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Am I Wrong??


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#1 plumsugar

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    Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:05 PM

    I’ve been posting a lot of just venting’s lately lol!

    So I’m royally pissed with FI. Our civil ceremony (CC) is Monday the 21st: the day of our 8th year anniversary together. We agreed that this legal marriage in the states was not going to be a big deal and we wouldn’t tell anyone about it - especially our guests - in order not to take away from the DW. The CC was originally to be just us, my brother, and his sister.

    Our parents are now going to the CC because his dad may not be able to make the DW so we’d at least like to have him there. This means his mom has to go too and my parents as well since we don’t want anyone feeling left out. A bit disappointing, but perfectly fine.

    Cut to today: he tells me some friends want to take him out this week, two of which are not going to the DW and one who is a guest! Why? Because they want to take him out before getting married on Monday!

    Um…Hello? What happened to keeping quiet except to those who have to be at the CC?? WE aren’t even celebrating it, so why should he with friends? Possibly a misunderstanding between us, but very unlikely…he just has a big mouth sometimes :/

    To make matters worse, I just assumed (that habit will be the death of me) that the weekend of our anniversary would have at least some plans of our own since the day-of is overshadowed by greater things…

    Maybe I’m just being a big baby, but on top of losing my E-ring and the news of his dad not being able to go, I’m just very frustrated at how some aspects are turning out.
    What do you think?

    #2 Kat81

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      Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:10 PM

      It is slightly cute that he is so excited about it that he told, frustrating I am sure but still cute. Maybe just tell him you had hoped to do something sweet and romantic. Maybe he can go out with the boys Friday and you can spend Saturday and Sunday together. My FI is the same way! I am waiting until the very last minute for our CC or else everyone will know!!

      #3 plumsugar

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        Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:17 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Kat81
        It is slightly cute that he is so excited about it that he told, frustrating I am sure but still cute. Maybe just tell him you had hoped to do something sweet and romantic. Maybe he can go out with the boys Friday and you can spend Saturday and Sunday together. My FI is the same way! I am waiting until the very last minute for our CC or else everyone will know!!
        The thing is, he's going out twice to accomodate his friends' schedules...
        Once tommorow and once on Friday. I was ok with his Friday plans (because of that excited cuteness factor lol) until he told me that Wednesday was going to be another celebration with yet another person who now knows.

        That was sort of the icing on the cake for me, especially since he hasnt mentioned anything about us doing something together for our anniversary :/

        I'm such a cry baby, but I feel like he's losing sight of me (HIS WIFE TO BE LOL) this week!

        #4 Kat81

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          Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:20 PM

          Oh, well I see where you are coming from. That would be frustrating! I say just let him know you are really excited about your anniversary and everything that lays ahead and you really want to spend a couple days together doing something special. If he sees it bothers you I am sure it will cut it back to one. And if not..........

          #5 Kat81

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            Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:21 PM

            PS I am sorry you haven't found your E ring yet...

            #6 ErinB

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              Posted 15 April 2008 - 03:22 PM

              Well, maybe he's ignoring you because he doesn't think of this as the REAL wedding, but a chance to hang out with friends...That's a really crappy excuse, but the best I could come up with!

              I think sometimes the boys get overwhelmed by all of the details and wedding planning and they just sort of act like idiots, just my opinion!

              #7 Hartyt509

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                Posted 15 April 2008 - 05:17 PM

                I think its not worth getting yourself all chewed up over - it's probably just a thick bloke thing (you know they never put their brains in gear before their mouths lol) and think how much you can make him suffer for doing it afterwards lol

                In actual fact he's probably not even thinking of it being his proper wedding day or that its your anniversary - if he did he'd be contrite.

                #8 jajajaja

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                  Posted 15 April 2008 - 05:27 PM

                  I don't know about anyone else but my DH and I get our wires crossed like this all the time. He blames it on miscommunication and I blame it on him for being an idiot. haha

                  I would just tell him you would like to do something to celebrate the anniversary and all these parties are kinda overshadowing it. He SHOULD get the hint, but since my man is typically clueless, I try not to beat around the bush.

                  I don't think he's doing it to be inconsiderate and unthoughtful. It just sounds like he's been a little forgetful to take care of his woman. Just give him a gentle nudge and if that doesn't work, smack him. :)

                  The last month prior to the wedding was really hard on us. We seemed to have little tiffs the WHOLE month. I think it was just anxiety and me being super stressed. After the wedding we have been in totally newlywed mood. Maybe it's the same for you guys?
                  Happily married since 2008

                  #9 Ana

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                  Posted 15 April 2008 - 05:46 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by LC_Rachel
                  I don't know about anyone else but my DH and I get our wires crossed like this all the time. He blames it on miscommunication and I blame it on him for being an idiot. haha

                  I would just tell him you would like to do something to celebrate the anniversary and all these parties are kinda overshadowing it. He SHOULD get the hint, but since my man is typically clueless, I try not to beat around the bush.

                  I don't think he's doing it to be inconsiderate and unthoughtful. It just sounds like he's been a little forgetful to take care of his woman. Just give him a gentle nudge and if that doesn't work, smack him. :)

                  The last month prior to the wedding was really hard on us. We seemed to have little tiffs the WHOLE month. I think it was just anxiety and me being super stressed. After the wedding we have been in totally newlywed mood. Maybe it's the same for you guys?
                  LOL!!! that's hillarious! u totally just described my relationship in one phrase.

                  As for the CC, I think that if I was in your case I would be a little irritated. I would just sit him down and explain to him how I felt and taken it from there. You have every right to want to spend time with him pre-anniversary.

                  #10 lilywu@ladhs.org

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                    Posted 15 April 2008 - 06:42 PM

                    Plumsugar,

                    I know what you mean and I totally understand your frustrations. I did the CC five days after I had my son. I was in sweats and he was in shorts. We did it mainly for insurance purposes and I didn't disclose it to any of my friends and family. But my FI/husband, whatever you want to call him ends up telling folks that we got married in Vegas and took the baby, etc...similar story. Til this day, I still get comments asking why I didn't say anything...well, HELLO!! I don't consider standing in front of Elvis was the actually ceremony.

                    It's been two years since we did the CC and now we're ready to have the ceremony this November. I guess the main person that doesn't know that we've did the CC is my mom - thank goodness!

                    Well, I say you try to make the best of it and don't stress out too much. I guess you can consider it another reason to throw yourself a party!!




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