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I want to FIRE my bridal party...


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#1 Dbld78

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    Posted 27 April 2008 - 11:30 PM

    I am SOOOO disappointed in most of my bridal party.... I am almost in tears about this....

    Oh god where should I start...let's start with our Groomsmen. Two weeks ago Tim and I chose the suits for the guys and we ordered Tim's suit that day. It came in last week and we were totally excited! Once we chose the suits we called all the guys to let them know that they needed to get over to Men's Wearhouse ASAP! Because the suits we chose for them to choose between are from last season and they are in limited quantity. The cheaper one (which is the one they will all want) has fewer then 10 left in the COUNTRY! The best part about is they don't have to pay for it until they go for their alterations and that just needs to be done before SEPTEMBER!!!! So I'll we're asking is that they just go over and get measured!!! I really don't think that's asking much!

    My brother who is the youngest groomsmen and is a poor college kid went last weekend to order his.....he was the first and so far the ONLY one to have done so! Both of Tim's brothers are well establish 30 somethings and should not be giving us a hard time with this but of coarse they are! I'm pissed, I sent an email out last Sunday urging them to get this done ASAP!!!!

    NOW.......as for my bridesmaids....WELL that's a whole nother thing entirely! I have had to ride some of these girls HARD to get them to order their dresses... And that REALLY disappoints me, I chose these girls because I didn't think these things would be issues for them. I thought they would be on top of their shit! Now my sister tells me tonight that she has sent numerous emails about my shower and she gets no response from ANY of them! I expected this from my 20 year old cousin but not from my future sister in law and my close friend Denise! I am just so disappointed, because I bend over BACKWARDS for my friends and would do anything for them... My friend Denise.....I threw her a baby shower when she was pregnant with our flower girl and I pulled out all the stops! Corrie, she's getting married a month before us.....but I have been on top of her shower planning along side her sister! Now my sister is really the only one who has been doing her share and then some! And it just really upsets me that she's meeting these obstacles with my bridesmaids....

    I know that MY wedding isn't everyone else's priority but when you take on a role in someone's wedding you are to pull your weight! That is your job as a bridesmaid.....right! I purposely chose my girls with all these issues in mind figuring they WOULD NOT be an issue at all! I'm really just embarrassed to call them our Bridal Party!

    I am just so upset........ because we have bent over backwards....me especially to make sure that our Bridal Party wouldn't inconvenienced anymore than the traditional wedding which why we paid for their accommodations for at least a week. I don't think I'm asking for much....just asking our wedding to be somewhere on their priority list... I just feel like I can count on any of them with the exception of my sister, brother and one other groomsmen!

    Bridezilla is about to make her debut!!!!!!!!!

    Is anyone else having this problem?

    #2 Sandra E.

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      Posted 27 April 2008 - 11:59 PM

      Danielle, I'm sorry you're going through all of this. I went through something similar, you really find a lot about people when weddings come around. Now I understand why sometimes friendships are broken. Hang in there, put your foot down, make decisions and don't look back. Good luck!

      #3 michelle08

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        Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:09 AM

        I'm sorry Danielle that you are having to deal w/ this...but I agree you unfortunately do find the real person you didn't know was there...

        You seem like you have made it pretty easy for them and paid for their trip...that's awesome and expensive! They should be more up on it...but try and step outside the box too and you would think this stuff is common sense for really for alot of people knowing thier role in a wedding is foreign to them and I am the type of person to look online and find out exactly what I am supposed to do but not everyone is like that....so maybe you should talk to them about it and see if they really understand what needs to be done??

        #4 melody

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          Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:12 AM

          I don't have a bridal party but wanted to tell you I am sorry you are having a hard time. Have you personally talked to them ? maybe they don't realize the urgency although, I really think their cavalier attitude towards your wedding is very disapointing.

          What about having only your sister and FI''s brother, they seem to be the ones who care and are on the ball at this point. It would be less stressful for you.

          #5 Dbld78

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            Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:31 AM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by michelle08
            I'm sorry Danielle that you are having to deal w/ this...but I agree you unfortunately do find the real person you didn't know was there...

            You seem like you have made it pretty easy for them and paid for their trip...that's awesome and expensive! They should be more up on it...but try and step outside the box too and you would think this stuff is common sense for really for alot of people knowing thier role in a wedding is foreign to them and I am the type of person to look online and find out exactly what I am supposed to do but not everyone is like that....so maybe you should talk to them about it and see if they really understand what needs to be done??
            That makes sense to send them their obligations.... But all of them except for my little 20 year old cousin have been in weddings before! My future sister in law and her husband Tim's brother this will be HER 9th wedding and his 7th! His other brother this will be his 5th! My friend Denise this will be her 4th... My sister this is her 3rd and my brother and Tim's best friend this will be their 2nd each!

            I did think about buying the "Bridesmaids Survival Guide" and sending it to each of them....

            #6 Dbld78

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              Posted 28 April 2008 - 12:36 AM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by melody
              What about having only your sister and FI''s brother, they seem to be the ones who care and are on the ball at this point. It would be less stressful for you.
              That's a great idea, but it's actually MY little brother both of Tim's brothers are being pains in the ass!

              #7 Hartyt509

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                Posted 28 April 2008 - 07:55 AM

                You aren't alone. I'm not having a bridal party and the guests are being PITA too and its a bloody year away!!

                I dread telling FMIL - FI actually said well she needs to "plan" - what what FFS she's just got to turn up!!

                So I feel your pain, it might kill you but what about if you send them an email saying right you lot obviously aren't interested so i'm doing no more and i'm not hassling you anymore. Do or don't but if you aren't coming have the courtesy of telling me as we are paying for your stay.

                Bet that gets you a response lol

                #8 Golden

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                  Posted 28 April 2008 - 09:29 AM

                  I had the same problems. I just let them go , but they all come around
                  on thier own.

                  #9 Dbld78

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                    Posted 28 April 2008 - 11:37 AM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by kendra
                    I had the same problems. I just let them go , but they all come around
                    on thier own.
                    I am thinking of giving them a deadline and if can't meet it then they will be excluded from the bridal party.... I want nothing to do with this anymore!

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Hartyt509
                    You aren't alone. I'm not having a bridal party and the guests are being PITA too and its a bloody year away!!

                    I dread telling FMIL - FI actually said well she needs to "plan" - what what FFS she's just got to turn up!!

                    So I feel your pain, it might kill you but what about if you send them an email saying right you lot obviously aren't interested so i'm doing no more and i'm not hassling you anymore. Do or don't but if you aren't coming have the courtesy of telling me as we are paying for your stay.

                    Bet that gets you a response lol


                    #10 nikkianddean

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                      Posted 28 April 2008 - 11:40 AM

                      Maybe you should have a heart to heart with the BM's and encourage Time to do the same with his friends. Maybe your bridal party does not know the stress it is causing you and it will be good to clear the air and make sure everyone is on the same page.

                      Are you totally opposed to doing away with the wedding party? I ask that very delicately because I know you went through a lot to pick the people that are standing beside you and Tim....But if this continues the way it is then it might be something to consider. They will all still be there...just not with the same responsibilities. Good luck Danielle!!!
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