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Is anyone having second thoughts?

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#1 PrecisePlans

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    Posted 07 April 2008 - 09:46 PM

    Me and FI have been bickering alot lately and I think that i'm having pre-marital jitters. We had a looonnnnggg 5 year engagement (my choice) and I finally decided Dec 06 that it was time to get on the ball with planning and setting a date.....now that we have less than a month left, I'm starting to question myself.

    i dunno......i'm rambling right now. Anybody else feel this way?

    #2 dragonfly

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      Posted 07 April 2008 - 09:55 PM

      I think we can all have doubts, I myself was content for a very long time to not be married, Everton was not. It is a a huge step you are taking, but really you have been together 5 years and you love each other, do you see yourself with anyone else? If not, then marriage is really just a public declaration of the committment you already have with one another. I also think bickering right before the wedding sometimes goes hand in hand with each other. Remember you are under much stress with the planning of a wedding, the travel, and the cost. Trust that your original feelings of wanting to marry this man were the right ones. Breath and maybe take a night from wedding planning for some alone time with your fh to remember why your doing this in the first place:) hugs to you~

      #3 ErinB


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        Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:01 PM

        I feel that way sometimes too. I chalk it up to jitters. We are from very different backgrounds and each of us had a different idea of what out adult lives would be going into this. I truly love my Fi for all that he is and all that he is not. I tend to get too caught up in propriety and what other people think, whereas he could care less. He really does keep me grounded.

        As much as he drives me crazy, I know he will make a good husband and father.

        From what everyone else has told me, this is COMPLETELY NORMAL. You are about to make a huge step in your life and it is natural to question it. It would be the same if you were to take a new job, buy a new house, etc. There is a reason you wanted to marry this man, so remember that and take comfort in it.

        Once the wedding is over you will both be ready to move forward!

        #4 Christine

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        Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:06 PM

        I have to agree with Kelly, do you see yourself with anyone else, can you imagine your life with out him? Its just jitters.
        Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

        #5 StephanieMN

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          Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:17 PM

          I feel your pain. I am kind of doing the same thing and our wedding dates are fast approaching. I agree with Kelly and Christine in that you have to just imagine your life with out them to see what that feels like, if you panic that is good. That is how I have been judging my chilled feet, do I get misty eyed at the thought of loosing him? YES!

          I know it is really hard to be in the situation but I am starting to see it is very healthy to question things, even at this stage. It means you are independent enough to have your own brain :)

          #6 PrecisePlans

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            Posted 07 April 2008 - 10:44 PM

            what did i ever do before coming to BDW. Thank you ladies. I'm going to take some time to reflect tonight. It's almost like I'm seeing things that I never have before (discovering his "porn" stash, overheard him on the phone talking to his brother about "hitting up a club" while we are in JAMAICA for our WEDDING & HONEYMOON) and various other things. I'm just feeling very confused and emotional right now. Looking at the bigger picture, I know that he is a good man and no........i can't really picture myself with anyone else.....nor would i want to.

            #7 Karen

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              Posted 08 April 2008 - 07:51 AM

              Your jitters are totally normal and in a way a good thing. It shows that you know what a huge step this is and what an incredibly big commitment you are about to take. You also sound like you are felling a little vulnerable. Again very normal. Of course if you have any serious concerns now is the time to discuss them with your FI. As much as I love Jay and can't imagine my life without him, I was scared and nervous. Then our wedding day came and I felt absolute peace and certainty that he was who I wanted to spend my life with. Good Luck and try to relax.
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              #8 BarefootBride

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                Posted 08 April 2008 - 08:09 AM

                md_ocr, As far as the differences you are having, have you tried meeting him half way? Or is some of his behavior things you can not tolerate or will not settle for? If so, I would reconsider. But once you are married there is not turning back. I think it is normal to get nervous. I just think I have a different thinking about relationships. I can see myself totally without FI, I can see myself single, but my FI and I together have become such a strong entity, yet we are still individual and he has made me such a better individual at that. So in my opinion, if you think you are a better person because of him then I say not to worry!

                #9 mrsmaxx2b

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                  Posted 19 August 2010 - 12:07 PM

                  Reading ths post has been like a breath of fresh air, as i am currently having "jitters".

                  #10 rkingtx

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                    Posted 21 August 2010 - 06:31 PM

                    I sometimes wonder if I really want to get married. I've been with my FI for 8 years but only engaged for 5 months. I don't see myself with anyone else I just freak out a little of knowing I'm legally bound to someone!

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