I Gotta Personal Question/Problem ~ Women

[Saraha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adinu I totally understand what you mean. The funny thing is that I don't think that our FI's and husbands see us the way we see ourselves. We're way more critical than other people, and we focus on the little things, that otherwise would go unnoticed. I think that's why my FI and I argue about it, he doesn't understand why I don't think I'm attractive when he thinks that I am. I'm sure its the same for all of you girls. Your men find you irresistable and that's awesome! If only we could somehow see ourselves through their eyes

Exactly.....
And I hate being one of those girls thats always saying their fat and gross and on and on and on when they arent obese or severly overweight. I know now not to say comments or anything about my body because it just sounds like Im one of those size 0 girls saying their fat for attention... I always get yelled at by my FI. But truthfully Im NOT comfortable in my body and never really have. And coming from someone who does have a good perception of their body (FI) then its hard for them to understand.... Of course they tink your sexy... But its hard for them to understand why you dont think you are.

[Saraha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alyssa Sarah, I think all of us go through this at different points in our relationships - FI and I have been together for almost 5 yeas and drives come and go and go up and down. I agree that BC can definitely affect your libido but for me personally, exercising and eating healthy make ALL the difference. If i don't feel Hot, I am just not that into it. A

I know I completely agree. Im the heaviest and out of shape that I have ever been... jsut worries me that if Im like this now than I have NOOOO luck in the future LOL

[Kryztan]

One of my girls was having the same problem. She thought that it was the birth control so I suggested that she switch. She all of the sudden bounced back into her old self. You dont always have to go completely off of the pill to change your sex drive. Ask your doc to switch it up, some will change hormone production which will make a difference.

Your gonna laugh...but I am a psych major earning my masters and soon phd it is actually psychological, that is unless you are not at all interested and not attracted to your Fi which obviously isnt the prob.

Some people think psych is fake, but seriously try to telling yourself you are horny and then think about how attractive your Fi is.....Honestly this should help and dont be afraid to switch the contraceptive.. Let me know if this helps at all. Also switch up everything, change foreplay etc.

[Dbell]

I totally agree withthe ladies - when I went off the BC pills, my sex drive increased and my attitude about sex and my appearance was more relaxed. Never thought something could alter your sex drive and mood in such a way as they did when I started taking them.

[Saraha]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kryztan One of my girls was having the same problem. She thought that it was the birth control so I suggested that she switch. She all of the sudden bounced back into her old self. You dont always have to go completely off of the pill to change your sex drive. Ask your doc to switch it up, some will change hormone production which will make a difference. Your gonna laugh...but I am a psych major earning my masters and soon phd it is actually psychological, that is unless you are not at all interested and not attracted to your Fi which obviously isnt the prob. Some people think psych is fake, but seriously try to telling yourself you are horny and then think about how attractive your Fi is.....Honestly this should help and dont be afraid to switch the contraceptive.. Let me know if this helps at all. Also switch up everything, change foreplay etc.

No I completely can see how that would help. I used to have to do that to myself for public speaking LOL I would have to say it tomyself all the time.... its no big deal, Im not nervous and would seriouly help so I will have to try that out.

[JaimeLynne]

I have also been experiencing this and wondering what the heck is wrong with me?!? We've been together for only 2.5 years now. I do think it has a TON to do with emotional issues - we've both had so much stress in our lives recently and I have also been sick a lot so I'm sure that does nothing for sex drive. Right now I am reading "Venus & Mars in the Bedroom". It's a good book - interesting read, and is helping me understand a lot about both men and women and how they deal with sex. It's amazing how we each look at it from a completely different viewpoint most of the time!

 

I'm also getting back into exercising and eating better + supplements/vitamins. I gained about 30 lbs since we started dating (OUCH!). I've since lost about 15. Gonna stick with it and get back into healthy mental and physical shape and pray for the best!

[Betsy]

I totally agree!! When I feel fat and gross the last thing I want to do is hop on top if you know what I mean! I think that is exactly what's going on here! I am like Lizzy too - if I have some drinks then I am fine - no problem - but otherwise I just sometimes feel too gross to do it. Which our men don't understand at all! Which is a sweet thing actually! What has helped me is buying some cute jammies (not just lingerie but cute things that make me look better IMO) Seriously - that way I am not crashing out in big old sweatpants and a tshirt - it helps us anyways. And of course exercising and eating right seem to always boost my self-esteem. It's just hard when I don't feel like it! You are definitly NOT alone though! I think every couple goes through this!

[Mel]

Thanks for getting the courage to ask this. I am experiencing the same thing and thought that I'm doomed if i'm so young and have little libido. FI and I would have arguements about this and it would always be "you don't find me attractive...blah blah blah" and I would try to explain it to him and he just wouldn't understand. I couldn't get my BC filled in time for me to use it so for the last 2 weeks I haven't been taking it and wow...I haven't been this way since I met FI and not just sexual desire but even my mood's. I use to be carefree and more fun, but once I started taking BC I got serious and lost my desire. I also had/have a problem with that I would get pains at time that would literally bring me to tears while we were doing stuff. I don't get them as bad anymore but I know for a while I would not want to have sex because I thought about the times it would hurt and then it would turn me off. Dr. said it was b/c I'm too small and will have to wait until I have a kid and get "stretched out" and it was more painful b/c of a yeast infection.

 

Good luck. I feel for you.

[Chiquita]

I think we all go through this at one point in our lives or another. If Jayson had his way we would be having sex twice a day! Some days I just don't feel like it at all or have a desire for it. I've wondered if it's the BC or just the fact we have been together for 4 years and lived together for 2, so for me it's just slowed down for me a bit..

[JaimeLynne]

I have a question for those of you who went off BC and became "regular" again - What type were you on?

 

I am currently on Aviane 28 - it's a low dose pill. I cannot wait to get off but I have been off once before and I broke out like CRAZY! It also took me 6 months to get a period again! So I'm thinking I may wait until after the wedding...