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1st Wedding Argument w/ FI....


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#1 nikkianddean

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    Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:05 AM

    ...and it better be the last!!!

    So yesterday, Dean came to me and said that he has to invite his old co-worker (that I can't stand) to the wedding. Here' Randy:

    -He likes to fight and instigates confrontations at bars with strangers
    -He has been really rude to my bro and now my bro can't stand him
    -We were at a bar once and I was having a little problem with a girl in another party and Randy walked over and farted in her face while she was sitting (I was mortified)
    -In a cab ride, he suggested that he wanted to "rape" some girl who pissed him off
    -Randy was banned from our X-mas party last year b/c he was embarassing. Dean invited him anyway and midway thru the party Randy had put the You Tube of "2 girls, one cup" on our computer and started inviting our guests to come watch it. this was the last straw.

    Months ago when we made our guest lists I thought we were very clear that Randy was not invited. So now Dean feels like he has no say in anything regarding the wedding. On one hand I feel bad because I want him to feel like it is his wedding too, but on the other hand, Randy has no place at our wedding.

    Am I wrong here?
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    February 14, 2009

    #2 starchild

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      Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:14 AM

      Based on what you shared I wouldn't want his crazy ass there either! I don't think you're wrong, the guy is obviously abrasive and may act this way to your guests...plus he already got into it with your bro? Not a good thing.

      Sometimes men have a higher tolerance for that bs than we do, so expect resistance, but I think if FI understands how deeply troubling this is/will be for you he will respect your wishes. Plus if he thinks it through on his own hopefully he will come to that conclusion himself, right now it may just be an impulse decision, you know? Let him have his say in some other aspect of the planning...lol Good luck :)

      #3 Angel

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        Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:18 AM

        I don't think your wrong. That's your day and you don't want anybody F'ing it up with their nonsense. Did you ask him why he has to invite him? I would sit down and tell him how you feel and ask him to list some positive things about the guy. If he can't name any then he should really reconsider his decision.

        #4 Alyssa

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          Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:25 AM

          Why does your FI want to invite him?

          #5 Spazz

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            Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:39 AM

            I don't see any reason why this person needs to be at your wedding. But, I agree that you should have FI name a few positive things about him and state why he wants him to come and you can have a real discussion with FI about the pros/cons of inviting him.

            #6 Allaballa

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              Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:40 AM

              I think that your FI is missing a critical point here. This is a DW. So its not a few hours you have to spend with Buddy but days.

              Farting in someone's face? Really??

              #7 becks

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              Posted 25 April 2008 - 09:43 AM

              I don't think you're in the wrong. But I do think you need to have a conversation about it. If this guy is THAT awful at a party, can you imagine how bad he will be for several days? And once he's there, it's not like you can ask him to leave. He's got a plane ticket; he's there for the duration.

              Maybe you should suggest to FI to think about how his mom/grandmother/aunt/sister/etc. are going to feel when he starts behaving this way and he has to explain to them that Randy is his guest.

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              #8 nikkianddean

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                Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:16 AM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by becks
                Maybe you should suggest to FI to think about how his mom/grandmother/aunt/sister/etc. are going to feel when he starts behaving this way and he has to explain to them that Randy is his guest.
                This was the conversation we had last night. He even said he did not think it would be a good idea to have Randy around his grandparents. I think it's more flexing his (male) muscle than anything else. I am going to try to give him some space and he will (hopefully) understand where I am coming from. Dean is so reasonable which is why this threw me for a loop last night...
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                #9 Maura

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                Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:28 AM

                um no, you should not invite randy. he sounds like a psycho. just drama waiting to happen!

                #10 Jessica

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                  Posted 25 April 2008 - 10:38 AM

                  Randy sounds like a major asshole who needs to grow up.

                  I would so not want him at my wedding. Come on.. farting in someone's face?!? Seriously?!?

                  I hope Dean realizes that inviting Randy is not going to do anything to improve your wedding.




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