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Need sisterly advice

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#1 Chiquita

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    Posted 04 May 2008 - 02:31 PM

    Ugh.. I'm not sure what to do. Jayson (FI) and I are having a small wedding party. Jayson may just have 1 best man and that's it.. we are thinking his other GM won't be able to make it. I have picked my 2 best friends since high school to be my BM's. That is pretty much all I can have. Well, a few months ago when I told my sister that my 2 best friends were going to be my BM's, she freaked out that I hadn't even asked her about it at all. I kinda felt bad, but me and my sis aren't even that close. She is five years younger and we have never really gotten along all that well. So fast forward a few months and I thought she had pretty much gotten over it. Well last night at dinner, her boyfriend takes me aside and says he feels like he has to say something about how my sister is still really sad to not be included as a BM. I told him that I had explained to her why, that Jayson would possibly only have 1 person to stand up for him, so it would be really difficult for me to have more than 2. I had also asked her if she would maybe want to be a greeter or something instead, when everyone comes to the beach. I'm trying to keep her a bit involved, just not as a BM. Well she wasn't terribly receptive to do that, she said she didn't want to be an "usher". Sigh. So I don't know what to do.. I feel a bit guilty that she is so sad but I'm so surprised she is taking it this hard considering we haven't been that close. Does anyone have any suggestions about what else she could do that would maybe make her happy? Sorry this is a bit long. :) Any suggestions are appreciated!!

    #2 Dez921714

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      Posted 04 May 2008 - 02:33 PM

      Maybe have her do a reading or read a poem during the ceremony?
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      #3 NYJen

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        Posted 04 May 2008 - 02:34 PM

        How about asking her to read something (Bible verse, poem, etc.) She would be much more involved that way, but not as a BM.

        #4 Chiquita

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          Posted 04 May 2008 - 02:38 PM

          Thanks girls.. that is a good idea.. maybe a poem of some sort..

          #5 caroline

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            Posted 04 May 2008 - 02:38 PM

            Chiquita, don't be pressured into doing anything that you don't want to. Guilt is a terrible thing. But the truth is, if the two of you aren't/weren't that close...

            There will always be someone upset with something. No matter how you try to do things perfectly. You can't keep everyone happy ALL the time. And this is YOUR day. You and your FI... JMO

            #6 Hartyt509

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              Posted 04 May 2008 - 03:20 PM

              Yeah tell her to get over herself and grow up, if she has something to say to say it to you not your FI!! that really bugs me lol

              #7 caroline

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                Posted 04 May 2008 - 03:42 PM

                I like your attitude, H509! It's all in the delivery, I guess... lol

                #8 Chiquita

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                  Posted 04 May 2008 - 03:51 PM

                  Well in all honesty, I don't think she wanted her b/f to talk to me about it.. he just felt bad for her and wanted to say something on his own. I'm just really surprised she is SO upset about this..

                  #9 stacey


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                    Posted 04 May 2008 - 04:00 PM

                    This is a hard situation. I'm guessing she is upset not because she is not in the wedding, standing up for you, helping you out, planning our bachlorette party, bridal shower, etc... She's not there for you when you are having a rough day, or when you and you FI are arguing over what color the napkins should be. It sounds like to me that she is living in a fantasy world that since she is your sister she gets to play BM for a day and look pretty. But not except all the other roles. I think that asking her to read a poem or something is a great idea. And after that you have to move on
                    Stacey & Ely 10.14.2008

                    #10 Sandra E.

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                      Posted 04 May 2008 - 04:11 PM

                      She could also do a toast at the reception.

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