I Gotta Personal Question/Problem ~ Women

[Spazz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LALA For real! We'll totally joke now - like "ooo baby it's so sexy when you lock the crying dogs out of our bedroom". Then we're laughing, then it's relaxed, then it's fun. You just have to get the stress and anxiety that surrounds it (especially when it's been a while) to go away. Laughing always works for us.

This sounds like my life exactly!!! How are you supposed to get in the mood when the dog is crying outside of the bedroom door? So it's always pretty comical.

[Kristy!]

I actually have the opposite problem. I want it all the time and FI is fine with once every week or two. It's drives me crazy!

[monicaswave]

Ok I've been on both ends of the spectrum so I can really relate.

 

In my previous relationship my sex drive became really really low after a year or so and I consulted my Dr. She basically told me one of the same things I heard on this thread about it all being pshycological and blah blah. I was certain it wasn't in my head and begged her for some female viagra or something of that sort. She explained that at that time there wasn't anything like that available in the market. I had a feeling my BC was causing the low sex drive so I got off it and waaa laaaah.....my sex drive came back!!!!

 

Since then I swore to never use BC again....at least the pills. I hate how it makes me feel and I love to have my sex drive back.

 

So now I'm in a this wonderful relationship with the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with and I have the opposite problem. I feel like I want it all the time and it drives me insane that he doesn't. I try to be really understanding since I know what it's like to have a low sex drive but he is a guy and I thought guys don't have this problem so it drives me nuts. I seriously don't know what the problem is. I feel like if it wasn't because I always start and initiate things we would never ever have sex and he wouldn't care. Most of the time I do start things he does follow but I would really really really want him to initiate things at times. The few times he does initiate things is in the middle of the night after we go out and I'm sound asleep. Don't get me wrong I would love to wake up and get it on but most of the time I am so deep into my sleep I blow him off without even realizing it. I'm a very deep sleeper so I suggested he try in the morning or when I'm awake and no change.

 

I constantly feel really insecure and wonder if he continues to find me attractive. I haven't gained any weight since we started dating and I am constantly working out and taking care of myself. I have even nicely talked to him and told him my concerns. He keeps reassuring me it's not me but then he doesn't make an effort .

 

Oh and the text message thing....I actually do that all the time and I rarely get a response!!!! I don't blame him about it much since I know he is usually super busy at work and doesn't have time to respond so I just blow it off but now I'm wondering if I should be concerned.

 

Am I crazy

[Saraha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by froggie1013 I actually have the opposite problem. I want it all the time and FI is fine with once every week or two. It's drives me crazy!

wow must be nice )

[monicaswave]

Quote:

Originally Posted by froggie1013 I actually have the opposite problem. I want it all the time and FI is fine with once every week or two. It's drives me crazy!

Wow I just saw your response....you are in the same boat as me. Good...I thought I was alone.

[Kat81]

Ok I've been on both ends of the spectrum so I can really relate.

 

In my previous relationship my sex drive became really really low after a year or so and I consulted my Dr. She basically told me one of the same things I heard on this thread about it all being pshycological and blah blah. I was certain it wasn't in my head and begged her for some female viagra or something of that sort. She explained that at that time there wasn't anything like that available in the market. I had a feeling my BC was causing the low sex drive so I got off it and waaa laaaah.....my sex drive came back!!!!

 

QUOTE]

I have heard this happens to guys. Their sex drives come and go. Especially when they are stressed. Maybe the stress of making money for the wedding and starting a life with you has put a strain on his sex life. I am sure he finds you way attractive it's just personal that he is like that.

[JennyK]

I also have this problem. Actually it was one of the few reasons I went off of BC. It happened when I was on the Nuvaring and a few different types of pills. It really sucked bc I never thought I'd be the kind of stereotype to "fake being asleep" just to get out of it lol Sometimes I think it's just pure lazyness on my part.

[Rachelle E.]

Quote:

I seriously don't know what the problem is. I feel like if it wasn't because I always start and initiate things we would never ever have sex and he wouldn't care. Most of the time I do start things he does follow but I would really really really want him to initiate things at times. The few times he does initiate things is in the middle of the night after we go out and I'm sound asleep. Don't get me wrong I would love to wake up and get it on but most of the time I am so deep into my sleep I blow him off without even realizing it. I'm a very deep sleeper so I suggested he try in the morning or when I'm awake and no change. I constantly feel really insecure and wonder if he continues to find me attractive. I haven't gained any weight since we started dating and I am constantly working out and taking care of myself. I have even nicely talked to him and told him my concerns

Oh I SO feel you on this!!! This is totally our issue and it was even when I was on BC...that totally didn't affect my drive at all. Like I think that every other day or every couple days is a good compromise...and he can go for longer w/ no problem! I don't understand it at all. I mean, if we get to about a week or so, he's definitely ready for it...so it's not like an issue of going weeks at a time or anything...but still. It's hard. and easily 9 times out of 10 I end up initiating because I get tired of waiting for him. But then that sucks 'cause I feel like it's always me making the effort. And I'm a big fan of the flirtatious email or text...but that doesn't always do the trick.

Anyway, this is something that DH and I talk about...and have talked about several times. I can see some areas where he has made some changes/improvments...and I've tried to do the same so we can meet in the middle somewhere. But yeah, it's still frustrating sometimes. And as a girl you feel like you're a freak 'cause most girls you talk to are always griping about how their BF/DH wants it all the time and they don't etc. And there seems to be less discussion of the opposite problem.

So yeah, you're not alone! ;-)

[Kristy!]

monicaswave you have described our relatinoship to a T. The only difference is that I sometimes get turned down! He likes it better when he initiates it. The only way I can get things going but trick him into thinking he actually starts it is by wearing lingerie. He's always been like this, so I doubt it's going to change. Grrrr...

[Saraha]

GEEEZZZZ these stories are making me so freaking jealous!!!