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How do I include SIL's?


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#1 Celina

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    Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:10 PM

    Okay - FI is an only child. HOWEVER - he has grown up with two guys who are his BF's. (Their parents were BF's and had kids and the kids have been friends since birth) With Shawn being an only child, these guys are his brothers. I get along great with their wives. We are all aunts and uncles with everyone's kids. We spend every major holiday with them. They are pretty much the closest I'll ever get to having a sister in law. The wives are not in the wedding but the guys are.

    I feel like I really want to include the wives somehow like maybe in the ceremony. I was thinking maybe they could read a prayer or something. The thing is - I don't know what kind of prayer or reading to have them read together, or when to do it in the ceremony.

    Another thing - I haven't told anyone but you guys about my idea to do this. We are having a wedding party meeting at our house next weekend and I wanted to ask them then.

    Do you have any suggestions on what to have them read and when they should read it during the ceremony? Or any other way to include them?
    "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

    #2 lucy106

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      Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:14 PM

      If you are incorporating starfish you could have them read the symbolism behind the starfish and present them with starfish necklaces at your wedding party meeting. Or they could read about the sand ceremony if you are doing that.

      #3 JaimeLynne

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        Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:18 PM

        I'm not sure what to have them do, but I think that is sooo sweet of you! I felt pretty left out of FI's bros wedding because we are friends with both of them but I was not asked to be a part of it (obviously FI was). I know it's silly but I'm just saying this to let you know that they are really going to appreciate this! :)

        ~ Jaime & Martin ~
        "Rain or Swine! 2-0-0-9"

        We had 24 people attend our wedding in Las Caletas, Mexico on May 24th, 2009!

        We all stayed at The Marriott in P.V., and Honeymooned at The Royal Plantation in Ochos Rios, Jamaica!


        #4 BarbK

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          Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:21 PM

          I'm in the same boat. My sister is my MOH and we arent doing bridesmaids. I really want to incorporate my FI's sister but don't know what to do. I like the idea of incorporating her in a sand ceramony.

          #5 Maura

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          Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:23 PM

          readings is one good way to incorporate them, another would be to ask them to be personal attendants and then they get to sit in the front rows with family. they can help you with whatever your BMs cant, run errands the day of, make sure everything is going smoothly etc etc, take care of making sure programs are in the right place, making sure the decorations look good, etc

          #6 becks

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          Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:48 PM

          I did a reading at a wedding once that I thought was really special. It was from "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams:

          "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

          "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

          "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

          "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

          "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

          "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

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          #7 dragonfly

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            Posted 11 April 2008 - 12:58 PM

            Since our children were our wedding party and we still wanted to include our 3 siblings we had them stand up at the beginning of the ceremony and they each read a passage of an irish blessing.

            Here are a couple to give you an idea
            An Old Irish Blessing
            May love and laughter light your days,
            and warm your heart and home.
            May good and faithful friends be yours,
            wherever you may roam.
            May peace and plenty bless your world
            with joy that long endures.
            May all life's passing seasons
            bring the best to you and yours!

            May the blessing of the rain be on you—
            the soft sweet rain.
            May it fall upon your spirit
            so that all the little flowers may spring up,
            and shed their sweetness on the air.
            May the blessing of the great rains be on you,
            may they beat upon your spirit
            and wash it fair and clean,
            and leave there many a shining pool
            where the blue of heaven shines,
            and sometimes a star.

            #8 Maura

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            Posted 11 April 2008 - 01:03 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by becks
            I did a reading at a wedding once that I thought was really special. It was from "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams:

            "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

            "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

            "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

            "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

            "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

            "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
            that is so beautiful rebecca, i have tears in my eyes. i feel like such a sap!

            #9 Bride010101

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              Posted 11 April 2008 - 01:05 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by becks
              I did a reading at a wedding once that I thought was really special. It was from "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams:

              "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

              "Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

              "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

              "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

              "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

              "It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
              I love this quote! I have always been a fan of quotes and lyrics... and used to collect those that I liked the best. This one has always been at the top of my list. I never thought of incorporating it into the wedding... what a great idea!

              #10 monicaswave

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                Posted 11 April 2008 - 01:07 PM

                I'd be curious to get ideas too. I really want my future SIL to be a part of the weddign too!




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