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MOH is no longer coming to my wedding!

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#11 sn2bski

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    Posted 23 May 2008 - 12:21 AM

    Ugh! I'm almost surprised she didn't text me!
    Thanks for all the love and advice ladies! I've been so depressed about this all week! I'm going to ask my two younger sisters (my other BM's) if they would like to share the MOH duties. I should've done this from the start!

    #12 Hartyt509

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      Posted 23 May 2008 - 12:38 AM

      Hindsight is a wonderful thing thought and if you thought she would do this then you wouldn't have asked her.

      I've just sacked my MOH and since I did not heard a word from her lol

      Weddings bring out the worst in people, rest assured its not just you

      #13 azhuskergirl

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        Posted 23 May 2008 - 09:40 AM

        Originally Posted by Yari
        That is so inconsiderate. She was obviously scared to tell you on the phone or in person. So not right!
        I think she was probably too scared to tell you in person. It doesn't make it right to do it via email, but perhaps that was the only way she could get the courage to do it. I am so sorry. She clearly doesn't understand what this decision has put you through.

        #14 DanielleNDerek

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          Posted 23 May 2008 - 09:51 AM

          I agree with azhuskergirl, she probably was too scared to tell you in person so she took the easy way out with the email. This way she wouldn't have to face you. I'm sure she feels bad and she's trying to make it right by wanting to help with the pre-wedding events. Her reasoning for not going is a little shadey though.
          ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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          #15 Yvette

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            Posted 23 May 2008 - 09:55 AM

            oh, I am so sorry. I agree with Danielle, have someone else fill the role & try to stay happy. I know it's hard but don't let this bring you down. I'm sure everything will work out in the end.

            #16 sn2bski

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              Posted 23 May 2008 - 09:55 AM

              I'm sure she was scared to tell me-I would be if I were in her situation-but I get no emotion from an email and it left me confused. So I'm going to email her back and tell her to call me whenever she is ready to talk. I'm mad and my feelings are hurt but she is supposedly my best friend.

              #17 twinkletoes

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                Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:04 AM

                I feel your pain! My MOH just bailed on me as welll via email. It really sucks. Especially when its someone so close to you. But the wedding must go on, lol I guess as long as my FI shows up, I'll live and so will you. Keep your head up :~)

                2 Hearts, 1 Love 08.08.08Punta Cana, D.R.

                #18 caroline

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                  Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:11 AM

                  Yikes! I just do not understand this at all! I can't imagine ANY friend of mine doing such a thing... and if they did? They wouldn't fall in that bracket of "friend!" That is unbelievable!

                  So sorry, sn2bski... =( I'd be majorly PO'd & she'd know about it!

                  #19 nikkianddean

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                    Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:34 AM

                    [QUOTE=sn2bski;389639]I don't think I will ask anyone else. I'll just have my sisters (my other BM's) split the MOH duties. QUOTE]

                    I think you're making the right decision there. I am sorry that this happened

                    Mr. & Mrs. C
                    February 14, 2009

                    #20 SunBride

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                      Posted 28 May 2008 - 10:49 AM

                      I understand what you're going through, I had a similar situation with my maid of honour although at least I knew from the beginning she probalby wasn't coming. But she has been my best friends since we were 5! We have grown apart though in the past few years because I moved away for university and now live in another city. She never would have done this to me a few years ago. Anyways, she had her excuses which were semi reasonable and semi lame. Our wedding was the week before she had a few assignments due, but the thing is she goes to a very small university/college which we always joke is a like a continuation of high school (small community, everybody from like 2-3 high schools goes there) and so they know their professors so well and get extensions all the time on their assignments using the lamest excuses, we always laugh about it and I think it is ridiculous compared to my university where you needed a really good excuse to get an extension or something. So I'm sure if she had told them she had to go to mexico to be a maid of honour in a wedding they would have given her extensions on her projects (or seeing as she had several months notice she could have worked her ass off getting them done in advance). I think what it really came down to is that her and her boyfriend didn't want to spend their money to come on vacation with our families. I know they had the budget for the trip, after all they had planned on going on a one week all inclusive vacation a few months earlier but their trip was canceled last minute when their flight was changed and the new flight didn't work with their schedule. So they had planned money for that and never went (and got it refunded), so my wedding would have been the perfect substitute trip.

                      So yeah, I was pretty disappointed but I knew she was flaking on me, but at least it's not like she dropped on a bomb on me (like you), I pretty much knew from the moment I got engaged that she wasn't coming.

                      it also bothered me that she couldn't at least have contributed some way to my wedding day or done something, anything, to let me know she was thinkign of me that day. All I got was an email a few days before (not even on my actual wedding day) Some other friends/family members did the same thing and I found that disappointed. A written message, little gift, having prepared a toast and asking somebody else to say it, even just an email on the actual wedding day (I got a few emails the few days before but I don't think any the actual day, and I went to check at the resort specifically for that reason) any special gesture would have really been appreciated.

                      oops, sorry to have made this all about me. Was just trying to say I know where you are coming from! This type of shit seems to happen a lot with weddings.

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