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Cost for Guests

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    Posted 30 January 2007 - 07:57 PM

    The drama continues with my crazy family! They have known all along that I wanted to do the DW (mainly bc I have to pay for this by myself... clearing of throat). I am giving them 14 months to save the $ and am trying to get the best deals possible. When my mom found out that she will have to pay about $2000 for her and her husband to come, she tried to "talk me out of it" by telling me that no one in my family is coming besides herself and my Grandma. She even complained that she did not want to spend all that $ "just to come to my wedding and have to take care of my 81 yr old grandma the entire time, and wouldn't even be able to enjoy herself".

    All the while my finace's family is totally on board and in support of it. In order to shut her up, we offered to pay my mom's way. And I told her that the wedding "is not all about her", but all she can do is complain. Not only is she complaining about taking care of my Grandma, she is complaining about the dumbest stuff like hard beds! This would be a great trip for my Grandma. She has never been anywhere like this and would have a good time. My mom would need to do a certain amount of babysitting for my Grandma, because she is old. But that seems like the least she can do! I mean, my Grandma is a wonderful lady and one day she will be dead and not able to come to Mexico! I think my mom is being selfish and should stop complaining. Is anyone else experiencing anything like this?

    #22 Nrvsbride

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      Posted 30 January 2007 - 08:22 PM

      Don't worry we all went through this. Everyone's family always feeds them a million and one excuses on why they don't want to go. We've heard them all here, but I'll admit the "I don't want to babysit grandma" one is new to me. Unbelievable. Do not let this ruin your excitement. People are going to complain about everything! Sherri was called selfish for having her wedding in Hawaii and I was called a hypocrite for inviting people to a DW when I know that most people won't be able to go. It is very hurtful and I know exactly how you feel but you can't let this upset you or ruin your planning. They will all get over it trust me. And if they don't TOUGH!


      #23 cheese_diva

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        Posted 30 January 2007 - 08:43 PM

        Change your wedding to Oct 07 and your grandma and my grandma can hang out! lol

        I'm in California and all of my family and friends I grew up with are all in WI. One of my great friends was told yesterday the wedding is in Cabo and she told her sister who says "Aw, Crap, do we have to go."... I didn't say anything, but all I thought was, you'd have to make a trip to CA regardless if you wanted to attend and we aren't "making" anyone go.

        I completely understand if some people can't make it, but I also know we're going to have a great time with the people we do.

        Maybe if you gave them 4 years notice, they might be able to make it. Yeah Right!
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        #24 LCBride2007


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          Posted 30 January 2007 - 09:26 PM

          What is with people!? I understand the budget issues, but I'd be stoked if a friend or family member was married at a great destination and we were invited - what a great excuse for a vacation! Oh yea, Paul's cousin is getting married in Cyprus this Fall, and we're HOPING we're invited!

          #25 BayBug

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            Posted 30 January 2007 - 09:29 PM

            My family complained about my DW and they are still complaining. I really don't anymore. If no one shows up great! If people do show up great! I really don't care. This day is about Tim and me. It was really hurtful at first and then I really just got over it.
            It really sucks that families are not supportive from the beginning. Is that too much to ask?

            #26 Natalie Z

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              Posted 30 January 2007 - 09:45 PM

              I don't want to come off like a bi*ch but Do what you want to do!!!! This is about you and your FI!!! If people are going to complain then tell them not to come!! They are invited, not forced to go! That sucks that it's your mom because I'm sure you really want her there!

              #27 gkashmira

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                Posted 30 January 2007 - 10:00 PM

                I agree with everything everyone has said (adding a lot to the conversation, huh?!?). Tammy is defintiely in the know when it comes to DW and especially Dreams Los Cabos because her wedding was there!

                As for people compaining - well we've all bee there. I realize that even if we weren't having a DW people woould be complaining anyway. And I think a lot of us got some resistance from parents as well. Remember that sometimes "new" things scare people. I know it sounds silly but your mom (without even knowing it) might just be scared about you a) getting married B) in a foreign country.

                Luckily you've given her MORE than enough time to adjust to the plan. My parents were a PITA at first and now I think they're excited! And the truth of the matter is that Natalie is totally right - this is about YOU and your FI! Also I'm sure people will stop giving you such a hard time once they adjust to the idea. When people say rude or negative things I simply tell them (nicely), "We'd love to have you there but if you can't come than we totally understand." I think when you say this suddenly they may realize that they don't HAVE to come - but you'd love to have them there IF they want to be there.

                I even have people complaining about the price of the hotel... ummmm I gave people about 100 different options for places where they can stay for way less! So the bottom line is that people are stupid and they love to complain. people also are very selfish and honestly don't think about anyone but themselves.

                P.S. is there anyone who can help your mom with your grandma?
                Kashmira & Dan
                Happily married since June 16, 2007
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                #28 Nrvsbride

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                  Posted 30 January 2007 - 10:10 PM

                  I don't know if anyone informed you but I am crashing all the weddings and I'm sure you'll grandmother and I will have a great time!


                  #29 LRUSH

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                    Posted 30 January 2007 - 10:10 PM

                    Thanks to everyone who responed to this. You guys have been so great! It'g good to know that others are going through the same stuff. I feel alot better, and I love this forum!

                    #30 amyh


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                      Posted 30 January 2007 - 10:16 PM

                      Originally Posted by gkashmira

                      And I think a lot of us got some resistance from parents as well. Remember that sometimes "new" things scare people. I know it sounds silly but your mom (without even knowing it) might just be scared about you a) getting married B) in a foreign country.
                      Same here. My mom said that I was crazy for considering PV AND my parents are Mexican!! I thought they would be excited. But now that we are actually into our planning my mom is very excited. She comes home daily with ideas that she's found online.

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