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I don't even know what to say...

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#21 jean-marcus

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    Posted 22 March 2008 - 11:46 AM

    is there any history of mental illness or has she always portrayed charectaristics of this nature? you should talk to MikkiStreak and JessicaLovesBrian they are both like psych majors or something... they gave me some good advice on my crazy exes... it definately sounds like some sort of dillusional thing.... that is...unless...god forbid... something really is happening..

    i hope it all works out

    #22 Celina

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      Posted 23 March 2008 - 02:29 AM

      You know...we kind of had a tumoltuous (sp?) childhood. Our mom was murdered when she was 2 and I was 4. Out of my two sisters I have been the one who handled it the best.

      My younger sister has always been searching for something because of what happened to our mom and I think she found something to fill the void with her religion; however, she is still off her rocker.

      Now that I have had a day to re-read the e-mail she sent and to sort of sit and think about our relationship; for as long as I can remember her and I have been at odds over a lot. We go in spurts of getting along, and then she will do something so terrible that I have to take a couple of months away from her. Ironically she choses to act out right when my FI and I are having a big event.

      When I was pregnant with my son after the first couple of months I had to cease contact because she kept me stressed out arguing all the time with me. I honestly think that she doesn't feel good seeing me do better than her. When I was a single mom struggling and working 6 days a week, she was my best friend.

      When I became involved with my fiance we saw an immediate change in my sister because my time was devoted to him and she never accepted that I didn't need her as much as I used to to lean on.

      My daughter is okay. I know that she loves my FI and he loves her even more. I know in my heart of hearts that there is absolutely nothing inappropriate going on in my home. I didn't mention earlier that my daughter DOES go to a group counseling session. She goes for 45 minutes a week with other girls her age. They talk about relationships and ways to handle your emotions, friendships, appropriate judgements, stufff like that. She really enjoys it and has made some good friends so she has an outlet other than me to express any pent up feelings. YES - they HAVE discussed discipline during their sessions. She told the Dr. that she has gotten spanked! If it were out of the ordinary or something that concerned the Dr. I think I would have been contacted by now.

      My FI and I talked today about it and both agreed that we would have a sit down discussion with my father next week and let him know what was going on. We don't want her at our wedding and I have to sever my ties with her. Her accusations have torn our family apart. I dont know if I ever will forgive her or how I go about forgiving her.

      We are in a horrible cycle of me forgiving her and her treating me like crap. Now that I say that out loud it sounds like a relationship I would tell someone else to get out of. So I am going to take my own advice and get out of the cycle and continue living a happy emotionally happy life with the two kids I adore and a man who I have seen stand so tall after having his reputation and name drug through the mud.

      It is beyond obvious that this man truly loves me. To have put up with the crap he has in the past two days and to deal with the shit that has been slung at him is unreal. He has walked through a forest of crap and still sees me as a pot of gold beneath all of the garbage and nastiness that my sister has dumped on him. How do you not love a man like that?

      I am so thankful to have found this forum. You guys are my golden pot of friends at the end of a really crappy day!

      Love ya!
      "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

      #23 BarefootBride

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        Posted 23 March 2008 - 02:56 AM

        We could sit down and swap crazy family member stories! This is not far from what I have experienced. I say, remove yourself from negative people like her. I wouldnt share anything about my life to her if I was you. Shes your sister but you do not have to deal with her.

        #24 LadyCheese

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          Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:50 AM

          Celina, this should be one of your happiest times in your life and its unfortunate that your sister is trying to take that away from you by making false accusations about your FI. Those accusations are horrible and I could see how they could tear your family apart...I agree with the rest of the ladies by saying that you should stay away from your sister. She is your blood but at the end of the day that doesnt mean crap if she's been causing you and your family so much grief and hurt. Stay strong, keep your head up. Try to concentrate on your upcoming wedding.

          #25 ACDCDCAC

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          Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:53 AM

          Celina, that really bites. I am so sorry you have to deal with this in the midst of your wedding planning. As if you're not stresses enough! Just vent as much as you need to us, we love to listen! Hugs!

          #26 Maura


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          Posted 23 March 2008 - 03:18 PM

          Celina, my dear, I really feel for you. The relationship you have with your sister, wherein she loves you best (and seemingly only) when you are miserable, is the same relationship I have with my mother. Everytime something joyous happens in my life, my mother is there to try to drag it down. I basically cut all ties with her 3 months ago, and my life has been so much easier and drama-free since then. The thing you have to realize is that just because you are blood related does not mean that you have to be best friends, or that you have to keep giving her a million chances. I did the same thing you did, and I let my mom walk all over me time and time again and then finally when she accused my FI of using me for a green card (WTF, he has a valid work visa that doesnt expire until 2011 anyway) I had to really take a step back from her.

          The only thing I can chalk it up to is mental illness and get on with my life. At first I was so heartbroken, because she's still my mom. But the thing is that it gave me so much unnecessary stress in my life that I became physically ill. My mom has a history of doing things like this to me over and over, and it took this one final straw for me to realize that I can't handle her negativity and ill-wishes toward me and my FI. And like you, I cannot believe sometimes that my FI could still love me so much after my mom has behaved so badly. That is how you know they really love you for better or for worse! I pray that you are able to resolve this with the rest of your family so you can be at peace with it. You don't need your sister's negativity on your wedding day, or any day of your life for that matter. If you ever want to talk just to vent, PM me and we can exchange messages via email. It has been a long healing process for me to deal with and I know how hard it is. Especially when the rest of your family will get involved, urging you to forgive her like what she did was ok. It wasn't ok, and you don't have to forgive her. Sending you a big hug.

          #27 Saraha

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            Posted 23 March 2008 - 03:36 PM

            Im so sorry Celina. That makes absoultely no sense and is not a subject that should be thrown around losely. I cant believe in one would do that unless they truely felt that and had juscificaiton and reason behind the way the feel not to just make you jealous. Im so sorry!

            #28 boscobel

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              Posted 23 March 2008 - 08:34 PM

              I am so very sorry you are going thru this Celina. This post is just crazy! I think you are doing the right thing by taking a step away at this point. It would seem that your sister is in need of some counseling. I am also very sorry for what happened to your mother. That is definitely enough to scar a little girl.

              #29 LadyP

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                Posted 23 March 2008 - 08:44 PM

                I am sorry that you are dealing with this craziness and I pray that it gets better for you

                #30 Yari

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                  Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:23 PM

                  Celina, I am so sorry you are going through this. Thankfully your FI is a wonderful man and understanding. I can't even imagine what you are going through. Stay strong!

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