night just like my FI did but he was too tired and stayed up there until this morning. UGH!!! I just want to cry. I am talking to my Fi tonight about all this crap. Either he needs to talk to Bob or I am going to beat his ass (bobs not Fi) I wonder if she was hinting around trying to find out if I knew anything. Kinda odd when my FI comes home and her DH was supposed to then doesn't until this morning.

[DanielleNDerek]

that is shady of bob. Does Beth usually just stop by your work like that? maybe she senses some bad vibes from bob.

[Kat81]

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanielleNDerek that is shady of bob. Does Beth usually just stop by your work like that? maybe she senses some bad vibes from bob.

No she doesn't. I think she was wondering if I knew why he didn't come home last night. I'm soooo trying to stay out of it.

[Yari]

Oh no, now she is asking you directly. Definitely talk to your FI about this. Bob needs a serious talking too.

[jajajaja]

In this situation, I wouldn't tell all. I would pretend that you don't know any other details (at this point, FI is the only person that could tell her that you knew about Bob's bad behavior). I would counsel her just like I would a normal friend. I would be like "really? He didn't come home? THat's weird because FI came home. I would talk to Bob about it and see what he says." You don't have to confess, but I wouldn't convince her that he's not a cheater either.