MOH is no longer coming to my wedding!

[sn2bski]

And she told me in an email! Wow! I'm pretty upset! I've been friends with her since we were 4 and considered her to be like a sister. Her reasoning is that so many things are up the air right now regarding her job situation. She sells farmland but has been going back to school to get her masters in marketing. She will still be in school when we get married but apparently she is looking for another job right now. I don't really understand because her situation hasn't changed (from what I know) since I asked her to be in my wedding. I know that going to Mexico is a lot to ask but I fully thought she could handle it! Money doesn't seem to be the issue-its more like her being able to get the time off, being in training, or traveling for this job that she doesn't even have yet! Kinda seems like an excuse...I don't know. She said that if the situation changed a few months down the line that she would still buy the bridesmaid dress and come I don't quite get it! FI was furious when I told him, probably didn't help that I called him crying!

[JulieG]

I can't believe her, that is not news you tell someone in an email. I had an issue with one of my BM's stepping down pretty late in the game, she already ordered the dress and everything, but I ended up asking someone else and I am so glad I did because she did a great job and was honoured to be asked and it worked out great.

 

Is there someone else you can ask, I bet they will do a better job because they will WANT to be there, instead of giving you a lame excuse.

[Christine]

oh I am so sorry, that really sucks. People have no idea how much emotion goes into a wedding, that is until its their wedding.

[sn2bski]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JulieG I can't believe her, that is not news you tell someone in an email. I had an issue with one of my BM's stepping down pretty late in the game, she already ordered the dress and everything, but I ended up asking someone else and I am so glad I did because she did a great job and was honoured to be asked and it worked out great. Is there someone else you can ask, I bet they will do a better job because they will WANT to be there, instead of giving you a lame excuse.

I don't think I will ask anyone else. I'll just have my sisters (my other BM's) split the MOH duties. She did say she would still plan my shower and bach party. I don't know how I feel about that yet!

[JulieG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sn2bski I don't think I will ask anyone else. I'll just have my sisters (my other BM's) split the MOH duties. She did say she would still plan my shower and bach party. I don't know how I feel about that yet!

Personally I would not want her to plan anything, I would want her to be there, but I would not want her to plan it. If she does not care enough to be there without giving you a good reason AND, told you over email, then I don't think she will put as much effort into the planning as your sisters would. That is just my opinion though.

[Danielle]

Does she still intend on participating in the pre wedding events? You seem to have it together; you should maybe name another MOH and stay in good spirits. Just think you will be the future MRS whether she is there or not.

If her friendship is important to you I would still keep her involved in the pre and or post wedding events. I understand her situation, but I am in law school and had to purchase a dress, help plan a bridal shower, bachelorette party etc, all while in school (on a researchers salary). I would never have missed one of my best friend’s weddings, and I was just a maid.

Keep your head up and determine how important she is to you and whether your love is being reciprocated.

[LadyCheese]

wow, I'm so sorry to hear that!! I agree with Christine, people have no idea how much emotion goes into a wedding until there are planning their own and its unfortunate. Some people say its no big deal, just move on but sometimes it just really hurts. I hope this wont affect your relationship with her. And I agree she shouldnt have dropped a bomb shell like that over an email. I'm dealing with issues with my MOH who hasnt returned my calls/emails in 5 wks, I just feel like she may bail out on me also. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you and FI will be getting married in a beautiful place. feel better soon

[Sandra E.]

I'm so sorry. I know know if people realized that you really put a lot of thought of who you were going to have in your wedding party and they should be honored. I truly do not understand this kind of behavior!

[Yari]

That is so inconsiderate. She was obviously scared to tell you on the phone or in person. So not right!

[Bride010101]

I'm so sorry! My MoH pretty much bailed on me as well... via text message. Some people. Big hugs your way!