BM Vent aka- I'll be wearing orange on my wedding day

[nikkianddean]

WTF!!! So sorry you have to deal with this It's really hard. I know that everyone wants to be included and in the beginning they were probably just so excited to be a part of your wedding - but this is just rediculous!!! you do not deserve this at all!!!

[stefnicole]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LC_Rachel Well crap, I just adviced to make sure they weren't stupid and stand in the wrong order or forget to pack undies. This is WAY beyond stupidity. Here's my problem with people in general. Not just annoying wedding guests and stupid bridal parties. People tend to say "ya sure! I'll be there" but not really stick by what they said. Flakiness is all to common and it's just downright ridiculous. There is no excuse for it. If you saying you are going to do something, then F*ing do it! Unfortunately, the time we get to learn this lesson the hardest is during our weddings. The way people really are becomes apparent really quick! Now, there is a huge difference of telling you first, sure they would like to go and then changing their song a year ahead of time. YOU LEAVE IN A MONTH! I know I wouldn't have $4000 sitting around to cover this expense. I hope you make it well known how much it's costing you because that is ridiculous. At this point, they need to suck it up and whip out their F*ing CC. Sorry- this crap makes me irate. I deal with flakiness all the time from a couple of my friends and at any level, it's not ok. Do what you say you are going to do! Period!

I couldn't have said it better myself!

[currier73]

This is what I would want to do with them. I am so sorry you will have to go through this and it is supposed to be about you. I knew when Paul and I decided to go alone, people would get upset. They have but I really want to go through what you have to deal with right now. Vent as much as you need to, I will definitely listen. That does suck so bad. They should have let you in on this issue a little earlier.

 

Heather

[shellb]

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I can understand why you are upset. Who has 4K lying around last minute when they've already put out so much for the wedding itself...

 

Is there anyone that can talk to them about what a crappy position they have put you in and try to figure out first of all why and then how or what they are going to do to rectify this? Someone that is neutral and won't try to murder them while talking to them. They have to be able to give better reasons, must have saved some money, come on now. Friends don't do that to friends.

 

Have you talked to your TA to see if there is any other solution? Like the 3-4 days the other girls proposed.

 

We're all here for you...

[caroline]

Gosh, don't quite know what to say. I would absolutely hit the roof were I to be left in the lurch like that! Not a nice way for you both to start out... It'd have been one thing if they had said back when, that they couldn't afford it... but to go through the motions and leave you hanging high & dry?! Knowing the costs involved (how could one not when they have been in the planning stages with you) and not being upfront about it... a "friend" just wouldn't do that, IMO. =(

[jmiranda]

R you serious This is so wrong how can they just bail out at the last minute!! Where they thinking they were going for free?? Wow this is just messed up. Iam so sorry that you are going through this especially with your friends since freshmen year. You really need to let them know how you feel because this is just not right. Everything is ready and set to go.

[ACDCDCAC]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ErinB And the bullshit about not knowing how much the trip cost?!?! Neither of them ever said, "Hey, how much is this going to cost?" I told them when I started planning and I asked them to be in the wedding it would be 2000 and I understood if they said no.

obviously this sucks big time. i would be esp livid given that straight away you told them about the cost and that you would understand. i know life throws things at you unexpectedly, but for crying out loud! it sounds as if you were very open with them, telling them the cost and letting them know that you just needed to know if that was ok and if not, you would be ok with it. how rude of them! they should have known you better and expected that it would be ok to tell you a few months ago.

erin this really bites and i'm so upset for you right now. for sure not the kind of stress anyone wants this close, if at all!

[kevsgirl]

OMG this is a nightmare I can't believe what they've done...

 

This is like a wake-up call for me: in a way I've been really upset that one of my best friends said she wasn't going to come, the minute I told her about the wedding, but at least she's up-front about it.

It also re-affirms our decision to just do our own thing and let everyone else piece together their trips. We were goign to go the group route, but FI's family was driving us insane (they already made us change the date once), so we backed away and are now letting everyone else do their own thing.

 

Man oh man. I feel terrible for you. I hope that they step up and figure out a way to pay you back so that you all stay friends and you don't end up paying back their trips for years to come...

[ErinB]

***UPDATE***

 

One BM who is the Maid of Honor (I also have a Matron of Honor that I have had no problems with) is going. She put $1000 on a credit card and is supposedly going to pay us back the rest.

 

The other BM (cousin of MOH) still has not returned a phone call from myself or my mom! It's been nearly 3 weeks! So I told MOH that I had to talk to her ASAP to get this figured out. I told her that I wasn't mad (lie) but that I need an answer one way or another. If she doesn't go, she can still wear the dress to my AHR. If I am going to have to pay for someone to go, I'll be sure it is a member of MY family, one of my aunts, etc. who I know will appreciate it.

[vale]

I'm really sorry you are going through this, we have a similar situation (not quite on your scale though) so know how you feel. I don't know what I can say, just keep on at them to pay the money back, small claims court perhaps (not that you want to go there though).