Reasons I regret asking my sister to be my MOH (LONG vent)

[Jenn3878]

WOW Maura, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through with your sister. I am going through a similar situation with my sister who is my MOH. I honestly think she is jealous of you.

 

My sister was going to get married in PR 2 years ago until she got prego and wanted to get married right away at home and she had the cojones to bad talk me and my FI for doing a DW when she was the first person I was worried couldn't afford to go, so I talked to my Dad and he is going to pay for her trip to go?!

 

Unlike you I dont have any conjones and haven't talked to her about her lack of participation in my wedding so I commend you on what you have said to her! YOU GO GIRL! Drop her like bad habit and get someone who is supportive of you! Now if only I could take my own advice!

[Leia78]

Oh Mauira, I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this drama. Maybe your sister is jealous...that's why she's acting this way. That's still no excuse for acting so inconsiderate and selfish!

[beachbride08]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this Maura. How old is your sister? I'm not sure what to say, but I would definitely stop bailing her out. You seem like such a sweet and caring person and she is taking advantage of that. I think I would give her an option to bow down from her MOH role if she continues to be difficult and not willing to participate, that way you are not really "kicking her out", but giving her the choice to exclude herself. Good luck with whatever happens and know we are here if you need to vent.

[angitalia23]

Im so sorry Maura, its not easy dealing a sister sometimes let alone when shes not helping you with anything. After reading your thread...it made me realize how little my sister (also my MOH) is doing. I have not asked her to do a thing except make a phone call for the limo for my bacholorette party, she still hasnt and the invites are already out (my friend did them). When I showed her my fans for the ceremony...she commented "you know fans make you hotter when your hot"...ya it didnt make sense but I was so excited and I didnt get a compliment. She is one of my best friends but we still argue and basically its like pulling teeth to get her to do anything. Im just telling you sometimes sisters are lazy and upsetting but they are still your sisters and you probably will not regret having her as your maid of honor no matter how little she has done. Im sure you love her and she loves you, but their still is no excuse for her actions but I guess at this point you just have to blow it off...well because she probably wont change. I hope she comes to your wedding and I hope she starts to help out, if not rely on your friends it sounds like they are more than willing to help. Regardless, let me know if you need anything! It will be okay..I promise

[katrina]

aww m, i'm sorry for this. just make sure you do what is right for you!!

[jamisoncollette]

Often times it is our families that make us feel the worse. Maura, you already have a great plan to bump your sister and utilize your best friend who has been available to you all along. Don't feel guilty over your decision, its best for you and everyone else. Glenda's right, your sister is being passive-aggressive. Take the power away from her and your mom, remember life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Just smile, know you have made sound decisions, and limit contact to what is healthy for you. Ok, done with therapy now. Tell the selfish twit to get over herself!

[amyh]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamisoncollette Often times it is our families that make us feel the worse. Maura, you already have a great plan to bump your sister and utilize your best friend who has been available to you all along. Don't feel guilty over your decision, its best for you and everyone else. Glenda's right, your sister is being passive-aggressive. Take the power away from her and your mom, remember life is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. Just smile, know you have made sound decisions, and limit contact to what is healthy for you. Ok, done with therapy now. Tell the selfish twit to get over herself!

Great advice! Maura, I don't have any sisters so I wish I had some advice for you. I worked backwards, made all my BM - MOH's to avoid this problem.

[Bride010101]

Maura! I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. It sounds like your mom's side has given you enough issues - that your sister would realize and step up to fill some of the gap. I know she's just "22"... but as someone who's 22 I want to say grow up! Yes I know that I defintely still have my immature, high school moments... but at the same time we are old enough to take some responsibility for our lives and our obligations!

 

Only you can decide what is the right solution. But from the sounds of it, your plan seems like the way to go. Your friend will be so honored to be your MoH! and it sounds like she defintely deserves it. I wish you luck!

[beckyandbrian]

I am so very sorry that you are going through this! I know how you feel and it is absolutely the worst feeling in the world to feel that no one is supporting you in the decision that is the most important you will ever make. It is YOUR day and you have to unfortunately let go of what every other person thinks or feels and just go forward with what you want. We only had seven guests at our wedding and in the end that was fine by me. My sister came alone without her husband or children and complained that I was having my wedding at an adult only resort (although the sister resort next door was kid friendly and children were allowed at the wedding and reception). DH's family thought the world was literally OVER when we told them we were getting married in Mexio and had no problem telling us exactly how they felt. The people that could absolutely afford it wouldn't even think of spending their money on our wedding. There is always a way for people to plan for things and to make it if it is a priority to them and, if it is not a priority, they need to just quit giving their opinions. This is all about what you and your FI want to do. The really bad part of it all is that you have to just finally say you don't give a crap about any of their problems or opinions with your wedding.

 

You will have an AMAZING wedding and never regret for one minute your choice to have a DW. It will be beautiful!

[MelanieS]

Maura, how much do you REALLY want your sister to be you MOH? Just to keep peace in the family? Because you feel obligated? If the answers to these are yes, then ask your BF to step in. Your sister is so self-involved she probably won't even realize she's not MOH, even on the outside chance she goes to the wedding.

 

You've learned, as Mandy did, that people will quickly say they are coming to your wedding, but when it comes to putting your money where your mouth is, they will make all kinds of flimsy excuses as to why it is more imperative for them to stay home than to attend the most important event of your life. They will carry on with their artificially busy lives, oblivous to your feelings.

 

In the end, you will be married to a wonderful and caring man, who you have no doubt will support you in every way, and you are blessed with the gift of his family who obviously think the world of you and would do anything for you. Go forward from here, concentrate on YOU and Jose, and make these happy times.