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#1 lyrebard

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    Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:11 PM

    As much as this is a music question, it's also one of etiquette, as this choice will likely affect the moods of me, the Boy, and our friends and family.

    First, a bit of background: When I was young, my mom co-founded a chorus. She passed away in 2004, and this chorus commissioned a piece by her favorite composer, which they sang at a concert in her honor last year.

    In thinking of music to use for our entrance, this piece is what comes instantly to mind. It's the only way I can think of to have her, and something so important and special to her, and something that played a role in so much of my life, close to me on this day. But here's the problem: the music is beautiful and complex, but also melancholy and mournful. It's not happy, and on such a happy day I hate the idea that the first thing we'd do would be to bring everyone -- me included -- down. I know that if I hear it, I will cry. In fact, I will probably sob. Uncontrollably. (In fact, darn it, I'm tearing up now just thinking about it.) And yet...

    I don't know what to do on this one. I can't imagine not using it, but my GOSH I hate crying!!! Just looking for a bit of outside perspective on this one. Any thoughts?

    #2 Kat81

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      Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:13 PM

      Maybe use it as your Father Daughter dance... that will make you cry no matter what so at least it's only a one time deal.... I'm sorry your mom won't be there. I have a story it's kind of long though... I'll type it out

      #3 Kat81

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        Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:19 PM

        My best friend's mom passed away when she was four months old. So, she never knew her. Well, for her father daughter dance she decided to have "Holes in the floor of heaven" if you haven't heard this song listen to it it's super sad and sweet. Well, the day of her wedding it was pouring we are talking couldn't open the door of the truck for thirty seconds without there being a pool of water in the seat. Now, keep in mind this is west texas. IT DOES NOT RAIN like this in West TExas. It was last August 18th. They got like 10 inches of raind in twelve hours. Well it poured through the ceremony and when it was time for the reception it cleared enough to get to the reception hall. When she had her first dance the music worked great but when it got to her father daughter dance the cd player wouldnt play the song. She burst into tears and ran into the bathroom. Being the MOH I had to think quick i told someone to grab the CD and run and put it in my truck and blast it. I went and got my friend and brought her outside. As soon as we got out there the sun started peaking through the clouds but it was still raining all the way around us just not where we were. It was so weird. It was lightning and thundering but for that one song the sun was out. It was so her mom looking over her and watching her and her dad dance.
        I am now balling. I cry everytime I think of that...
        Here is the song...
        One day shy of eight years old

        when Grandma passed away

        I was a broken hearted little boy

        blowing out that birthday cake

        how I cried when the sky let go

        with a cold and lonesome rain

        Mamma smiled said don’t be sad child

        Grandmas watching you today



        Chorus:

        Cause there’s holes in the floor of heaven

        and her tears are pouring down

        that’s how you know she’s watching

        wishing she could be here now

        and sometimes if your lonely

        just remember she can see

        there’s holes in the floor of heaven and she’s

        watching over you and me



        Seasons come and seasons go

        nothing stays the same

        I grew up fell in love

        met a girl who took my name

        year by year we made a life in this sleepy little town

        I thought we’d grow old together

        Lord, I sure do miss her now



        Chorus:

        But there’s holes in the floor of heaven

        and her tears are pouring down

        that’s how I know she’s watching

        wishing she could be here now

        and sometimes when I’m lonely

        I remember she can see

        there’s holes in the floor of heaven and she’s

        watching over you and me

















        Well my little girl is 23 I walk her down the aisle

        it’s a shame her Mom can’t be here now

        to see her lovely smile

        they throw the rice I catch her eye

        as the rain starts coming down

        she takes my hand says daddy don’t be sad

        cause I know Mamma’s watching now



        Chorus:

        and there’s holes in the floor of heaven

        and her tears are pouring down

        that’s how you know she’s watching

        wishing she could be here now

        and sometimes when you’re lonely

        just remember she can see

        there’s holes in the floor of heaven and she’s

        watching over you and me



        Sorry, I know this is sad... just a reminder your mom will be there with you every step of the way.

        #4 Christine

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        Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:22 PM

        hmm that is a tough call, I would say that if it means a lot to you and that is the best way for you to have your mom with you, can you play it as a prelude, but not necessarily enter to it?
        Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

        #5 lyrebard

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          Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:30 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Christine
          hmm that is a tough call, I would say that if it means a lot to you and that is the best way for you to have your mom with you, can you play it as a prelude, but not necessarily enter to it?
          I suppose I could do that, but then it's not *mine* and I won't get to hear it. Does that make any sense? (Selfish? Me??) Does that mean that, if you were a guest at such a wedding, you might be uncomfortable hearing it?

          And Kat, thanks for the story. Such a sad, sweet one. (And now I made someone else cry, too. Sorry!!) And thanks for the idea, but we're not doing the traditional parent/child dances -- just salsa! Happy dancing. =)

          #6 JessicaPV

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            Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:30 PM

            I am truly sorry about such a tough choice, but Kat is right, play it but you dont have to play it for the wall down. You know I was at a Wedding and I saw something really cool that the bride and groom did. During all the dance (Bride &Groom, daddy dance) they also had a dance for married couples then as the song went on they started saying "ok couples who have been married for over a year can stay on the dance floor" then they went on in how many years and less people got to stay on the dance floor. When there was only one couple the dance stopped. My point is maybe you can, during the dancing part of your wedding have a special Family Dance for everyone who was close to your Mom. Just a thought and good luck with all of this.

            #7 JessicaPV

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              Posted 24 April 2008 - 06:38 PM

              Ok so I guess it took me to long to reply and after hearing that you will not be doing traditional dances I guess my idea does not really work, but Salsa! This is my all time favorite dance and if it were up to me I would dance Salsa everyday. When I first started to learn I lost 20 lbs in a matter of about 3 months. Have fun with that and again good luck.

              #8 lyrebard

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                Posted 24 April 2008 - 07:36 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by photographybyjessica
                Ok so I guess it took me to long to reply and after hearing that you will not be doing traditional dances I guess my idea does not really work, but Salsa! This is my all time favorite dance and if it were up to me I would dance Salsa everyday. When I first started to learn I lost 20 lbs in a matter of about 3 months. Have fun with that and again good luck.
                Thanks! I love it, but only dance a little bit. The Boy doesn't dance at all, so we're actually going to have salsa lessons after cocktails (sometimes it takes our friends a tequila shot or two before they'll shake their collective booties!).

                But yeah, no "traditional" dancing. It's just not our style and, since neither of my parents are still alive (lost my dad when I was even younger, in 1995), I've never really been able to watch the parent/child dances at other wedding. *shrug* So guess it's just a matter of whether or not this would make everyone else uncomfortable...I think I could take it, even if my make-up couldn't.

                #9 Christine

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                Posted 24 April 2008 - 07:44 PM

                hmm tough decision, so let me understand this, you actually want to walk down the aisle to your mom's song? Honestly it will be sad, but its your wedding and if you feel that its something you want to have and will make you feel that your parents, especially your mom are with you then you should go for it!
                Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

                #10 lyrebard

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                  Posted 25 April 2008 - 07:33 AM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Christine
                  hmm tough decision, so let me understand this, you actually want to walk down the aisle to your mom's song? Honestly it will be sad, but its your wedding and if you feel that its something you want to have and will make you feel that your parents, especially your mom are with you then you should go for it!
                  Yeah, I guess I was thinking that while I'll be sad, I think it would still be okay as long as it didn't make my guests uncomfortable. If you were a guest and one of your friends did this, would you find it touching or so sad that it was almost macabre?




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