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Bride010101

Lost a bridesmaid

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I just had a BM drop out too but I didn't mind at all. It's the least of the headaches lol But I'd definitely ask your FSIL if you think she's right for the job. I'm sure if you told her you lost a BM and you'd love it if she filled in, she'd be happy to do it.

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Originally Posted by becks View Post
I agree - tell her that you've become close over the last several months and she was your first thought. If it were me, I'd totally be touched!

And if you're worried about her feeling like she needs to reciprocate, tell her that she doesn't and don't think twice about it.
I was going to say the same thing!

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I think you should decide what is more important - having an uneven bridal party or asking FSIL to be in your wedding. I think asking her would be awesome and she wouldn't be offended at all especially since you guys have become close just so recently.

On the other hand, I had 4 GM and 3 BM and I just had the one extra GM walk the grandma's down the aisle. It was very sweet and added a little extra touch to our ceremony! Let us know what you do!

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That's my problem with asking folks to be our BM and GM. In our case, we don't want to burden anyone so that they feel obligate to have to go and spend so much money to fly to another country. So, we've decided to wait for the RSVP's to come in and from those RSVP's, we'll choose our BM and GM and tell them that they will be part of our wedding since they're planning to go anyways. All we're doing is forking up the money to dress them.

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Thanks everyone for your opinions!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SunBride View Post
definitely don't ask the cousin, that looks like a disaster waiting to happen (i.e. annoying you on your wedding day) and definitely ask your future sister in law, it sounds like you guys have been gettign close lately and she will be so honored. If it was me I would completely 100% understand the situation (i.e. you were probably not as close with her when you initially chose your bridesmaids, plus you wanted matching numbers, and now you have an opening and you thought of her because you gusy have gotten closer recently).
You got it it right on!

 

If I chose my cousin it would end very badly. I can just imainge freaking out on her on the wedding day and the family drama that would ensue.

 

And I think I will ask my FSIL. When we originally picked the wedding party I wasn't very close to her at all and at that point she wasn't engaged to FI's brother so it would have been weird. I think our relationship has developed rapidly over the past couple of months... so I hope she will be honored. Plus I know she will be coming for sure anyways... so it wouldn't be too much of an additional cost.

 

Now I just need to think of a fun way to ask her. It's hard because I can't do it in person... and probably wouldn't be patient enough to mail a cute card from US to Canada (not sure what turn around time for that is... but may have to look into it).

 

Thanks again everyone! I'll let you know what happens.

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Originally Posted by becks View Post
I agree - tell her that you've become close over the last several months and she was your first thought. If it were me, I'd totally be touched!

And if you're worried about her feeling like she needs to reciprocate, tell her that she doesn't and don't think twice about it.

i agree too!

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Originally Posted by lilywu@ladhs.org View Post
That's my problem with asking folks to be our BM and GM. In our case, we don't want to burden anyone so that they feel obligate to have to go and spend so much money to fly to another country. So, we've decided to wait for the RSVP's to come in and from those RSVP's, we'll choose our BM and GM and tell them that they will be part of our wedding since they're planning to go anyways. All we're doing is forking up the money to dress them.
We tried to avoid asking too early as well! It was semi-easy as half our wedding party is our siblings who will for sure be coming. Plus FI had two friends that we know we could count on and as well as my Maid of Honor.

My fourth spot was more difficult... as my top option I knew couldn't really afford it ... and of my others one is trying to get pregnant (and hopefully will be in the near future) and the other was the girl who just cancelled on me. (Who I didn't ask until after she called me upon getting the STD and saying she was so excited, wouldn't miss it and that even her BF was planning already to come).

But I think its all working out. I am getting really excited about asking FSIL... so I guess as always, what is meant to be will find a way!

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**Update**

 

Well I have officially decided to ask her! Unfortunately since I wont be seeing her in the near future (probably not until the wedding), I had to find a different way to ask her. I'm not a phone person in general, and with something like this I probably would have babbled and missed the important things I wanted to say.

 

So I made up a little card asking her and included a letter explaining my reasons/thoughts. It went in the box with her FI's (Sean's brother's) wedding attire and to the UPS store today. So now I anxiously have to await for Thursday for her to get it!

 

In the meantime... here is my will you be my bridesmaid card:

 

Click the image to open in full size. Click the image to open in full size.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyN View Post
**Update**

Well I have officially decided to ask her! Unfortunately since I wont be seeing her in the near future (probably not until the wedding), I had to find a different way to ask her. I'm not a phone person in general, and with something like this I probably would have babbled and missed the important things I wanted to say.

So I made up a little card asking her and included a letter explaining my reasons/thoughts. It went in the box with her FI's (Sean's brother's) wedding attire and to the UPS store today. So now I anxiously have to await for Thursday for her to get it!

In the meantime... here is my will you be my bridesmaid card:

Click the image to open in full size. Click the image to open in full size.
That is so cute! She will be super excited to receive the card.

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