I am a bad bride

[A10CalGal]

My MOH has planned a shower for me next Saturday, which is great. I told her I didn't want the traditional boring BS shower that I HATE where you play stupid games and people give you punch bowls & stuff. She's done a great job in that regard: it's a cocktail party and the "games" are minimal. I made it very clear that I am not registering anywhere & if people want to give me gifts, I would just prefer it be something the WANT to give me. Well, now I'm getting all this pressure from people about why I haven't registered, blah, blah, blah. I just don't want to do this now! I'm I awful?

[BEACHBRIDEMA]

No I dont think your awful, but I think its only polite to go through with the shower. I am sure your friend has put alot of time and energy into it. People are just giving you a hard time b/c now they actully have to put thought into a gift.

Sarah

[A10CalGal]

Quote:

Originally Posted by BEACHBRIDEMA No I dont think your awful, but I think its only polite to go through with the shower. I am sure your friend has put alot of time and energy into it. People are just giving you a hard time b/c now they actully have to put thought into a gift. Sarah

Oh, yeah didn't mean I didn't want to go to the shower, I guess I mis-typed. I just want people to be there & have fun, I could really care less about the gift thing. Like I said, if its something you think I should have or want me to have, then great! I just hate telling people what they should get me...and the reality is that at 31 there isn't a whole lot that I "need" other than an affordable home to buy!

[RAENJAY]

You are not a bad bride... I'm sure your guests just want you to be happy with their gifts. I agree, it's hard to know what we want when we already have what we need. I say think of those odd things that you never buy for yourself and maybe give a few suggestions that way.

[Hummingbird]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RAENJAY I say think of those odd things that you never buy for yourself and maybe give a few suggestions that way.

I think that's a good idea. Yes, people should be able to think of gifts on their own, but for some people it can be hard to think of things that you would like. I'm sure they don't want you to have to return a bunch of gifts. I mean, it's hard enough for me to figure out what my whole family would like for Christmas - and they're my family! Maybe think of things around the house that could use replacing or upgrading. (New towels, luxury sheets, etc.) Or, just do a "personal" (ie lingerie, or bath products/perfumes/lotions, etc.) shower - if you are comfortable with that.

[TammyWright]

you aren't a bad bride...i was the same way...i did not register but i also really did not WANT anything.

 

but people want to celebrate your wedding and get you stuff so you are going to need to get over it!

 

most of the gifts i got were fantastic...cute lingerie, gift certificate to spas, but i have to admit maybe i should have given people guidance...like i do not need the gigantic book of pictures taken of naked men is "artistic" poses.

[mexico15]

Even if you don't care about the gift thing...that is what others really like to do for you! Just explain that you didn't want people to be pressured about buying you anything since people are spending money to go away. If people really want to know what they can get you, don't fell bad for giving them ideas...that is what they prefer. Tell them gift cards to home depot, or sears...something you might need for the house. I have told people we really need a washer/dryer, so if they must, we would like gift cards to sears. Just keep in mind...they want to do this for you. It makes some people really happy to do this for you two.

[cariandnick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by A10CALGAL Oh, yeah didn't mean I didn't want to go to the shower, I guess I mis-typed. I just want people to be there & have fun, I could really care less about the gift thing. Like I said, if its something you think I should have or want me to have, then great! I just hate telling people what they should get me...and the reality is that at 31 there isn't a whole lot that I "need" other than an affordable home to buy!

i TOTALLY agree with yhou and i dont think you're a bad bride at all. that's how i feel too - esp since im making them spend so much money to come to the wedding. i dont want them spending any extra money on me. i am just telling everyone not to get me gifts and im not registering either. if they still want to then they have to figure it out. i know that last part sounds a little mean, but what i mean is that hopefully that makes them less likely to get something for me if they really have to put a lot of time and thought into it.

[cariandnick]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mexico15 Even if you don't care about the gift thing...that is what others really like to do for you! Just explain that you didn't want people to be pressured about buying you anything since people are spending money to go away. If people really want to know what they can get you, don't fell bad for giving them ideas...that is what they prefer. Tell them gift cards to home depot, or sears...something you might need for the house. I have told people we really need a washer/dryer, so if they must, we would like gift cards to sears. Just keep in mind...they want to do this for you. It makes some people really happy to do this for you two.

although, thats a good idea too - if people specifically ask you and you say i sincerely dont want anything and they STILL insist on getting you something i think gift cards to places like home depot is a great idea (it will make people like grandparents who may be more likely to want to get something and be more financially equipped to do so feel better about starting your new home)

[A10CalGal]

Thanks girls. I hear what you are all saying. The original thing I said to my MOH was, "yeah, tell people to get me fun stuff like sexy lingerie, bathing suits, stuff like that." I guess I should just say it again...ARGH!!!