Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:11 PM
I have been bugging FI to phone his dad about the wedding because we haven't talked to them since we set the date and he's been putting it off (FFIL lives out of town and we only see them every 6 months or so). He finally phoned today and his dad & wife told us they wouldn't be coming.
So that's 4 people who are no longer able to come, which brings our total down to 14, including us. Now I'm starting to think having a dance floor and DJ is a little silly, and will seem stupid. But at the same time, I really want one. I want to have the first dance, I want to have a dance with my dad, and I want the guests who are coming to have a really nice time. I guess I just feel bummed that it is so expensive It is hard not to feel a little guilty about our decision.
My best friend is really upset because she's getting married this summer (I'm her MOH) and her and her husband can't afford to go either.
I'm sure everyone here has had these feelings at one time or another.
Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:29 PM
With that being said, we are only having immediate family and a few close friends coming. For us, this was the less expensive way than a "traditional" wedding at home. My FI has a rather huge family and there was no way we could pay for it ourselves (this is my second marriage and my parents paid a pretty penny for the first one, there was no way I was asking them for money).
You are doing this because YOU wanted a DW. Not having your sister and yout FFIL and friend be there will be sad, but I think you should go for the dance floor and DJ. You deserve to have the first dance and father/daughter dance...it is still a wedding, don't iss out on these things that you will only do once in your life!
Have you thought about having a reception at home when you get back?
Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:33 PM
I think if you want a dance floor and a DJ you should go for it. No one would ever say "why are we having this if there is only 15 of us?" I don't think you should sacrifice what you want because you are having less people. It's your day no matter what - just keep telling yourself that!
Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:36 PM
Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:42 PM
I was originally going to have my wedding in St. Thomas and it was so expensive only our parents would have attended. We ended up planning it for Cancun because it was more cost effective! Now lots more are coming, but there are still a few who wont be able to make it and we sure wish they could!
We are having a reception here so that all that cant make the wedding can attend. At the reception we will have pictures from our wedding in frames so that everyone can see and feel part!
Have you thought of this?
Posted 29 March 2008 - 11:45 PM
I still want a dancefloor and DJ, and you're right- no one is going to think it's weird.
I don't really think an AHR is going to work, simply because my sister's wedding is next May and we are all spread out over the country. People aren't going to travel out here for her wedding and for an AHR, not to mention it would be weird to have one after her wedding. I am thinking that an intimate pre-wedding party might be the way to go. I don't know if there will be a shower yet...
Posted 30 March 2008 - 12:07 AM
But anyways, we knew that everyone would not be able to come to Mexico and we accepted that fact. We will still have a DJ and dance floor and have a great time with those who do come.
You should follow your dreams and have all that you dreamed of including the dance floor with the first dance and daughter/father dance. Maybe people that think they cant come will change thier mind. My brother and his fiance (who is my best friend) originally told me they couldnt come but they found out the final payment wont be due until after their wedding so they are using some of their wedding money to come see me get married......I guess you never know...things can change.
Hopefully everything works out for you
Posted 30 March 2008 - 12:34 AM
Posted 30 March 2008 - 02:13 AM
We actually planned this trip before we got engaged as a big family trip to see how many people would be interested in going without it being the wedding- to get a sense of whether people would only be coming for the wedding or would want the vacation anyways. Only Colin's family were very interested.... but they've been before. My family has never been to Maui, only Mexico....
I know my grandparents were really disappointed too. I guess at least my sister's doing the traditional wedding for everyone. There's a tiny part of me who wishes we just eloped.
Posted 30 March 2008 - 05:57 AM
I assure you it won't matter when you're there caught up in the rapture of marrying your love, but for now it hurts. I hope you feel better about your decisions soon )
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