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Maura

Shower Gift from Bridesmaids!

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My goodness! Did MOH discuss any of this with anyone before she decided what the gifts were? because... ouch!

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I'm sorry but that sounds insane! Did the girl even consult all the BMs about this $1000 gift certificate? I personally would feel bad if my BMs spent that much on me after they have already forked out $$$ to be part of the wedding.

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Originally Posted by MoWife View Post
That is a list of gifts that we are giving the bride from the 5 brides maids the bears, tank top, manicure/pedicure, beach towels, frame, and whopping $1000.00 Liberty Travel gift certificate to put towards her honeymoon.
im sorry but thats fucking ridiculous!

WHY are you giving her so many gifts?! it is really lofty of the MOH to assume everyone can afford to shell out all that money in the first place. that is EXTREMELY EXTRAVAGANT for a SHOWER GIFT. i think $100 is even a little too generous for a shower gift when youre giving so much other stuff. if i were you, i would tell the MOH thanks but no thanks, im going to give a separate gift.

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Originally Posted by MoWife View Post
Originally I agreed to send the MOH the $250.00. I figured that $200.00-$250.00 was about average for each girl to put in for the shower plus the gift. Then I realized on top of this we were buying alcohol and purchasing a gift for the hostess. I thought this is getting out of hand and that those gifts were thought up by the MOH and are extremely extravagant. So I sent an email saying so. The MOH got a bit annoyed with me because she said I already agreed to it and she already purchased some of the gifts. And another BM wrote me a nasty email saying that the bride put in that much money for her shower and she knows she put in over $200.00 for my shower and that the bride is her best friend and she thinks she deserves something nice. She also went on to say that the bride will eventually find out that her mother paid for the shower and want to know why we didn't put in more money!?!?! I sincerely hope that's not true.

OMG!!! This is ridiculous. I would hope that your friend would not be offended about the money that you spend. It should not be about that. I looked at my showers as time to spend with others, and everything else was icing on the cake. I really think those gifts are outrageous. Spending $250/person would only make sense if you were doing everything. There is no sense in spending that kind of money when the food is already taken care of. Plus, if the whole reason was to save the BMs money, then none of this makes any sense.

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What nerve that the BM's are sending you nasty emails. Crazy!

 

I do think it's a lot of money, but I would just bite the bullet and pay.

 

This exact thing happened at a good friend's baby shower. We spilt it 6 ways and it came out to over $200. It was a lot of money, but was worth it at the end.

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Originally Posted by MoWife View Post
Originally I agreed to send the MOH the $250.00. I figured that $200.00-$250.00 was about average for each girl to put in for the shower plus the gift. Then I realized on top of this we were buying alcohol and purchasing a gift for the hostess. I thought this is getting out of hand and that those gifts were thought up by the MOH and are extremely extravagant. So I sent an email saying so. The MOH got a bit annoyed with me because she said I already agreed to it and she already purchased some of the gifts. And another BM wrote me a nasty email saying that the bride put in that much money for her shower and she knows she put in over $200.00 for my shower and that the bride is her best friend and she thinks she deserves something nice. She also went on to say that the bride will eventually find out that her mother paid for the shower and want to know why we didn't put in more money!?!?! I sincerely hope that's not true.
Ok, these girls are out of control. First of all, that amount of money may not be in every BMs budget and they are out of line to get an attitude about how much money someone is comfortable spending. 2nd, they have no business speaking for the bride. She may not care at all about who spent how much on what. Real friends don't operate tit-for-tat. Whatever the bride spent previously was her choice and I doubt she has the expectation that the exact same amount of money be returned in gifts to her. That's just insane.

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I would seriously tell her to poke it - who they hell are they to get on your case about what you spend. They don't know your financial circumstances and if the bride is the type of person that wants back what she gives I wouldn't want her as a friend.

 

Maybe speak to the bride's mother she seems nice and see what she says

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