I want to FIRE my bridal party...

[LadyCheese]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dbld78 I talked to Tim's dad's wife tonight to see if she could get his dad to take of his brothers. As for my bridesmaids I spoke to one today....and she's not really being a problem but she the most supportive other than my sister and said she would pass my feelings on....so my sister didn't have to! I'm still really pissed though....

yeah i totally feel your frustration, trust me...hopefully once your bridal party is spoken to they will get their act together...keeping my fingers crossed for you.

[Maura]

danielle, if it makes you feel even an ounce better.... my FSIL made a HUGE deal about making a trip to the US to try on a bridesmaid dress even though it is totally unnecessary! she just wants to milk my FMIL for a shopping spree while they are there. typical. so anyway, i come to find out from my MTOH today that the dresses are shortly not going to be offered at ann taylor anymore, so the trip my FSIL scheduled for the end of may is now totally stupid to make, because she wont even be able to get her dress then because they wont carry it in the store anymore. my MTOH even called the specific store my FSIL was going to go to to confirm everything. now, my FSIL is making a BFD about giving me her measurements so i can (somehow, with my busy work schedule working 14 hours a day) track down a fucking dress for her! i am SOOO pissed off right now that i want to just explode. then she tells me this afternoon that she's looking into prices for me to fedex her a dress. and guess the cost to fedex from here to mx city? $150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some friends of ours from mx city are coming at the end of may so i offered FSIL the option of sending it back with our friends and they can drop it off to her. i certainly am not paying $150 to ship her a dress, and i dont want her swindling my FMIL to pay for that either. so ridiculous. well, FSIL does not want me to send a dress back with the friends, even though that is free shipping!!!!!!! she is being all wishywashy about looking at the measurements chart to pick a freaking size so i can track down a dress for her, and from her response to me asking her to do it, she basically wanted me to change the dress color just for her when everybody else already has their dress, even my deadbeat sister who looked up her measurements over a month ago so i could go purchase the dress for her.

 

 

i am going to drink a cocktail in your honor tonight, danielle!

[angitalia23]

Im sorry your being put through this stress. People in the bridal party do not realize all of the stress in the details and planning for the bride & groom, you assume they will help or at the very least respond to a damn email!....but like mentioned before you realize things about them you never noticed. Hopefully they will get it together, im sure their not doing it intentionally toward you or your FI, I just dont think people take the time to realize the importance of things...AHHH

[Dbld78]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maura danielle, if it makes you feel even an ounce better.... my FSIL made a HUGE deal about making a trip to the US to try on a bridesmaid dress even though it is totally unnecessary! she just wants to milk my FMIL for a shopping spree while they are there. typical. so anyway, i come to find out from my MTOH today that the dresses are shortly not going to be offered at ann taylor anymore, so the trip my FSIL scheduled for the end of may is now totally stupid to make, because she wont even be able to get her dress then because they wont carry it in the store anymore. my MTOH even called the specific store my FSIL was going to go to to confirm everything. now, my FSIL is making a BFD about giving me her measurements so i can (somehow, with my busy work schedule working 14 hours a day) track down a fucking dress for her! i am SOOO pissed off right now that i want to just explode. then she tells me this afternoon that she's looking into prices for me to fedex her a dress. and guess the cost to fedex from here to mx city? $150!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! some friends of ours from mx city are coming at the end of may so i offered FSIL the option of sending it back with our friends and they can drop it off to her. i certainly am not paying $150 to ship her a dress, and i dont want her swindling my FMIL to pay for that either. so ridiculous. well, FSIL does not want me to send a dress back with the friends, even though that is free shipping!!!!!!! she is being all wishywashy about looking at the measurements chart to pick a freaking size so i can track down a dress for her, and from her response to me asking her to do it, she basically wanted me to change the dress color just for her when everybody else already has their dress, even my deadbeat sister who looked up her measurements over a month ago so i could go purchase the dress for her. i am going to drink a cocktail in your honor tonight, danielle!

SHUT THE F UP!!!! You have got to be kidding me? I swear they are so not worth the trouble! Don't they realize that this is supposed to be about US and not them! My future sister in law just called me....but I'm just still to pissed to want to talk to her right now!

I wished you lived closer so we COULD get a drink!

[foxytv]

Girl, I feel your pain. I had some really, really shitty BM experiences leading up to my wedding ... and now that the wedding is over am thankful for the eye-opening experience about what I/we expect out of friends and what some people are willing/able to deliver.

 

I was just like you months ago, heartbroken, hurt, angry, almost in tears --- but truly like these others BDW ladies had to tell me ... NO ONE cares about our wedding as much as we do. I tried to let that be my foundation, and it helped ... but the hurt feelings still remain for things that no one helped with, etc etc etc.

 

Just remember that in the end, its you and your man and as long as you are in it together -- it everything will be perfect.

 

And I just got back from my our honeymoon less than 24 hours ago so trust me! :-)

[RiuBride2b]

I completely understand what you are going through. Three of my sisters which were bridesmaids have informed me that they won't becoming. My little sister said she has to worry about her prom (I told her I would help her pay for her trip but for her to show me that she would start it off) and my other sister said she thought we were paying for her to go (yeah right! I have 7 brothers and sisters if you pay for one you have to pay all). My moh called a few weeks ago and said she is sick and having surgery which happened today. I feel as if she will be all healed by the end of July. I think she is just using this as a partial excuse. I have replaced 2 of them but it still hurts me in the end. But what the hell? Don't let it ruin your day. Have fun and enjoy and that is exactly what I am doing!

[Dbld78]

Quote:

Originally Posted by foxytv Girl, I feel your pain. I had some really, really shitty BM experiences leading up to my wedding ... and now that the wedding is over am thankful for the eye-opening experience about what I/we expect out of friends and what some people are willing/able to deliver. I was just like you months ago, heartbroken, hurt, angry, almost in tears --- but truly like these others BDW ladies had to tell me ... NO ONE cares about our wedding as much as we do. I tried to let that be my foundation, and it helped ... but the hurt feelings still remain for things that no one helped with, etc etc etc. Just remember that in the end, its you and your man and as long as you are in it together -- it everything will be perfect. And I just got back from my our honeymoon less than 24 hours ago so trust me! :-)

You are absolutely right! Nor do I expect them to at my every beck and call, but I have done numerous things on many different occasions for each of them.....and while I don't expect the same treatment, I would appreciate some support or concern on their part. After all we chose these people because they were either a REALLY close friend or a family member and I just didn't expect this from grown adults!

*****IMPORTANT NOTE TO MENTION*****

My mom also has to have brain surgery for a rare disease that we only found out she had this January and we were hoping that they would be able to wait until after the wedding to operate.....but it's not looking like they will be able to wait!

So now my stress level IS REALLY HIGH! They all know about my mom's condition too....

So needless to say I spoke with Tim's dad's wife tonight and she called my future sister in law, Tim's brother's wife. To which she called me.... I then returned her call..........and let's just say I vented! I mentioned NUMEROUS times that this was not directed at her I was just pissed in general. Well don't you worry........she yelled back and pretty much made excuses for her and her husband.....ranging anywhere from "our email is down" to "we're just really busy". This conversation accomplished nothing but PISS ME OFF more! I just can't win!!!!!! At all....and she kept telling me that I'm over reacting and that everyone has other situations going on..... REALLY? Who else's mom has to have brain surgery? Seriously what the FUCK? It seems that the offenders think I'm over reacting where the non offenders think I'm warranted in my rant......interesting aye!

[chicklet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dbld78 I am SOOOO disappointed in most of my bridal party.... I am almost in tears about this.... Oh god where should I start...let's start with our Groomsmen. Two weeks ago Tim and I chose the suits for the guys and we ordered Tim's suit that day. It came in last week and we were totally excited! Once we chose the suits we called all the guys to let them know that they needed to get over to Men's Wearhouse ASAP! Because the suits we chose for them to choose between are from last season and they are in limited quantity. The cheaper one (which is the one they will all want) has fewer then 10 left in the COUNTRY! The best part about is they don't have to pay for it until they go for their alterations and that just needs to be done before SEPTEMBER!!!! So I'll we're asking is that they just go over and get measured!!! I really don't think that's asking much! My brother who is the youngest groomsmen and is a poor college kid went last weekend to order his.....he was the first and so far the ONLY one to have done so! Both of Tim's brothers are well establish 30 somethings and should not be giving us a hard time with this but of coarse they are! I'm pissed, I sent an email out last Sunday urging them to get this done ASAP!!!! NOW.......as for my bridesmaids....WELL that's a whole nother thing entirely! I have had to ride some of these girls HARD to get them to order their dresses... And that REALLY disappoints me, I chose these girls because I didn't think these things would be issues for them. I thought they would be on top of their shit! Now my sister tells me tonight that she has sent numerous emails about my shower and she gets no response from ANY of them! I expected this from my 20 year old cousin but not from my future sister in law and my close friend Denise! I am just so disappointed, because I bend over BACKWARDS for my friends and would do anything for them... My friend Denise.....I threw her a baby shower when she was pregnant with our flower girl and I pulled out all the stops! Corrie, she's getting married a month before us.....but I have been on top of her shower planning along side her sister! Now my sister is really the only one who has been doing her share and then some! And it just really upsets me that she's meeting these obstacles with my bridesmaids.... I know that MY wedding isn't everyone else's priority but when you take on a role in someone's wedding you are to pull your weight! That is your job as a bridesmaid.....right! I purposely chose my girls with all these issues in mind figuring they WOULD NOT be an issue at all! I'm really just embarrassed to call them our Bridal Party! I am just so upset........ because we have bent over backwards....me especially to make sure that our Bridal Party wouldn't inconvenienced anymore than the traditional wedding which why we paid for their accommodations for at least a week. I don't think I'm asking for much....just asking our wedding to be somewhere on their priority list... I just feel like I can count on any of them with the exception of my sister, brother and one other groomsmen! Bridezilla is about to make her debut!!!!!!!!! Is anyone else having this problem?

Holy smokes girl. You have one hell of a lazy wedding party. You know what I would do given its a destination wedding, I would keep your sister and boot the rest out. They don't want to help out they don't need to be in the wedding party. Friends and family should want to do this kind of stuff for you. Tell them they are more than welcome to attend the wedding if they wish to pay for themselves. It sounds like they are taking advantage of your good nature.
You can still have a nice ceremony without the big wedding party.
This is what I am doing and its been working out great. She's got to do all that fun stuff with me and there was no conflict or differences of opinion.
I hope all works out for you. Good luck.

[AwesomeBride]

Danielle-

 

I am sorry to hear that you are having issues with your bridal party. These aren't difficult things to ask from them, I haven't experienced any party issues as of yet but if I did, the bridezilla side would come out very quickly

[stacey]

ugghhhh join the crowd