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Need mom advice...


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#11 jajajaja

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    Posted 06 May 2008 - 11:57 AM

    This is a really hard situation. Granted if I were in your shoes, I would probably feel the same way since I hold grudges easily. However, I think is a very sticky situation. Someone is going to be upset and I think it would easiest to determine if it's worth upsetting your mom and risking her not coming. I would just consider that risk and determine if you would be happier with your mom there with bf in tow or your mom not there at all.

    Honestly, after going through the whole wedding day emotions, I think you would even forget that the bf is there. I felt like I was floating on a cloud and I was completely oblivious to everything outside of my hubby and I. I highly doubt it would impact your wedding much- unless he's an ass and would make a scene or something. You didn't hint at that though as a problem.
    Happily married since 2008

    #12 stefnicole

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      Posted 06 May 2008 - 12:05 PM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by LC_Rachel
      I highly doubt it would impact your wedding much- unless he's an ass and would make a scene or something. You didn't hint at that though as a problem.
      I don't think he'll make a scene. I visited my mom last summer (first time seeing her in 3 years!) and she kept him away all day. He called her about every 5 minutes, but I never actually saw him. Based on her behavior then, I thought she would understand to keep him away during our wedding. I may be jumping to conclusions about why she's bringing him.

      AAHH!!! This is so hard to decide! I want her there without it being a big issue.

      I mentioned to Bryce that I might just ignore it and let it go, and he vetoed that idea. He wants me to talk to her. I just don't know what to say.

      #13 stacey

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        Posted 06 May 2008 - 12:10 PM

        This situation is hard. But it looks like your wedding isnt for another year, or maybe your mom and the boyfreind will break up. I will keep my fingers crossed for you
        Stacey & Ely 10.14.2008

        #14 stefnicole

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          Posted 06 May 2008 - 12:16 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by sgrimm1
          This situation is hard. But it looks like your wedding isnt for another year, or maybe your mom and the boyfreind will break up. I will keep my fingers crossed for you
          I doubt they'll break up. They've been together for the most of the past decade or so.

          Thanks for the finger crossing though!

          #15 starchild

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            Posted 06 May 2008 - 12:21 PM

            Yeah that's odd, if she kept him away all day while you were visiting why would she elect to bring him to your wedding? Can we cross our fingers that he loses his i.d. the day of his flight and can't board the plane?

            Good luck with the talk and let us know how it goes :)

            #16 townie princess

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              Posted 06 May 2008 - 02:08 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by stefnicole
              So, my mom rsvp'd with her and her boyfriend (who wasn't invited). Now, this guy is the same guy she's been with off and on since I was about 11. I don't particularly care for him. He's the reason my mom had to declare bankruptcy and lost her custody of my brother and I (we moved in with my dad). When she moved a couple years ago, I found out later it was to be with him, but she never told us they were together and I found out by accident over a year later.
              If this guy has bad spending habits like I think he does (and I've got family members like this too), then maybe only your mom can afford to go and you won't have to worry about him!

              Maybe she'll want a holiday from him by that point (she might never come out and admit it, but she might be happy to be away from him for a bit, althought I'm sure his phone bill will get humongeous [sp?])

              Good luck

              #17 stefnicole

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                Posted 08 May 2008 - 10:34 PM

                UPDATE!!!

                So I called my mom, and told her I was having problems with him being at the ceremony. And she was TOTALLY fine with it! She said that it was my day and if I decide that I don't want him there, that's okay, he can just come to the reception. It's so out of character for her...I thought she'd freak and be PO'ed.

                It feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Now I can decide what I want to do and know that there won't be any hurt feelings. Thanks everyone for your advice. It really helped me decide what to do and what to say.

                Right now, I'm feeling generous enough to let him come. After all, he'd only be "banned" from 30 minutes of a 4-5 day trip. And I'll be focusing on Bryce anyway :)

                #18 Yari

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                  Posted 08 May 2008 - 10:43 PM

                  Happy to hear that you talked to your mom about it and come up with a solution.

                  #19 jajajaja

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                    Posted 08 May 2008 - 11:11 PM

                    I'm glad it all worked out!
                    Happily married since 2008

                    #20 becks

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                    Posted 09 May 2008 - 07:37 AM

                    Oh I'm so glad it went well!!!! I'd been checking for an update.

                    Don't you love it when the things that you think are going to be so hard turn out to be easy!!!

                    Congrats!

                    Happily married since 2008

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