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Rehearsal Dinner?


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#1 KellyandMatt08

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    Posted 07 April 2008 - 12:50 PM

    My FMIL is planning the Rehearsal Dinner for the day before the wedding. She only wants to include the bridal party and parents (20 people she estimates). However, there will be at least 35 people (55 total coming)at the hotel at this time. Do you think that the other 15 people are going to care or do you think they probably expect not to be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

    She gave us the option to either a) have the dinner at the restaurant she has chosen or B) take the money.

    I have a feeling that if we take the money...

    HELP!

    #2 StephanieMN

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      Posted 07 April 2008 - 12:52 PM

      Ohh that's tricky. What about inviting the bridal party to the dinner and inviting the other guests down after dinner for a cocktail? Kind of a meet and greet.

      #3 alex

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        Posted 07 April 2008 - 12:53 PM

        If I were in the shoes of the other guests who wouldn't be included in the Rehearsal Dinner I honestly wouldn't be offended in the least!!
        If they're not an important part of the wedding (meaning they don't have a specific role to play that would need direction, etc) then they won't miss anything by not being there. I also can't imagine any of my friends or family being offended in the same situation.

        #4 nikkianddean

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          Posted 07 April 2008 - 12:59 PM

          Yeah, I don't think I would be offended as a guest. I think if you host something informal like cocktails that would be totally appropriate!
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          #5 Yari

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            Posted 07 April 2008 - 12:59 PM

            I am in the same problem. My FI and I decided that we will go ahead with the rehearsal dinner with just the bridal party and immediate family. We are going to do a welcome happy hour for everyone the day before the wedding.

            #6 ACDCDCAC

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            Posted 07 April 2008 - 01:27 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by StephanieMN
            Ohh that's tricky. What about inviting the bridal party to the dinner and inviting the other guests down after dinner for a cocktail? Kind of a meet and greet.
            I like this idea :)

            #7 Maura

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            Posted 07 April 2008 - 01:30 PM

            traditionally, the rehearsal dinner is only for the bridal party and immediate family. guests should never expect to be invited to the RD. i like steph's idea of asking them to join you later for a cocktail.

            #8 KellyandMatt08

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              Posted 07 April 2008 - 02:03 PM

              I like the cocktails idea! Is this something that we would pay for or do we just mention that we are going 'here' for drinks afterwards and everyone is welcome to join us? I was thinking one of the local bars to go to.

              #9 Maura

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              Posted 07 April 2008 - 02:09 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by KellyandMatt08
              I like the cocktails idea! Is this something that we would pay for or do we just mention that we are going 'here' for drinks afterwards and everyone is welcome to join us? I was thinking one of the local bars to go to.
              just say we're going to XYZ place for cocktails, if you'd like to stop by and say hello, we would love to see you etc etc

              that way it doesnt imply youre paying, and people shouldnt expect you to pay anyway.

              we're doing the same deal, after the RD, telling guests we will be at the lobby bar or whatever having drinks, and theyre more than welcome to stop by to say hi before the big day

              #10 lucy106

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                Posted 07 April 2008 - 02:50 PM

                I agree, no need to pay for the drinks just make it a very casual invite. That way you do not feel obligated to pay and they do not feel obligated to attend. But great idea to do a cocktail meet n greet after the RD.




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