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FYB87

Are you and your fiance waiting to consumate...

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I don't think any of us are looking for praise, but I think people are giving kudos because we're doing something against the norm that is hard to do. Trust me, I've wanted to pounce on FI MANY times in the last 3+ years, but my personal belief is that sex only belongs in a marriage, so I'm waiting. I don't think those who are sexually active are weak or look down on them in any way, we just believe different things.

 

I guess what I'm trying to tackfully say is that even if you don't think praise is deserved, just let people give it if they want to. It's not hurting anyone, but questioning it may make people feel bad.

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Originally Posted by froggie1013 View Post
I don't think any of us are looking for praise, but I think people are giving kudos because we're doing something against the norm that is hard to do. Trust me, I've wanted to pounce on FI MANY times in the last 3+ years, but my personal belief is that sex only belongs in a marriage, so I'm waiting. I don't think those who are sexually active are weak or look down on them in any way, we just believe different things.

I guess what I'm trying to tackfully say is that even if you don't think praise is deserved, just let people give it if they want to. It's not hurting anyone, but questioning it may make people feel bad.

I agree. I didn't at all think anyone was looking for praise. Maybe just wanting to know they weren't the only ones out there waiting. I imagine it can feel that way. And there is nothing wrong with saying kudos to you for having that much self-control. And the waiters never got judgy on the non-waiters so I don't see a problem.

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I'm definitely glad I started this thread! I guess with most of my friends making me feel like I was a weirdo or crazy. And it kinda pisses me off at times because I would never down them for their choices or make negative remarks. I wanted if there are others here in on the forum that could relate! Thanks to every one that has commented.

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I didn't say anyone was asking for praise.

 

I totally understand praising someone for sticking to something the believe in. It didn't seem like that's what the praise was for. I hope I didn't make anyone feel bad. It just didn't occur to me to think that way.

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Originally Posted by Pisces View Post
I think this is entirely a personal choice (and not one I've madesmile72.gif) but I don't really understand why the choice to wait is considered something to send kudos about?

I respect either decision, but I don't see myself as weak for having sex prior to marriage, nor do I see anyone else as strong for having waited. huh.gif
I kind of agree with you only because people I've known who have waited sometimes talk about how much more special or magical their night would be, etc. which sort of implies that those of us with sex lives were going to have a trite experience, which anyone who has sex knows is not true. Personally, it would have been cruel and unusual punishment for us to wait and I consider us strong for living our truth.

Anyhoo, it's a personal choice as you all say. I support the people who think waiting means something and the people who think not waiting means something :)

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