Best Man Outfit - bought without our input!
Posted 27 May 2008 - 11:44 AM
Well, a couple of days ago, the wife of the best man calls and tells me she bought a shirt for her husband to wear!
Ok, i am really not trying to be a bridezilla, but is this reasonable? We haven't even chosen the GROOM'S outfit yet! So we went over there the day before yesterday, and while it is a very nice shirt, it's not what i had in mind. I want the men to wear white linen shirts and this one is a nice stiff cotton. Now, if FI wears linen and the best man wears this shirt, FI will look like a rumpled slob next to him!
So, now it seems like if i say 'no, you can't wear that' i am being a spoiled brat... but i don't feel like we should have to choose my FI's outfit based on what the best man wants to wear. When he got married and Jon was his best man, Jon chose an outfit to complement the groom. Isn't that the way it is supposed to go, NOT the other way round?
What should i do? How do you tactfully tell a friend - "Sorry, but it's our wedding and we chose XYZ for the men to wear..." I'm really upset about this, but the FI says don't worrry, it will all work itself out, but i just don't know.
Posted 27 May 2008 - 11:47 AM
I would let her know that while you like the shirt, you haven't decided on the bridal parties outfits yet. Hello- I'm sure you don't have BM dresses yet so how could you have the men's outfits done. Just ask if she can return it.
Posted 27 May 2008 - 11:49 AM
Posted 27 May 2008 - 11:52 AM
Posted 27 May 2008 - 11:58 AM
Is there any chance your FI could have told her they were going to wear white and maybe she ran with it? Either way, I agree that it would probably be best if he handles it.
Posted 27 May 2008 - 12:08 PM
i'm not sure how FI will handle it, since he is REALLY not good at dealing with conflict... I suppose he will discuss it with the Best Man, and then her husband is going to have to reel her in. (I don't think the BM cares one way or the other... He is just excited to be going to MX!)
Posted 27 May 2008 - 12:13 PM
Posted 27 May 2008 - 12:15 PM
If you don't think that your FI will handle it well, just talk to the BM yourself. Tell him that as much as you like the shirt his wife purchased, you hadn't quite figured out what the men were going to wear & you don't want to hurt his wife's feelings. Men are usually much more understanding (& care less! lol) so maybe by talking to him, he can talk to his wife!
I hope it all goes well for you!
Posted 27 May 2008 - 12:21 PM
I hope this helps!
Posted 27 May 2008 - 12:37 PM
i'll have FI discuss it w/ the BM (both the shirt AND the fact that she wants to wear a white dress!) and see how it goes from there. He knows that his wife can get a bit carried away with things, so he can probably be a bit more effective in dealing with her.
I am not really known for my tact on a good day, and lately, a lot of little things are starting to get to me. I guess because we are the last of our group of friends to get married, everyone wants to give advice on how THEY did it. I know that they mean well, but, i attended most of those weddings, and while they were perfectly lovely, they weren't our style for the most part. So i just want to say "you already had YOUR wedding, now let us have ours!"
Part of why we wanted a DW was so we didn't have to deal with all the drama - but i guess there will always be drama no matter what you do!
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