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How to uninvite a BM

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26 replies to this topic

#11 weez

  • Jr. Member
  • 151 posts

    Posted 22 January 2007 - 07:05 PM

    for what it's worth here's my advice.....leave talking to her as long as you can Then when you do have to tell her, totally blame it all on your FI! It's what I would do....of course he is gonna be pissed at her for what she did so she should buy it! It's the perfect excuse! That way you don't have to insult her by saying that you don't want her to be your BM coz she is a shitty friend!! LOL! She'll probably feel so guilty again for what she did that she wont even question it! You get away looking good, your FI wont even know whats going on, everyones happy!! LOL!

    #12 Nrvsbride

    • Sr. Member
    • 5,248 posts

      Posted 22 January 2007 - 07:17 PM

      Thanks guys I really appreciate the advice. I think you are right Sarah so much can happen from now until then. I should just hold off for as long as possible. It's just so annoying that I can't enjoy this time with my BM's b/c of her. Uggh. My sister thinks I should just ask whoever I want and not tell her until I absolutely have to. But Louisa you are right, I am totally going to blame this on my FI. LOL. He told me to put all the blame on him. He really is so great he just wants to see me happy. The only reason why he never told her off was b/c I asked him not to.


      #13 JENGONDA9

      • Jr. Member
      • 163 posts

        Posted 22 January 2007 - 07:23 PM

        BM problems are so not fun. I nearly had to de-BM one but luckily she did it to herself!

        If I were you, I would wait until you have to talk to her at that wedding, tell her at that time that you are unhappy about the lie she told about your FI and not even bring up the BM thing. Chances are after you tell her you are not happy with her, she will bring it up herself. These things have an amazing way of resolving themselves given enough time. So then regarding the website you could ask your FI if he wouldn't mind putting something on that page that says "coming soon" until you can resolve it and then email a reminder to all your guests when it has been updated. That page takes the longest out of all of them anyway!!
        Jen & Aaron
        January 13, 2007

        #14 Nrvsbride

        • Sr. Member
        • 5,248 posts

          Posted 22 January 2007 - 07:24 PM

          Thanks for the advice Jen! I can't wait to see pics and read your review!


          #15 REBECCA

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          • 1,825 posts

            Posted 22 January 2007 - 07:54 PM

            I agree with the other girls. Blame the FI. I definitely wouldn't keep her in the wedding in lieu of hurting her feelings. In fact, after the stunt she pulled it is probably better to not have her in your life anyway. Seems like she likes drama and planning a wedding stirs up enough of it on it's own!

            Alexander & Juliette - Born 3/15/09</center>

            #16 lbourassa

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              Posted 22 January 2007 - 08:13 PM

              Originally Posted by REBECCA
              I agree with the other girls. Blame the FI. I definitely wouldn't keep her in the wedding in lieu of hurting her feelings. In fact, after the stunt she pulled it is probably better to not have her in your life anyway. Seems like she likes drama and planning a wedding stirs up enough of it on it's own!
              That's a really shitty thing to do, and I'm sure she's probably expecting to get ousted... and hse deserves a good a**kicking for that too!~!

              #17 anaderoux

              • Sr. Member
              • 3,220 posts

                Posted 22 January 2007 - 10:08 PM

                Sorry I am so late for this, I've been extremely busy today but here is what I will do:
                I also have a "friend" who asked me if I was going to have BMs 'cause she wanted to be one..
                so I told her no, my sister is going to be the only BM, (in fact I'll have 8 BMs hahaha)... I also told her I didn't want her or my other friends dealing with the trouble of finding a dress.. etc.. and since it's not a traditional wedding she understood..

                so when she notices everyone is going to be a BM except her I'm going to blame it on my friends (they agreed).. I'll tell her I knew nothing about it and they just decided to surprise me.. and then it'll be too late for her to join them..

                I wanted to post pictures of my BMs on my webpage too but I decided not to do it because of that..

                Hope it helps...

                #18 -Kate-

                • VIP Member
                • 7,676 posts

                  Posted 22 January 2007 - 10:21 PM

                  I'm late to this but here goes...

                  #1 I hate this girl already. Who does that?
                  #2 I think you should tell her that bc you are having a DW you are "resetting" the bridal party. Then ask who you want to ask and leave her out.
                  #3 If she says ANYTHING about why she's not in it say "it probably has to do with the fact you like to lie about the groom. real friends don't do that."

                  #19 Christine

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                  • Wedding Date:July 20, 2007
                  • Wedding Location:Napa, California
                  • LocationReno, NV

                  Posted 23 January 2007 - 11:25 AM

                  Glenda, I know how you feel about not wanting to put it off, because there are times when you will want to have BM days and need to do stuff with them. I also know that my BM's were very excited to be on our website, in fact one even sent me a beter picture of herself because she hated the one I had...anyway with that being said, because of what she has recently done, I would call her and tell her "you know I have been thinking and I didn't think this would make a difference but because you lied about James, he and I don't feel comfortable with you standing up for us, its just an akward situation and need to do some re assignments anyway because of the DW. Of course we would still love for you to be in attendance. I hope you can understand how uncomfortable that would be"

                  otherwise, what Kate said is really great too...I would personally not tell her this at the other wedding, because if she can lie like that about your FI what kind of scene is she going to make, and you wouldn't want to ruin your other friends day with drama. You also might want to give your other friend a heads up so you don't wind up sitting at the same table as this girl at the wedding. That would be really weird.
                  Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

                  #20 TammyWright


                    Admin & Owner

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                  Posted 23 January 2007 - 06:12 PM

                  am i the mean one?

                  i think it is BS that she told people and her bf your fiance hit on her. i don't care what her reason is!

                  that in itself is a reason to fire her as a BM and put her on probabtion as a friend.

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