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Reasons I regret asking my sister to be my MOH (LONG vent)

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64 replies to this topic

#21 Sarah


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    Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:01 PM

    I like your plan Maura. She doesn't deserve to be in your wedding. But since you have to keep her there to keep the peace, I totally agree that you should let your friend know she's been upgraded, and not tell your sister. Heck, she's so self-centered she probably won't even read your programs. Then she'll never know...

    I'm sorry your family is so difficult. We got the same runaround from my FIL's. In the end they were so happy we did a DW. Yours will come around. Probably not until after the wedding, but they will...

    #22 Nrvsbride

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      Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:03 PM

      Maura no offense but based on the IM convo it seems like your sister is passive-agressive. That drives me insane! I would rather someone just be an outright bitch and say "Maura I'm not going to your showers or your wedding, b/c it costs too much" At least then you know where someone stands.

      I'm sorry your going through all this trouble. You know that if you need help with anything I would be more than happy to help you. I can make phone calls, stuff envelopes, whatever you need. I'm not so crafty but I'm pretty darn organized. So let me know if you want me to help you.

      I think your plan is a good one. I admit that I wouldn't be able to demote my sister no matter how mean she was to me, but I think by not telling her you will avoid a huge headache from your family. Hopefully she'll be able to make it and then you won't have to worry about all this.

      #23 Jacqueline

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        Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:03 PM

        Originally Posted by carly
        Blahahaa - "She is my sister and I am close to her even though I feel like smothering her in her sleep sometimes." I missed you, Rach!
        blahah that is pretty funny ahahahhahahahaha

        #24 ~Melissa~


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        Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:04 PM

        From her IM conversation with you, it looks as if she really doesn't care about this wedding. From her actions thus far it isn't important to her. This is very sad and unfortunate. My heart goes out to you because it must hurt like a B*^$#!

        I like the advice the rest of the girls gave... let your BM know whats going on and ask her to be your honorary MOH. Screw everyone else! Seriously they obviously have more important things than participating in their loved ones wedding. Sorry if hat sounds harsh but these people really need to grow up IMO.

        Hang in there, so far you're being really strong. Keep it up. We're here for you

        #25 Hartyt509

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          Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:05 PM

          God that is so awful that you've gotta put up with this crap.

          I'm an only child "thank god!" but my FI always says about one of his sisters "I love her she's my sister, but I don't like her" can't say fairer than that.

          If she misses the wedding its her loss you cant hand hold her anymore she is 22 ffs xx

          #26 Allaballa

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            Posted 10 April 2008 - 03:47 PM

            Its so sad to say but the joy of us getting married is not shared by everyone. To some its a "have to" attend and an inconvinience. If my sister said "why didn't you just get married in_____" I would be very disapointed.

            My FIL made a few comments about our DW and I just said that attendance is welcome but by no means manditory and the wedding will go on with or without you.

            It just sucks that people are vocally inconvinienced by our decisions. My take is that if I didn't ask for your opinion I frankly don't give two craps about what you think so please don't share with me.

            A DW is a very unique experience in that you trully get to see who will do what for you. As one of my friends put it, if someone really wanted to come they could have put away $50 a month to do it. Most people can afford that.

            #27 hollisandsteph

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              Posted 10 April 2008 - 04:24 PM

              Originally Posted by Kat81
              Maura, this is horrible. I can't believe she is treating you like that. Maybe she is slightly jealous? Or your Mom has been feeding her a lot of bull? What do you think about bumping your friend to MOH and your sis down to BM then if she doesn't show up... then she doesn't show up. You need someone supporting you to be there for you!! I wish there was something I could do or say... this sucks.
              I was going to say the same thing- Bump her. Then if she chooses not to be in the wedding it falls on her shoulders not yours. I am sorry this has become suchs a stressful situation for you in the mist of what should be an exciting time. Just relax and remember YOU are getting married and YOU are planning this for you and your fiancee', not for everyone else. I know it sucks when it comes to family but really it is thier loss and they will regret thier behaviori in the future!

              #28 Celina

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                Posted 10 April 2008 - 04:57 PM

                Originally Posted by Allaballa
                My FIL made a few comments about our DW and I just said that attendance is welcome but by no means manditory and the wedding will go on with or without you.
                ...OOoohhh..I LOVE THAT LINE! - (and will use it in the future)

                Maura, us and our families! Your sis was driving me nuts with her responses in the PM's. It sounds obvious that your wedding is not important to her and she isn't really interested. Do yourself a favor and just ignore her. Go ahead with your plans to tell your BF about your decision to make her MOH. I wouldn't even talk to your sister about it OR the wedding.

                When she is interested she'll call you - if she doesn't need to get a financial bail out by then. I don't mean to sound so mean but I am so upset that the people closest to you are the ones that hurt you the most. She will be the one who regrets it when she decides to get married.

                I'm sorry you are going through this. Take care!
                "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

                #29 Alyssa

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                  Posted 10 April 2008 - 05:21 PM

                  i did not read anyone else's response. first, i am sorry that your sister is so immature and selfish . that sucks.
                  i think it is time you let you of all of your expectation of who 'they should be' and accept them for who they are (them being your mom, sister and that side of your family). if i was you, i would tell sister that you would like her to be a BM b/c she is your sister but the MOH role has a lot more duties and resonsbility and b/c of $ and time, you are asking your BF. make it about time and $ and not your relationship, you can get into all that after the wedding. the most important thing now is that you are surrounded by people who are supportive and caring. this really sucks and i am really sorry! xoxo

                  #30 Christine

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                  Posted 10 April 2008 - 05:25 PM

                  Maura I have nothing to say but I am so incredibly sorry, she is really being immature and rude to you, you deserve better.
                  Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

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