Not having an AHR?

[JenG05]

Is it OK to invite people to the AHR but not to the DW? My parents want to have an AHR for us.  I would do it for them. Afterall, it's only one evening and it wouldn't be my real wedding in my eyes, so I don't really care.  But the problem is I don't want to invite all of my extended family to the wedding, which is a major reason we decided to have a DW.  I'm not close with them and I only want people that we actually have relationships/interract with by choice, not just because they are family.  Perhaps it would be ok if we worded the invitations in a certain way, but I'm not sure.  I still think people are going to talk and make comments about not being invited to the wedding in Mexico.

[monicak]

Well said Coconoir1908!  Destination weddings are not cheap, I went all out for my guests that attended our wedding in Punta Cana this July.  We didn't plan an AHR because what would be the point of a destination wedding too.  Those who joined us had an incredible time.  Those who avoided us, never RSVP  - the hell with them   Why would I spend the time, energy and money on them!  Having a destionation wedding was the best way to go for us and I'm glad I never considered an AHR.  We too, furnished our brand new place when we got back!

[jillybeans127]

The topic of an AHR never even came up for me and my fiance. Our close family and friends will be at our wedding and thats what was important to us.

[JQLong]

We have decided that we are just going to have a BBQ at my parents house to welcome the new couple.  I agree with all that have sad...it defeats the purpose of doing a DW.  As we are on a budget we are concerend about how much it would cost to do an AHR.  What we must remember is getting married is relatively cheap....What cost the most is the reception....so.....that is the reason why my honey and I decided to go away.....to keep the cost down.  I was thrilled (just yesterday) when my Mom agreed to host the BBQ at her house.  now we can invite those that will not make it to Mexico.  We will decorate the yard, get cute (little) favors and enjoy an overall good time with family & friends....

 

I'm SOOOOo excited!

[beachbride0519]

We went back and forth about an AHR...my fiancé's family is huge and his mom is all about having one. One day after watching the cost of the AHR go up and up and getting tired of picking things out for the AHR, I broke down to my fiancé and just said I didn't want to do all that...so he said "that's fine with me! We will just do more for the people that come to the wedding then!" so that was our decision....but now his mom wants to have a celebration back home still so we told her if she wants to host it, fine, I am not planning anything, I am just showing up! Supposably it's just going to be a big BBQ, but we shall see...I am just showing up! Lol

[AllieH]

We are not planning an AHR. Totally defeats the point of doing a DW to begin with in my opinion. We've told both of our families that if they'd like to throw something for us, let us know when and where and we'll be there. So far no takers. 

 

If anything, we'll go to NY to visit his friends/family the spring after our wedding  (we don't expect many of them to show up in Mexico). 

 

To each their own of course. Gotta do what works for you.

 

[Cateyedcutie]

We're not having an at home reception. Apart from the beauty of the carribean, the point of us having a dw was to keep costs low, and stress levels even lower. An ahr would totally defeat the purpose. Anyone in my family who can't make it can watch the video at the family reunion 5 months later...tough.

[Kim Deslippe]

So glad I came across this thread.

My FI and I have been back and forth on having an AHR.  Our wedding is planned for Feb 2013 in Jamaica and we decided on a DW because of costs and it being the best option for us, with our families not living in the same area because everyone would have had to travel for an AHW anyway.  We figure on having a pretty good group going with us but I know there will be others that just cannot afford to make it and cannot travel, such as grandparents, so what we plan do to is have a personal dinner with them after we get back.  We are still undecided about possibly doing an open house/bbq reception in the summer following.

[joda]

We are not having an AHR. We chose a destInation wedding to save money and the stress of planning here, and we hate being the center of attention, so didn't want to be the focus of a large group. So basically having an AHR defeats the purpose of going away, for us. I don't think there is a right or wrong way to do it though, just whatever works for the couple!

[Avens]

We were initially planning something informal - then we moved 1500 miles away, and don't really have many friends or family here, and definitely don't want to try and plan another reception long distance.

 

I don't think most people expect it. I've only been asked by a few, but moving seems to be a good excuse!