You poor thing, this really sucks for you! I think what you did, just cutting her loose,tellin her just forget it, was the best thing you could have done. All her drama is stressing you out and it's not good for you. Because, believe it or not sucky MOH this is YOUR(Hartys) wedding not hers. So selfish, unbelievable! You are way better off w/o her. Asking you to re-arrange your wedding dates to accomodate their schedules...seriously
BTW, I had a somewhat similar situation, although not as bad for sure. When I was calling friends that said they would be there when we got married and that it was in November, one of our guy friends had the nerve to say "well just to let you know I am off the week of Thanksgiving, so that week would work for me" Uh, yeah, he said it, he wanted us to arrange our wedding plans around when HE was off work. People...UGGHH!