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FMIL wants me to call her mom...

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#21 dragonfly

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    Posted 21 March 2008 - 02:09 PM

    Originally Posted by Helen_S81
    Well the fiance calls me Helen, and so does the boyfriend. I don't expect it to change after the wedding. I really don't mind if he calls me mom or not and I would definately not ask him to call me that.
    I think as a parent we have to give the choice to our daughter/son in-laws. we can't expect them to just start calling us mom or dad because they want to if they have not been invited to. I think the choice should be theirs and something should be said like," I want you to know that I am comfortable with you calling me mom if you want to, but I am totally okay with you calling me blank also, whatever will make you feel the best" This way it has been put out there and everyone feels good. I never wanted to call my ex mil mom, or my mil now, but it sure would have been nice to have been asked!

    #22 Janet

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      Posted 21 March 2008 - 02:21 PM

      Oh this definitely is a topic on my brain because we are going to the in-laws house this weekend. But I am the dummy who made it an issue!

      See...I had a little too much to drink at my wedding, and APPARENTLY went up to my in-laws and was like, OMG can I call you mom and dad now? (You know, I was a very happy drunk that night). So now I kinda HAVE to call them that, right? But it's been 1.5 yrs and it still feels WEIRD. Not bad weird, just weird. How embarrassing. I hope that one day in like 5 yrs it's not weird anymore and I just call them mom and dad without blinking an eye. What's the big deal, right?

      #23 JHarwood2Be

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        Posted 21 March 2008 - 08:28 PM

        I have been calling my FMIL mom for awhile now. It's definitely easier to do in writing or a casual way. There are other times when I am more comfortable calling her by her name. My FI is an only child, so I kind of enjoy being able to be "her daughter". My mom died in 2005, so I do feel grateful to have another mother-figure and she does not replace my real mom in any way.
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        #24 Agape Gems

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          Posted 22 March 2008 - 12:10 AM

          I like the idea of making up something to call her. FI's 1/2 sister on his dads side calls her Moma P. Now that that's settled, how do I tell her I'm not giving her any grandchildren? LOL, that's a whole new thread!
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          #25 BarefootBride

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            Posted 25 March 2008 - 04:05 AM

            I say dont call her mom. But dont call her Mrs. whatever her name is. Sounds silly huh? But think of how often you will have to call her name.... probably very few times. I say use "Hey You" lol Okay just kidding. I probably would just ignore it. But if you really dont want to, then let her know.

            #26 Celina

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              Posted 31 March 2008 - 12:26 AM

              I would suggest to call her "momma Jane" - or something like that.

              Bless her heart...she is just so happy to have a wonderful girl in her son's life that she is just totally embracing you!

              I too have a FI who is an only child. I love my FMIL, but I call her by her name and on occassion "mom" will slip out. She doesn't mind. Sometimes she tells me she loves me and I tell her the same.

              I just think she is a godsend for me and I know I am truly blessed to be part of such a wonderful family. (My family is kind of coo-coo)

              She does live out of state so maybe the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" line applies to my situation.

              Do whatever feels right to you. Otherwise it will just be weird and she will sense it.
              "Love is not who you live with...it's who you can't live without"

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