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NewOrleansbride

Who makes the guest list?

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I agree invite who you and your FI want. I know it's hard (I am in the same situation), but I am sticking to my guns.

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Originally Posted by timelsel View Post
Are you having an AHR? If so, then maybe you can expand the guest list to include more of your FMIL's friends that way. My daughter is having a small wedding with 18 guests, but for the reception later we are sending out 230 invites. I agree that you shouldn't have to invite anyone other than those you truly want to be at your wedding.
We had not planned on having one. We're expecting about 80 people at the wedding (which is already double what we had originally said we wanted) and we don't want the additional cost. We did mention to fmil that if she would like to host a reception when we return so all of her friends can celebrate with us we are totally cool with that - we just don't want to get stuck with a bill for a party that we really don't feel the need to have.

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My Mom has been the same way, implying that we're committing some huge etiquette taboo because we're only inviting immediate family and close friends. She's so mad that we're not inviting aunts and uncles, because she's very close to one of her sisters. I barely know my aunt, but apparently that's irrelevant! My Mom tried to get around the "you're not paying" argument, by she and my Dad giving us $2,000 toward the wedding. My Dad then turned around and told us it was an engagement gift LOL! My Mom was a huge PITA with my sister's wedding, and what we learned from watching my sister and my BIL is that every time they gave in on something with her, then she just found a new thing that she didn't like and was mad about! We decided to just nip it in the bud and put our feet down about the first thing that she tried to control. We have resolved not to give in on the guest list and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to come (knowing full well, there's no way she wouldn't come!). I'm picking my battles with her by sticking up for us on the first thing, and then she'll just focus on that and not get around to getting mad about the next thing she would have tried to control if she had gotten her way! I think people will always try to control your wedding if you let them.

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It's about to happen with my wedding too. The FMIL doesn't know yet but FI is ready and waiting as she will be a PITA guaranteed with a massive list of who she wants. She is paying nothing towards the wedding so she can get stuffed about what she wants. She's organised 3 weddings, not including her numerous own!!, and they've all had people there who are her friends. Shit broke into a rant lol

 

End of the day its your wedding you invite who you want and if people don't like it tough! stand firm and don't let the bastards grind you down lol

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We decided that instead of having an engagement party we would have a post wedding reception for everybody that cannot make it to Mexico... however, I am still being given addresses and names of people that "have" to be invited to the wedding (these are now coming from grandparents). I almost broke down yesterday as FI and I were driving back from TX because it is becoming so overwhelming. It really shouldn't be this hard. It could be very simple.

 

It's reallly not even about the budget and spending more money, it's about not having the small and intimate wedding that we want.

 

One of our good friends that we saw while we were in TX asked about the plans and if we were having fun with it and I said that if I could start over from the beginning I would do it all differently. She asked how, and FI and I both said at the same time "we'd elope". LOL!!

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Originally Posted by NewOrleansbride View Post
One of our good friends that we saw while we were in TX asked about the plans and if we were having fun with it and I said that if I could start over from the beginning I would do it all differently. She asked how, and FI and I both said at the same time "we'd elope". LOL!!
So do it lol if its stressing you out that much just go away don't tell anyone and do it lol when they moan about it say well its your own fault if you hadn't given us so much grief you'd have been involved lol think you just answered your own question lol

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