BM Asking Etiquette

[alex]

So I have a question about etiquette when it comes to asking someone to be your BM. Well not so much a question, but a story that's open to opinions at the end! lol

 

So my friend has been with her bf for 7 years & just recently got engaged. She's always said that myself & another friend were both going to be MOH because she can't choose between us. So skip forward to her recent engagement. She hasn't offically asked anyone (I don't think she will either) but makes comments like, "do you like this dress?" or "I think you'll look good in this" or "you the creative BM so could you help with (fill in the blank)". She's also commented about myself & the other girl maybe wearing different dresses than the other BM's so we stand out, etc. So I've been assuming I'm still MOH.

Now tonight she goes out for dinner with some of her friends that I don't know, has an awful time & ends up telling a story about some irritating girl asking aboout her wedding so she says something to the effect of So&So is my Matron of Honour & Alex is a bridesmaid (this irritating girl does not like me or the MOH) So she's repeated this story about 10 times now. So, have I been demoted to BM instead of MOH I'm so confused as to what's going on! I want to ask her, but I'm afraid it's rude to come out with "so am I still your MOH?"

HELP! What do you think?!

If she wants me to be a BM instead of MOH, that's fine! I won't be heartbroken, but I think it's a little rude....

I don't know what to think right now!!!

[lilywu@ladhs.org]

well, in my opinion and my personality, I'm pretty straightforward with my friends. So, to me - being a MOH should be someone who can straight out say anything to each other. So, if you're that close to her, I say you should just ask her. If you want to be a little suttle, then start out asking her if she has decided how many bridesmaids she will have and who are they. And just throw in who will be her MOH. you can even make suggestions for the reason you're bringing the subject up is because you think it's a good idea to gather the party and plan little things out like girls days out, showers, etc.

[nikkianddean]

I agree that you should be able to say anything to her as long as you do it in a nice way. I think you should be clear about your role, so you might just ask her to let you know exactly what she expects form you so that everyone is on the same page. The earlier the better!!! Good luck!

[alex]

Okay so apparantly I've been demoted to BM instead of MOH...

Which is fine by me. But she didn't even tell me. & then she told another friend that she "hadn't even really asked me yet" about being MOH.

Blah. Such BS.

[lilywu@ladhs.org]

now that you have that cleared, just relax and don't worry too much....just go with the flow. Less headache for you and $$. =)