Do you still send gifts if not attending?
Posted 01 May 2008 - 11:50 AM
anyways ... I'm not going to the shower or wedding (I already spent lots of money on concert tickets the night of the wedding ... so I'm going to the concert lol) ...but are you supposed to send a shower gift anyways or a card ...? I don't know what the proper etiquette is.
I'll probably have to come up with a lie to our common friend to prevent drama ... cuz going to a concert isn't really a good excuse to miss a wedding.
sorry for babbling
Posted 01 May 2008 - 11:53 AM
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:00 PM
Also, often people send out invites & just hope people rsvp no to keep their budget in line. Maybe she invited you because she felt like she should for whatever reason. I invited some people who are more of a friends friend because I didn't want them to feel left out. In no way at all would I want a gift.
We get invited to every single guy who was in this college group with mike's wedding. It the standard for them to send invites to the whole list. no way are we going ot send each one of those people a gift.
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:10 PM
Our Caletas Wedding Slideshow (by Leigh Miller)
Our Caletas Wedding Video
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:10 PM
I guess I wasn't much help with your dilemma! Your post made me want to vent too! I agree with Nikki, send something small-very small!
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:12 PM
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:15 PM
I'm pretty sure thats not proper, but neither is inviting random people to share in your wedding!
Posted 01 May 2008 - 12:28 PM
Guests invited to the wedding have an obligation to send a gift, whether they are attending or not. There are few exceptions. If you live far away from where the wedding will take place and have been out of touch with the couple for several years, and are not planning to attend the wedding, there's no need to send a gift. Also, the receipt of a wedding announcement after the wedding carries no gift obligation, although it's thoughtful to send the couple a note or card expressing your "best wishes."
So a lot of the invites we get are from people we haven't talked to in 1-4 years and the weddings are in a different state. I do not feel bad for not sending a gift.
If everyone I sent invites to was obligated to send me a gift, I wouldn't have sent so many out. Now my mom wants me to send more invites to people like my friends parents, grandma's friends, etc. She doesn't want them to feel left out. A friend of my grandma was upset she didn't get an invite to my brother's wedding. She wouldn't be attending. She just wanted an invite.
I don't feel comfortable sending these people invites less than 2 months before a wedding in mexico. To me that seems like a gift request. So I'm going to make wedding announcements & send them out afterwards. They will have a picture of us from the wedding & a link to where people can see the pictures & video.
I think a nice handwritten card should do. I do not think gifts should ever be required even if it's small. If gift giving doesn't feel good, then I think it isn't right. I would hate to get wedding gifts from people who just felt obligated. If they don't really want to get us something, I would much rather they don't. It would make me happy to get notes though saying congrats & just something that would keep us in touch.
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users