Need sisterly advice
Posted 05 May 2008 - 05:19 AM
Posted 05 May 2008 - 05:48 AM
Posted 05 May 2008 - 09:40 AM
It sounds like your sister is upset because she thinks she ought to have been invited to be a bridesmaid, not because she affirmatively wants to be one.
I wouldn't extend the invite. Ask her to do a reading, or give her some other role. But it's your wedding and you can decide who is and isn't going to stand up with you.
If you need something to dissuade her interest, remind her of the expense - 1/3 of the bridal shower costs; 1/3 of the bachelorette party costs; her dress; etc. If there was a fuss over your grandmother's will, I'm guessing laying out the expense associated with being a BM might have some impact.
Happily married since 2008
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Posted 05 May 2008 - 09:41 AM
That is my personal opinion, though.
I know we all feel differently about this.
I will say though, that since planning the wedding, we have gotten closer and she has helped me tremendously!
Posted 05 May 2008 - 10:51 AM
Only you know your sister. I would not ask her to do a toast - like redheaney said about being a woman scorned...especially if she has a few drinks...not a good idea IMO.
I say stick with a poem or verse or something and be sure to mention her in your wedding program.
Posted 05 May 2008 - 12:15 PM
I'm also not very close with my sister, we are 5 years apart and we fought a lot our whole lives, now we leave 1000 kilometers apart and only see eachother twice a year and even though we have fun sometimes when I'm visiting, we still blow up at eachother sometimes in a really immature way. Regardless, I did not hesistate in asking her to be my bridesmaid. And she told me over and over again how happy she was that I did and how special it made her feel to have that role.
Who cares if she doesn't do much of the other work often involved with being a bridesmaid and all she does is walk down the aisle and look good in pictures. Again, she is your sister, she should have the honour of being part of the bridal party.
The only reason I would leave her out is if there were very serious issues, like you either don't get along at all / haven't talked in forever, or you are worried about her behaving completely inappropriately.
Posted 05 May 2008 - 12:32 PM
| Originally Posted by Chiquita |
Well in all honesty, I don't think she wanted her b/f to talk to me about it.. he just felt bad for her and wanted to say something on his own. I'm just really surprised she is SO upset about this..
Posted 05 May 2008 - 12:39 PM
Posted 05 May 2008 - 12:43 PM
Posted 03 June 2008 - 06:09 PM
I told her I was sorry she was upset about the whole thing, but just because she's not a BM doesn't mean she's not an important part of the day. And she didn't really have any interest in reading a poem or anything like that, she thought it was like a "consolation prize" for not being a BM. She said it's okay.. she's just more traditional than I am I guess about these things.
Ultimately I think I made the right decision in not asking her. I don't think she's that interested in helping out with anything wedding related.. she just wanted to be a BM because that's what traditionally happens. A DW is not traditional and neither am I and she realizes that.
And just recently FI's best man backed out because his wife is preggers, so he may not have anyone stand up for him. We are waiting to see if another good friend of his books that he wants to ask.. if not, I may make my BM's honorary BM's and not have them walk down the aisle/sand. I know FI is pretty bummed his best man won't be going so it might be better just to have us 2 up there..
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