I don't even know what to say...
Posted 22 March 2008 - 11:46 AM
i hope it all works out
Posted 23 March 2008 - 02:29 AM
My younger sister has always been searching for something because of what happened to our mom and I think she found something to fill the void with her religion; however, she is still off her rocker.
Now that I have had a day to re-read the e-mail she sent and to sort of sit and think about our relationship; for as long as I can remember her and I have been at odds over a lot. We go in spurts of getting along, and then she will do something so terrible that I have to take a couple of months away from her. Ironically she choses to act out right when my FI and I are having a big event.
When I was pregnant with my son after the first couple of months I had to cease contact because she kept me stressed out arguing all the time with me. I honestly think that she doesn't feel good seeing me do better than her. When I was a single mom struggling and working 6 days a week, she was my best friend.
When I became involved with my fiance we saw an immediate change in my sister because my time was devoted to him and she never accepted that I didn't need her as much as I used to to lean on.
My daughter is okay. I know that she loves my FI and he loves her even more. I know in my heart of hearts that there is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on in my home. I didn't mention earlier that my daughter DOES go to a group counseling session. She goes for 45 minutes a week with other girls her age. They talk about relationships and ways to handle your emotions, friendships, appropriate judgements, stufff like that. She really enjoys it and has made some good friends so she has an outlet other than me to express any pent up feelings. YES - they HAVE discussed discipline during their sessions. She told the Dr. that she has gotten spanked! If it were out of the ordinary or something that concerned the Dr. I think I would have been contacted by now.
My FI and I talked today about it and both agreed that we would have a sit down discussion with my father next week and let him know what was going on. We don't want her at our wedding and I have to sever my ties with her. Her accusations have torn our family apart. I dont know if I ever will forgive her or how I go about forgiving her.
We are in a horrible cycle of me forgiving her and her treating me like crap. Now that I say that out loud it sounds like a relationship I would tell someone else to get out of. So I am going to take my own advice and get out of the cycle and continue living a happy emotionally happy life with the two kids I adore and a man who I have seen stand so tall after having his reputation and name drug through the mud.
It is beyond obvious that this man truly loves me. To have put up with the crap he has in the past two days and to deal with the shit that has been slung at him is unreal. He has walked through a forest of crap and still sees me as a pot of gold beneath all of the garbage and nastiness that my sister has dumped on him. How do you not love a man like that?
I am so thankful to have found this forum. You guys are my golden pot of friends at the end of a really crappy day!
Posted 23 March 2008 - 02:56 AM
We could sit down and swap crazy family member stories! This is not far from what I have experienced. I say, remove yourself from negative people like her. I wouldnt share anything about my life to her if I was you. Shes your sister but you do not have to deal with her.
Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:50 AM
Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:53 AM
Posted 23 March 2008 - 03:18 PM
The only thing I can chalk it up to is mental illness and get on with my life. At first I was so heartbroken, because she's still my mom. But the thing is that it gave me so much unnecessary stress in my life that I became physically ill. My mom has a history of doing things like this to me over and over, and it took this one final straw for me to realize that I can't handle her negativity and ill-wishes toward me and my FI. And like you, I cannot believe sometimes that my FI could still love me so much after my mom has behaved so badly. That is how you know they really love you for better or for worse! I pray that you are able to resolve this with the rest of your family so you can be at peace with it. You don't need your sister's negativity on your wedding day, or any day of your life for that matter. If you ever want to talk just to vent, PM me and we can exchange messages via email. It has been a long healing process for me to deal with and I know how hard it is. Especially when the rest of your family will get involved, urging you to forgive her like what she did was ok. It wasn't ok, and you don't have to forgive her. Sending you a big hug.
Posted 23 March 2008 - 03:36 PM
Posted 23 March 2008 - 08:34 PM
Posted 23 March 2008 - 08:44 PM
Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:23 PM
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